He always says he loves me .But from time to time I discover a new affair. He denies and make me doubt. But deep inside I know. I love him an the children are very attached to him . But I feel like burning from inside. I do not know what to do.
2007-03-14 01:14:30 · 27 answers · asked by moro 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave. Once a cheater always a cheater. One of these days he's going to bring something home that you can't wash off. Then what?..
2007-03-14 01:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by Donna 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he really loved you and were truely committed to your relationship, he wouldn't be cheating! Once is an accident, more than that is a habit! And if you contiune to condone the affairs, it is sending him the message that it's ok to do that! You are sending a message that you don't mind! Even if you tell him otherwise, your actions will speak louder than your words!
If you are truely committed to the relationship, test him! Leave him, and tell him that you will not return unless the two of you go to counseling to address the problem. Maybe in counseling you can find the root of why he is cheating! Or at least maybe you can decide if this realtionship is worth your time and effort!
Anytime kids are involved it is very difficult! But please know that it isn't good or healthy for your children to watch this type of relationship! It sends them the message that it is ok for him to act this way and that it is ok for you to be treated this badly!
Good luck, you are in for a rough time, but it will work out for the best! And whatever you decide, I wish you luck!
2007-03-14 21:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and get divorced now.Once a cheat alway's a cheat.Why would you want to stay with someone that disrespects you so much.Do not stay with him because you have children that is the worst mistake that parents make because the children pay the ultimate price in the end.Just because thing's did'nt work out with you and your husband does not mean that the children cannot still continue to have a relationship with their dad but you need to move on.File for divorce and custody of the children and then file for child support.Trust is everything in a marriage without trust you have nothing and you obviously can't trust your husband.There is NO excuse,reason or justification for cheating.You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect both of which your husband has neither for you.You need to do what is best for you and your children and staying with a cheating spouse is not what is best for any of you.As I said the children can still have a relationship with thier father but you do not have to stay with him and put up with his unfaithfulness..Good Luck to you.
2007-03-14 08:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do like I did I stayed in a marriage for 38 years thinking the cheater would stop. They do not. I caught him with my sister the last time when I told him it was me or her. I was told I was crazy . I got a detective, and saved my retirement, and my inhertiance from my mother. My kids believed him because I covered for him for years. It has been 4 year since the divorce and my kids are finally starting to see the truth. Leave now don't waste your life on a loser like I did. The kids can still love him but they see it too, but you keep covering for him they will think that kind of behavior is alright. In fact my oldest daughter is doing the same thing now cheating on her husband. She learned from the best her dad. Good luck and God Bless . It is hard to leave but you will be glad you can have peace of mine. Being alone is not the worse thing in the world. Being mistreated by you husband is , you are living a lie , trying to hold your marriage together.
2007-03-14 12:29:54 · answer #4 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs counseling, and the two of you should go to couples therapy. If he wants this marriage to work then he has to be honest, stop what he's doing, and heed what he learns in therapy. If he's not willing to do that then it's already over. The only thing left is the paperwork, dividing the property, and deciding what is best for the children. Talk to him and make him be honest. If it doesn't look like it's going to work then make him leave. If you can't make ends meet without him, get help from family in the short run, but in the long run make sure he continues to help with financial support (alimony and child support). Don't you let him wiggle out of that obligation. You owe it to your kids if for no other reason.
2007-03-14 08:26:04 · answer #5 · answered by Dino 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
what i did once was throw his phone in the water.....read the book The Solace.
re discover yourself. burning inside means youre dying inside, you are being overtaken by jealousy, anger and hatered, dont let him destroy you.
then once you have discovered your new found strenght you can
secretely get all the ladies his been around with, numbers and then arrange a little private party where and how is up to you but make sure you only arrive 5 minutes after him. dressed to kill you announce to all the ladies that you just wanted to thank them for keeping YOUR husband over here entertained while he seemed to have lost interest in you and to thank them youd like to auction him off, highest bidder takes.
gaurantee no one will bid for him and he will feel so very imbarrased, (ps then you kick him out of your life)
2007-03-14 08:25:46 · answer #6 · answered by mercia b 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to leave him. cheating should be immediate grounds for divorce (quickly). he made his choice as far as who he wants to have sex with (and it's not you). you need to get a life outside of your husband and your family and your marriage and get your own life. your own activites. so what if your children are attached to their father. the dumbest reason that you can chose to stay with a man that doesnt' love you is for the children. you need to look after your own needs cause your husband is not. if you don't have a job get one and get your independence back. get an account in your own name and get your own place. then hire an attorney and divorce him. your children can handle it and can deal with it. no matter how young they are. they just need to understand that just because you are separating from your husband that doesn't mean that the children are no longer being loved. you may want to search for some books about divorce and children. believe me...they know what it is. they may be young...but they also know what's going on. it's not worth to stay in a relationship where you are not happy. make a choice. your husband already has.
2007-03-14 09:45:39 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HI dont burn inside , if you keep quiet for a long time , he will take advantage of your quietness or innocence , ask him straight who is the new person , if relations are worsening , give some time off , see if he is away from all these , then if not bid goodbye to him forever.
2007-03-14 08:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by Rajesh R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can't fix something he won't admit to. he insults your intelligence and makes u think he isn't doing this, but we women have a sixth sense about things of that nature, and we know. if he won't admit it, theres nothing u can do to make it stop. the longer u stay in the relationship the more emotionally upset u become, as i think we teach others how to treat us by not setting boundaries, he will just keep doing this, because there are no consequences.
2007-03-14 08:35:59 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, he's a whore.
I can understand a man tripping up once or twice maybe having a GF incognito and then settling down but sounds like your man does not care. He's either really stupid or just doesn't give a damn if you have caught him this many times.
2007-03-14 08:27:01 · answer #10 · answered by huckleberry1 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋