Is wife's hormones are going haywire? She is now wanting to explore with swinging and her bi side?

Question

We have been having a lot of conversations lately about sexuality and surprisingly, she opened up to me last night. She wants to try swinging and other women. She said she has a lot of sexual energy and cravings that need to come out. She said that she wants to try two things that she was always curious about before she gets too old. That is, bi sex and sex with hung black men.

I don't know how to take this. I always knew that my wife was very sexual and I suspected that she was bi curious. She tells me that I have nothing to worry about and that it is purely sexual cravings that she wants to fulfill.

How do I handle this bombshell she dropped on me last night?

I mean, what can I do. I am thinking I should go along with it and start swinging with her because if I don't, she may get it behind my back. What do you think? Should I give her the green light and get on board with her?

Answer 1

"I mean, what can I do. I am thinking I should go along with it and start swinging with her because if I don't, she may get it behind my back. What do you think? Should I give her the green light and get on board with her? "


Absolutely NOT!! If this speaks to the level of trust in your relationship, try swinging and you might as well call your lawyers right now!

Swinging only works if a) both parties are equally enthusiastic about it and are balanced enough as individuals to handle it, and b) you have an outstanding relationship. Meaning 110% communication, 200% honesty, and absolute respect for yourselves, each other, and for your relationship.

All you can do right now is be honest with her. Her proposal/revelation scared the sh*t out of you, and you're now worried that if you don't give in, she'll go behind your back...because you're afraid that she can't control herself? That you're not enough for her? That she'll stop loving you, or forget about you and your feelings? That she'll compare you to others?... Say what you feel and tell the woman what you're afraid of. Don't hold back.

See this website for excellent advice and information:

Answer 2

OK , so what. She wants your company and protection during this coming period of debauchery. What a great thing to do with your spouse. A wild wife program. But don't do this here, or there, it must be planned with great care. Rent or borrow, in other words, get your hands on, a nice 2 bedroom, outfitted with toys of seduction, and do this in another city. Prepare for a 3 month stay in another city of your choice.Work out the schedules way in advance, recon the city, find out where the swingers reside, find the Lesbian neighborhood, and maybe start there, move in fast. Then make sure your smooth enough to get in and out with a local airline. The place must not get in the way of making a living. She can stay alone for a few nights running, but you can get in and out (no pun intended). You must have her word to not move in with anyone she gets a crush on. The rule does not allow anyone to stay with her or you for longer that 3 days. Other people are not allowed to make the beds, play loud music, or take over a sofa. Laundry can be done by either of you, but not by a visitor. Get locks and chains as needed to stop a determined effort to break into bedroom. You might need a little security firm to watch over you. After 3 months return to home base, and do an evaluation. Then pick a different city. Do it again. Stir until satisfied. She does OK, and Your OK, or not. Give it a try. Don't be Ed 'Meese.

Answer 3

Ok, first, when a person says "I'm just very sexual," that's code for "I'm may have sexual compulsion." DANGER. This sudden desire to stray outside the marriage is a bad sign too, one I've heard too many times. There is a possibility that your wife may have been sexually abused as child. By chance did she have a period where her drive shut off for a time? That's usually how it goes.
OK, the point is, DO NOT LET HER DO THIS. Even more so if you have kids, because that will be a royal mess. You should probably be take her to see a therapist.

Answer 4

Disco Stu says, back away, not today....disco lady!

If you feel you have to do this to please her, your marriage is toast. You either are in on it, or out. And if it's going to be all about her (i.e. no extra fun for you), I get the idea that you aren't that keen on it.

If you can't trust her to not do it without you, then you don't have the trust that a marriage needs for a foundation.

Explore if you WANT to, but you shouldn't be forced into anything. You are certainly not ready to give anyone a green light at this point.

I'm also interested if all the women who tell this guy to let her play will be the same ones who chatised me months ago when I asked about my interest in swinging and bringing it up to my wife. I heard little sympathy or anything else from women other than I was a selfish pig. I'm sure THIS guy will here that as her husband he is supposed to make her happy.

Answer 5

I had a married couple that I was friends with. We were friends for years. One day she asked me if I would sleep with her husband because he was attracted to me. I could not believe what she was asking. Then she confided in me that they were swingers. She said they had rather do it in front of each other than behind each others back. Well, this did not work either. I told her she was asking to much of me that I was not interested in this type of life style, at the time I was married. Anyway they divorced two years later. You need to ask yourself is your marriage otherwise good? Maybe some marriage counseling is a good idea before your both jump into a situation that could lead to trouble.

Answer 6

1) other women should not be a problem. Tell her you'd like to watch and only interact if invited.

2) as far as the hung black man, instead of substituting an actual hung black man, maybe purchase one of those huge "sex aids" (dildoes) or strap on and use it yourself, sorta like a prosthesis.

3) buy a sex swing and hang it in your bedroom. They're fun!

Answer 7

My wife did the same thing to me a few years ago. We ended up swinging and it worked out well. She tried women, threesomes and moresomes. She would also bring single guys home for herself.

It takes a strong relationship to make this work. Fortunately, she outgrew this stage and we are doing fine.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Depending on where you live, my girlfriend would very much like to meet your wife. In fact, she would like to have us both there to watch.

Answer 10

let her explore some just have her go slow and be sure what she is doing, is what she wants to do, it may even help you