...instead of just being a boyfriend...shouldn't I have more of a right to meet with her fiance' and shouldn't she be more inclined to address issues that are going to come up, i.e. he lives almost 2 hours away...and works in another state...so that would mean she is going to be filing for relocation with my son...keep in mind we have joint legal and joint residential custody and I have my son numerous times during the week...any takers on what you may see coming down the pipeline...I would think that she would be more open with me about how this is going to affect all of us...and she would take the initiative to bring the issues out on the open...yet she had been hiding this guy for over a year before it came public...she tried to get custody twice last year and failed in court - this was before anyone knew about her then boyfriend...so with all the money spent and court time it seems that her asking for custody was just a smoke screen (in court) hiding the (then) upcoming boyfriend
2007-03-14 02:12:15 · 14 answers · asked by RealEYES 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would think that a woman who has met someone new...that makes her happy...why she is always so mad and upset...even my son (8) is afraid to tell her how he feels about her fiance "I know she will get really mad at me"..."if mom makes this man my step dad she will make my life very sad"...it goes on week after week...she denies phone calls...visitation...refuses to drop him off at my place when she leaves out of town at times..others yes...covers up her time away from our son...and then other times come clean...I still feel love for her....and see mistakes in the marriage...on my part...(I was too busy working in my own company) I don't want to hurt her...and go through more court...yet I don't want to lose my son and he doesn't want to be near this guy yet she keeps forcing her fiance on him...taking him on activities with them when my son doesn't want to go...this week is her birthday...and she has announced she will not be around so I have my son...she has never missed a birthday
2007-03-14 02:31:26 · update #1
You need to get your attorney to get this back in court asap. Don't make any out of court agreements with her. They aren't worth spit. Trust me in this. Get back to court quickly. Otherwise you will get screwed.
2007-03-14 02:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by celticwarrior7758 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contrary to what many people think, she does have to keep him (the asker) informed.
It isn't about control or keeping tabs on her but rather the joint custody of the son. You can prevent her from moving...or at least attempt to. It will take a court order for her to move unless she has you on tape saying otherwise (that its ok by you for instance). She has that and I promise you lose and the court allows her to move. I would ask her if she intends to move, not because you care about her but because it affects your custody of your son and the aforementioned court order(s). Once she tells you, inform your lawyer immediately. Conversely, you can ask your lawyer for advice on what to do next concerning her possible move. You choose...I have no issue with either course of action.
As far as meeting her new hubby, I would ask her for an introduction. Again, not because you give a darn but because this man will play a HUGE role in your son's life. Even though one meeting (say over dinner...on you) will not give you a true picture of him, you can get an idea. He shows up in suit and is articulate...less likely of a problem than showing up in a "Legalize Pot" T-shirt and half drunk.
And she is not obligated to do so. There is a slim chance you can get a judge to do so or at least have her bring him to court.
Her marriage should also end any alimony should you be paying any.
Good Luck
2007-03-14 03:07:23 · answer #2 · answered by jw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am NOT taking her side however, divorce means that you no longer have to take the ex-spouses feelings into considerationon all issues. She was right in not consulting you along the way. Who she dated was none of your business however once it became serious that changes things. I would like to point out that your question is thoughtful concise and sounds like a man who loves his son. Why can't you simply approach her and say what you are thinking? I think your own anyalysis is spot on. Depending on your state, it may be possible to block her moving. You sound like a good father and no matter what happens you need to keep the contact with your child so I say look into seeing if jobs are available for you in the new area because if worse comes to worse you may have to choose to move or stay yourself. MY ex moved away and never contacted his daughter again. It was absolutely horrible for an 8 year old to lose his father to a new girlfriend. She is grown now and has not seen him again. He lives only 2-3 hours away. I think it has been very hard on her -- please -- no matter what your ex does - even if it is stupid -- don't let it influence your relationship with your child -- Again, if she sees that a move won't cut you out of the picture because you will simply go along she might not see the point anymore. Communicate with her - get it out in the open -- see what happens. Also, consult an attorney for the "what if" scenario -- good luck -k-
2007-03-14 02:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by kbama 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's your X wife, so she doesnt need to tell you if she has a new man. But she does need to communicate with you regarding your son, since you both share custody. I don't think she can just get up and leave and take your son with her. I would assume that you guys would have to go to court to re-arrange your custody. It sounds like she's either being selfish or just trying to protect your feelings. Continue to be a good father to your son, and don't get your son in the middle of the battle. Good luck and I hope that everything works out. A son needs a father and a mother.
2007-03-14 02:29:55 · answer #4 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Best thing to do is contact your lawyer and get this settled now. She has a right to move, and with your son, however with joint custody you may prevent her from going. And no, she doesn't want you to meet the new man in her life. You are the EX, and have no right to meet her new fiance, even though you want to. She'll introduce you when the timing is right for her, not for you. Just be happy that she found someone that has made her happy.
2007-03-14 02:20:32 · answer #5 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u either know the man, or she knows u will be able to see things in this man that may not be right. get an attorney involved and seek full costody, the court will appoint a guardian addalidium for your son, he will be like your sons legal representative, your son can express his wants, and fears to him, the court usually listen to the guardian who carries alot of weight when making decisions about custody issues.
2007-03-14 02:49:08 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this man is going to play a big role in your son's life, then it is important that you meet him, however it would be in the best interest of your son for you to try to get along with both his Mother and the man she is about to marry. Doing so will keep the lines of communication open and will benefit you as well as your son. I hope things work out for all of you. Especially your son.
2007-03-14 02:18:57 · answer #7 · answered by ceegt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to focus all of your attention on what is in the best interest of your son.It sound's like you need to go back to court and file for permanent custody.If you have joint custody right now then she cannot just up & move to another state.Good Luck and best wishes.
2007-03-14 02:40:42 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
traditionally there replaced into an statement in the newspaper, oftentimes revealed by ability of the bride's dad and mom. this contemporary day, a telephone call, engagement get at the same time invitation, or maybe an e mail are undemanding. There are also revealed bulletins, such as delivery bulletins, available.
2016-12-01 23:49:17 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you have the right to meet and know the man she is about to marry, if he chooses it! And only by his choice! She is no longer your wife. She is free to marry Satan if she chooses.
Exes do all kinds of off the wall stuff to get us out of their lives.
Though seeing your son is your right. You will have to get used to him having a step dad. And living away from you. It just happens to the best of us.
I have been there with 3 of my kids. Count your blessings that you have what you have.
My son was murdered last December. I had not seen in in 5 years!
2007-03-14 02:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
She doesn't have to tell you about her personal life, except where it involves your son (it's none of your business who she's seeing, or if she's engaged). I would be prepare myself for what you think is coming. The burden will be on her if she should choose to move. She will have to go back to court to argue how this will be beneficial for your son. Fight losing anything and make her have to come up with how to make the current arrangement work.
2007-03-14 02:23:51 · answer #11 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋