My son is a homosexual 18 year old and my husband and I have found proof of him attempting to hook up with someone that lives two hours away from us. He has already been tested twice for HIV and thankfully both have come back negative. He has had several personal ads on web sites obviously looking to hook up. I'm scared to death he's going to get AIDS. I've already had one child die at birth and do not want to have to bury another child. He seems to know he has a problem when I discuss things with him, but he won't do anything to get himself help. He leaves for college in August and I'm scared to death that his roommates will find out and do something to him. If anyone has had the same experience with their son, I'd appreciate any suggestions on what to do. He does have a history of depression, but stopped taking his meds a couple of years ago. Web MD said there are meds he can take, but my son doesn't think he needs to be on them.
2007-03-14 02:39:40 · 11 answers · asked by 2Beagles 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Believe me, I'm looking forward to him leaving for school. My son isn't street smart. He had an appointment with a doctor tomorrow, but he said he's not going. I can't make him. I understand the male hormone thing at his age, but giving your number to complete strangers to hook up is something I don't understand. I know that's the new thing, but I don't understand how a person can think so low of themselves to do stuff like that. Thanks for the suggestions. I'll mark the best answer when I'm able to.
2007-03-14 05:49:13 · update #1
Have you ever been to a PFLAG support group meeting? it might help you with your anxiety. Is your fear that he will catch a disease? or is it something else.
http://www.pflag.org/pflag.html
I know many people with sons and daughter who are gay and lesbians. The emotional roller coaster of that is hard for many to cope with.
It may also be the depression your son has and is likely experiencing is him questioning whether or not he IS one..
Let him know in no uncertain terms that you love and support him whatever his decision may be. Don't play a moral hi-horse and make judgements about his lifestyle choice.
He would benefit from counseling with someone who may be versed in issues related to this subject as well.
He may not know himself whether he is, or isn't.
For it's worth, HIV, AIDs, ,occur in the hetero population as well. promiscuity with multiple partners increases the risk.
He needs to answer his own questions, you can assist him by just being supportive and caring parents.
2007-03-14 03:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concerns, but you are just worrying too much. Of course, us mothers do that, is your job, so I commendi you for supporting your son and trying to protect him
here are some facts,
He is 18 now, he off to college. Obviously you feel awful about your baby leaving the nest, but is his time to spread his wings and fly.
At 18 is natural an expected that he wants to explore his sexuality. There is nothing wrong with that. Encourage him to use protection and that's as far as you can go. Any normal18 year old male, straight or gay is looking to get some, to be quite honest, that doesn't make him an "addict".
In addition, you can get coodies from females too. Heterosexual couples also meet on the internet, the internet is now the meeting place.
Nowadays, being gay is no longer a stigma like it used to be. This is acepted among the college crowd and he will have no problems blending in. Kids are more open and accepting than before.
Perhaps you have many old preconceptions about being gay, like they all have HIV, they get beaten in the streets by straight males, they are all twisted addicts, etc. Those are 80's stereotypes, it's the 21st century and is no longer like that.
Continue supporting him and encourage him to use protection and pray for the best.
God luck
2007-03-14 10:45:37 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you think he had a sexual addiction if it were women he was hooking up with? Probably not. You’d likely think, “he’s a young man in his sexual prime.” I doubt it’s an ‘addiction’. Even the personal ads is not really all that alarming. Many people use them.
But you do have some valid concerns--aids, possible retaliation, possible untreated depression. However, he’s an adult. All you can do is ENCOURAGE him to use condoms, speak with a doctor, etc. He may or may not listen.
2007-03-14 09:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should like you've tried to get through to him like any good mother would. In situations where you feel you just don't know what to do is always suggest prayer. Pray for your son's health and protection. I would also tell you son how much you love him and that you only want him to be safe. Tell him if he's going to be sexually active to protect himself and to stay away from meeting people online. He much more likely to get hurt by meeting a stranger than by his roommates.
2007-03-14 09:49:33 · answer #4 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can make him understand only by becoming his friend .dont scold him .tell him that you know what he is doing .get him the magazines and other source of knowledge to educate him.tell him to take care of himself and always use condoms in order to protect himself. take him to the person who he cares about and let that person tell him all that.he is still fortunate not to have this deadly desease.tell him that he is so lucky that this time also his reports are good .but this may not happen every time .actually its a very hard situation .it is him who should understand this and not you .anyways i pray to god that HE helps you to come out of this situation.good luck !
2007-03-14 11:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by sudha p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's probably more addicted to the physical love and embrace these other guys give. Young homosexual men tend to be stupid, as it its way too easy to find another, probably older, homosexual to help you out with your "issue". They prey on the internet. Maybe you are squeezing him too tight? if he's going to leave for college, you are going to have to cut the cord, and pray that he is intelligent enough to stop thinking with his dick. His roomates won't do anything to him, regardless.
2007-03-14 09:45:15 · answer #6 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is already 18 theres not much you can do besides have a talk with him he has to make his own decisions now and he will only do what he wants. good luck.
2007-03-14 09:46:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's 18, it is his sexual peak whether he was gay or straight, he's horny mom. this has nothing to do with sexual orientation, many straight young men have casual sex and do the hook-up thing. encourage him to have safe sex
2007-03-14 09:49:36 · answer #8 · answered by ann s 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
encourage him to use protection. love and support him. try not to be so nosy.
2007-03-14 09:44:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may have larnt from either of the biological parents (verify)
2007-03-14 09:55:22 · answer #10 · answered by Obino 10-10 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋