How can I stop personal confidence and a gentlemanly demeanour being construed as arrogance?

Question

I used to be very shy and have low esteem. As I am now of an age when I have to sit lots of interviews and interact with people I have worked on my confidence levels to a point that I am happy with. I also try to be as true a gentleman as I can, not only in my conduct (rising when a lady enters the room, for example) but also in my general outlook and demeanour.

I fear that I may be coming across as arrogant because of this, though; I am not, as I abhor arrogance as a general trait, but feel that other people may see me as being arrogant.

How can I combat this assumption, as it is a label I really, really don't want?

Thanks!

Answer 1

Your fear is just a symptom of your underlying shyness and self-consciousness. Relax, congratulate yourself a little on becoming socially functional, and if you come across as arrongant occasionally, so be it. Everyone has character flaws, and other people are not really all that interested in labelling you anyway.

Answer 2

In my experience, self confidence and self esteem are about as common as snowman poo. Unfortunately, people often seem to see it as arrogance in others simply because it is something they have failed to attain themselves; what people do not understand they will invariably label as something negative rather than admit their own failings.

Stick with it and be proud of your confidence and gentlemanly demeanour; when people get to know you they will see that it is genuine and they will love those things about you. Anyone who makes a snap negative decision about you without getting to know you, and who refuses to move from that, is probably not really worth your time and effort anyway.

Answer 3

Whatever you, do no deny yourself of enjoying your gentlemanly behaviour. Chivalry is dieing and we need men like you.

I adore the fact that my man opens doors for me. I do not demand it but it shows respect. I also open doors for others too. Do unto others.

I have never know traits like this to been seen as arrogant. Perhaps you are doing something else? Something you say?

Nevertheless, if people really think you are arrogant based only on your consideration for those around you...run away. You dont need them.

I went to finishing school for many years and somone once said to me that upon first meeting me they thought I was a bit up myself. How sad that someone with correct posture is mistaken for stuck up.

Answer 4

Has anyone told you that you are arrogant?

I wouldn't worry too much. No matter what you do, someone is always going to find something negative to say about you. This comes from other people's insecurity about themselves.

As long as you are happy with who you are, and have not murdered anyone, you are doing just fine!