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if you things you share are too stable and established with partner - a lot to lose, how do you tell them you are not happy about staying in the relationship and think its time to leave, due to them being nasty, controlling, paranoid, not loving, no respect, doesn't care about your feelings or needs, tell you what to do?

2007-03-14 01:05:14 · 26 answers · asked by LON 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

good advice, revtimothyward

2007-03-14 01:13:47 · update #1

no disagreement, just like this for no reason when im kind

2007-03-14 01:16:36 · update #2

no children involved, just items etc.

2007-03-14 01:27:32 · update #3

26 answers

You tell them exactly what you wrote here...

2007-03-14 01:09:53 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1 0

I would say, "Sweetheart, we have a stable and established relationship. I would really stand to lose a lot if I were to leave this relationship. However, I have become so unhappy that I am considering leaving anyway, despite all I stand to lose. I would like to stay, but if I stay, there are some things that you need to change: being nasty, controlling, paranoid, not loving, treating me with no respect, no regard for my feelings or needs, and telling me what to do. I will be willing to explain to you specifically what I would need you to do differently in order for me to stay, but are you willing to put some effort into making this relationship work?"

2007-03-14 08:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

exactly that. Everything you have just said. "i know this is a lot to lose, but, i am not happy about staying in the relationship and think its time to leave, due to you being nasty, controlling, paranoid, not loving, no respect, and not caring about my feelings or needs. You always feel the need to tell me what to do."

2007-03-14 08:10:06 · answer #3 · answered by tickTickTICK 3 · 0 0

You need to TALK!! a relationship is all about compromise so you need to explain your feelings and let him no that you cannot and will not continue to be treated in this way! You might find that the reason he is being like this is because he too feels there is nothing left to salvage, but if you talk and both express your opinions then maybe there is hope!! I would say that you should not give up hope mate! That would be too easy, if after discussions there is still no joy then obviously you need to separate mutually. If you both agree a relationship is worth saving then I should seek advice from a counsellor to help you. GOOD LUCK HUN XX

2007-03-14 08:15:45 · answer #4 · answered by Jaksi 3 · 0 0

I once was in a marriage like that...everyone thought wonderful stable relationship with no problems. However underneath things festered because of the very things you have mentioned. So it sounds like you have no love left for your partner and it is time to leave.

Here you have to tell him/her like it is and explain that for you it is time for a new start. I suspect though that the tactic of emotional blackmail will creep in here and that you are going to have to be very strong willed and stick to your guns.

Of course if this is not what you want then it's time for some serious discussion between the two of you.

Remember respect is a two way process and to earn it you have to give it to others.

2007-03-14 08:14:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Pick a time when you are alone with your partner, no TV, radio of children around. The tell your partner you need to have a talk with them (not to them). From that point just tell it as you stated in your question. Don't go off the handle or shout, be calm but firm. Not all relationships will work, but you do need to work to keep a relationship.

2007-03-14 08:14:35 · answer #6 · answered by The Old Salt 3 · 0 0

First, the relationship should never have gotten that bad. Communication is the key to relationships. The two of you should have discussed the issues you mentioned before it spiraled out of control. If you truly love this person, sit them down and explain your concerns and let them know if things do not change the relationship is over. Don't give up until you have done all you can do. Love is worth the effort.

2007-03-14 08:12:05 · answer #7 · answered by revtimothyward 1 · 0 0

If you are asking about how to disagree with your partner, then that is very important. Whether the disagreement is worth splitting up over, I don't have that info based on your question......

You should always let your partner know what it is you don't like, but more importantly, you should praise him/her for sharing their personal feeling with you. It only makes you closer, and if you disagree with the views, then maybe a compromise can be reached where you respect your partner's differences. It's not uncommon for couple to disagree on things but still maintain their relationship despite it.

Hopefully you learn that the world does not share the same views that you do, and by finding a partner who does is priceless, but finding one that can disagree with you peacefully is better yet.

2007-03-14 08:13:49 · answer #8 · answered by kaliroadrager 5 · 1 0

no that is not easy i know i have been there if there are no children involved that is better just tell them you are leaving but make sure you have somewhere to go first they will try everything in their power to get you to stay you have to be strong and stand your ground there is no easy way i am sorry to say just walk out and don't go back no matter what they say because they will never change i wish all all the luck in the world

2007-03-14 17:06:11 · answer #9 · answered by sexylady_with_naughtyeyes 2 · 0 0

I'd have to leave before this person breaks my spirit and completely drains me with his negative energy. Looks like you aren't getting anything back. Relationships are a two way street. To be honest he doesn't deserve you and life is too short short to be with the wrong person. There's a whole world of opportunity out there just waiting for you. x

2007-03-14 16:38:48 · answer #10 · answered by farleyjackmaster 5 · 0 0

Having been there is such a relief to get rid of them because they wont ever change because they dont think they are in the wrong. Believe me it will be tough at first emotionally and financially but you will get through it and enjoy life again. "Better an empty let than a bad tennant"

2007-03-14 08:10:42 · answer #11 · answered by redshoes805 3 · 0 0

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