My husband is being suied for child support as a result of an affair what are my laws?

Question

He had an affair with a co-worker of ours and she claims to have become pregnant and he is going for a paternity test to find out if it is his. This is not the first time she has done this to a family her other two children are from marrried men also. What can I expect if he is the father? What can I do to keep from feeling resentment for an innocent child when we have two little children of our own?

Answer 1

There are no legal matters that involve you. You can expect, however, that a large portion of your husbands income will be taken for childsupport (and rightly so) if the child is his.

Stop blaming the mother of this child....who cares if she did it once, ten times or 100 times. If your husband wasn't making himself available to her, we wouldn't be talking right now.

Put your anger and resentment where it belongs, on you and your husband.....him for the affair, and you for marrying him.

READ: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands....

(jeez, I should get a referral fee or something with how many times I've recommended that....lol)

Read the book....trust me, you'll learn some valueable lessons.

Answer 2

As far as feeling anything resentment towards an innocent child you have to keep in mind that that child didn’t ask to be here. The child didn’t ask its mother to sleep with your husband nor for its cheating possible father to be your husband and sleep with its mother. I’m sure if that child could it would want as close to a perfect family as possible. What you need to be asking your husband is why would he bring that to the work place? Why would he bring shame on your family like that and especially deal with someone that the office knows has mothered 2 other children with married men. If he’s proven to be the father you can expect to deal with that other female. You’re going to have to try and get along with her for the sake of the child. You have to keep in mind that your 2 children will have a sibling by another woman. She more than likely will seek child support and will become a pain in your backside. Just think of it this way, if you were a single parent and had to deal with your children’s father(s) who had someone in his life what would you be like? Your husband needs to face what he’s not only done but possibly done. There will be days if you don’t get along with her even though he screwed up he will take it out on you because in his mind his cheating is more than likely some how your fault.

Answer 3

Actually none of the legal matters involve you at all.They all revolve around your cheating husband.Stop blaming the woman that he cheated with and put the blame where it belongs and that is on YOUR HUSBAND.He is the one that made the conscious decision to sleep with another woman.If he is the father of her child then he deserves to be held accountable and pay her child support.If he is the father you can guarantee and be sure that he will be ordered to pay her child support every month.Why would you stay with a man that disrespect you and cheats on you does'nt sound like you have any respect for yourself.You should not feel resentment for an innocent baby you should feel resentment to your cheating husband....

Answer 4

If he is the father. You can expect he will have to pay child support. If he isn't. He is off Scott free. For the exception of answering to you.
Feeling anger, bitterness and resentment is normal. Your not going to want to mother this child. No matter how innocent this baby is. It is a result of your husband's cheating. You will have to work through this. Perhaps you can talk to your minister. Forgiveness is a biggie on this one.
My hat is off to you. As I would not forgive this.
Good luck!

Answer 5

if he is the father, there will be child support to pay. he may want this child in his life, u will feel resentment, because this is something that could have been avoided. u will be dealing with this woman until this child is grown, and maybe even after that. there is no way over the resentment on your part, it will happen. u just have to deal with this if u decide to stay with him. the fault lies with your husband not the child.

Answer 6

It isn't the child's fault at all it is your husbands for cheating to begin with you. If it is his child all you can do is pay the child support and try and love the child as much as you can and know that it had nothing to do with it. Or leave your husband and find a man that knows what commitment means. And let him pay you child support too.

Answer 7

If he's the Father be prepared for him to pay child support. There's really nothing you can do about it - there's no need for resentment, he messed up but you forgave him, right?? - time to let it go. If you can't let it go but you want to stay married to him, I'd look into counseling.

Answer 8

You need to leave him and get child support before she does. You will get the larger percentage because your children come first and then she will be left with little. I would not remain with a man that cheated and impregnated another woman. Sounds like she is wired to collect support from married men. If you don't get a child support order first, and decide to leave him later she will get more for her child and yours will count for little with the courts. First come first serve. It sucks but that is reality.

Answer 9

your right.. and you [probably will have to keep telling yourself that over and over again (at times); its not the childs fault, its not the childs fault.

what to expect; child support, visitation, arguements over stupid things like hair cuts and school supplies.

on a personal note; your a stronger woman then i am, for i know i would not be able to weather such a storm. i could never look at him the same way ever again.

DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/creep/deadbeatparentssuck/
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm
www.goodparentspay.com

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATORS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html


LAWS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states.htm
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

STATS
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/acesstatistics.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/

FED AGENCIES
http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml
http://www.naag.org/issues/issue-consumer.php

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

SSI AND CHILD SUPPORT
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/policybriefs/pb2004-02.html
http://www.ssa.gov/notices/supplemental-security-income/
http://family.findlaw.com/

FIND YOUR STATE REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html

http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

Answer 10

I would suggest putting things in your name first car, house,savings and bank acct. Then I would ask him what in the hell he was thinking when he cheated! After you get things in your name I would kick him to the curb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!