We have been 2gether 12 years. I have asked him and he said n as we are happy as we are and getting married would spoil it. His parent got married and split young . Do you think this could be his worry that we have lasted this long without having to marry and if we did then it would go down hill? We have lived 2gether for 9 years and have child 2gether.
2007-03-14 02:11:12 · 23 answers · asked by sexyass 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Kim that the way he feels. I just want to have a big wedding and be a proper family. But maybe you are right in a way aslot of people break up after short marriages
2007-03-14 02:25:47 · update #1
I'm a guy and I find your man's behavior repulsive. If you were truly the one for him, he would've proposed right away because he wouldn't want any other guy to have a chance at you. He has basically said that he just wants you for sex and you're up and willing. If I were a woman, I would not tolerate this for over 6 months -- and you've been with him for 12 years. He's got quite the meal ticket. Ugh.
2007-03-14 02:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not because of what happened with his family. It's because you have been living together, and made a baby with him in this situation - what more would he want? He has no need or no want for marriage; you have given it all up to him on a platter. A mature man would know that getting married won't "spoil" things, he would step up to the plate and get married to you for the security and stability your child needs and deserves.
You have put a LOT of years into this; why are you suddenly wanting marriage? That should have been thought of BEFORE having a kid and shacking up with this dude.
Wish you luck, though, with whatever you decide.
2007-03-14 04:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I realise how hard this must be for you but if you want to get married and he doesn't you need to think about whether you would be happy staying as you are. i know that you have children but that should not stand in the way of happiness. Since i was a little girl i have always wanted to get married and i don't know any woman who hasn't wanted the same. Are you willing to sacrifice not being married to stay with your partner of twelve years. I have several friends with children that have left partners because of reasons like this. My rule is that you should never give up on your dreams. I don't know if that helped at all but i hope that everything works out for you.
2007-03-14 02:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow - what a situation - 12 yrs. Must appreciate your boldness and the bond of trust between you and your live in partner.
One fact which all need to agree - in such situation why did u all give birth to a child, do u know the consequences he will face in future life.
its nature rule to get married - its a bond - i will appreciate that u two have been together for 12 long years so why fear now - do u think after such long years of fellowship there can be any sort of misunderstanding - i dont think so ,,,,,,, since u all have decided i am no on e to interfere but i must add - all realtion needs to be bonded and given a proper name.
dinesh
2007-03-14 03:18:13 · answer #4 · answered by dkb_dk2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, speaking from a personal experience on this my boyfriend and I have both had bad marriages. We live together and do everything together that a married couple does but we are not married. It's our mutual agreement that we never want to marry again. We are perfectly happy the way we are. We are comitted to eachother with out it being on paper.
My advise to you would be to talk to your man and let him know that it bothers you, find out the source of his worries and reassure him that the same thing wont happen to you two that happened to his parents. 12 years of being together the chances of marriage ruining your relationship is very slim. Comunication is the key to any relationship.
2007-03-14 02:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by Taksha 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could possibly be affected from the breakdown of his parent's marriage, but I think it's really unfair on you for him to use this as an excuse. Every marriage and relationship is different and look you have been together for over a decade so that is proof that marriage would work out. At the end of the day your relationship would be exactly the same but you would have a piece of paper to cement your love as well as a great party of a lifetime..
I hope it all works out for you.
2007-03-14 02:19:16 · answer #6 · answered by Pearl 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you want a big wedding, you're with the wrong man. He's already stated he has no plans of marrying you so move on and find someone who will. This guy is telling you he wants it easy, no real commitment, no proof that you're truly together. I think that is slimy. And you've enabled it to happen by having kids with him and tolerating it. My husband asked me to go ring shopping after 1 month of dating. We've been together 4 years and married for 2. I wouldn't want it any other way.
2007-03-14 02:46:28 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have 2 kids out of wedlock, as a man, he needs to make the committment to his kids.
The only difference between marriage and what you are doing is a public social committment.
If the relationship is good anyway marriage won't change that. As long as you both are determined to get up each morning and recommit to each other.
2007-03-14 03:11:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my eldest sister has been with her parner 26yrs this september that have four kids thay only got married a few months ago ,her husband was the same as your boyfriend his parents split up when he was younger , your boyfriend might think that if you were to marry now things might change but how will he know unless he tries dont push him ask him to tell you why he doesnt want to get married .
its a girls dream to grow up get married but if you realy love him and he realy loves you then you dont need a piece of paper to show you that , good luck
2007-03-14 02:35:01 · answer #9 · answered by fafandloo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have been together for 12 years, lived together for 9. Good for you. Have you noticed on here all the divorce questions under 5 years? What is marriage but a piece of paper stating that legally you are now husband and wife? Do you really need a judge to stand in front of you to say that? You are already husband and wife, you live that way, have children a home and a life together. Be happy, you have outlasted hundreds of others. I strongly believe that piece of paper ruins everything, becomes more about ownership of each other. Best of luck and keep doing what your doing, seems to be working perfectly.
2007-03-14 02:23:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋