I'm married, it is wrong to want to experiment with a woman, does it make me a lesbian?

Question

Been married for 8 years, great sex life. I'm interested in being with a woman. Is it wrong, should I tell my husband?

Answer 1

If your reason for wanting to try this is not boredom/dissatisfaction with your current sex life (which it appears it is not) then this is merely a healthy expression of your own sexuality. It does not make you lesbian, but would classify you as bisexual. If you were to pursue these interests without telling your husband, it would be cheating and unhealthy in the long run. (The stress of deception among other things can make the situation stressful on you.) I would recommend sharing these feelings with your husband and asking him to support you in your pursuit of a female partner. Somehow, I don't think it will be a problem. It wouldn't be if it were me! Good luck.

Answer 2

It's ok. Society has brainwashed you into thinking that being gay is bad. I used to think the same thing. And I bite my tongue. i am 27 and tried for over 20 years to be straight but eventually I could no longer live the lie. i would make the perfect trophy wife to a man and look beautiful in an all white dress but that is not what i want and it's not who i am. I personally don't date bisexual women for the fact that they would leave me for a man or cheat on me with one and that happens a lot with bi-women. But I used to say the same thing you said and now I am engaged to a woman and it is the best most fulfilling relationship i have had

Answer 3

This one is very hard for me to answer, because I have diametrically opposing feelings at the same time (id? superego?). My first thought is you must protect your marriage at all costs. I don't think anything is worth losing what you have. So with that thought, I believe fantasy only and a closed mouth are best.

My "id" seems to be shouting for you to go for it ... but not without talking to your husband first. My thoughts are his reaction to this would be ... "Who do you have in mind? When can we make this happen? And can I watch?" That, at surface level sounds like you are good to go, but I still caution you both to consider what this might do to your marriage. It could be awesome, it could destroy it. Be very careful.

To your lesbian question, I don't think curiosity makes you lesbian. I think if you try this, and prefer being with a woman rather than a man, then that would make you lesbian. I say don't sweat that part. Your main concern has to be how any of this might effect your marriage. If either of you don't think that your marriage would survive this then I think it would be a mistake to go there.

Answer 4

Yes, you should tell your husband. If you went behind his back and had sex with a woman, that would be cheating. However, if you have his permission, it's not cheating. Make sure you two discuss this thoroughly and set up rules beforehand, to minimize the chances of any hurt feelings, and it should be fine. Most men would be more than willing to help their women fulfill such a fantasy. It doesn't make you a lesbian, but it does make you bisexual.

Answer 5

Jen I have read some of comment here and most of it is a bit awkward to read so don't let it. I can not judge you for what you wanted to experience and it doesn't made you lesbian nor bi-sexual. I think it's part of your fantasy that it's been hiding inside you. Now you finally felt it that's why you are asking for some opinion to us.
Talk to your husband and tell him about this silly thing that your thinking about,then ask him if it make you a bad person for wanting to experience it, you don't know if your husband will judge you or might agree with you, just don't keep it from him. you'll see,he might surprise you with his answer,....good luck!!

Answer 6

I think, it also depends on your hubby. If he's generally open-minded about sex, you could give it a shot and show him some lesbian porn, to see, how he reacts.

If he reacts negative, just don't tell him about it and keep it a fantasy only.
If he reacts positive, well, than work from there. You 2 need to set up rules before you realize it, so nobody will get hurt.

Answer 7

NO, it makes you an adulteress. time to spice up your OWN marriage... take your husband on a blind date, go away for the weekend, head out to a hotel, no luggage, buy some sex toys... you really want to share him with another woman? cause once you share, there's no going back.... or are you suggesting you are the only one who can bring another person into this relationship? this is a loser play.... great way to mess up a good thing

Answer 8

hey com on
go ahead n enjoy but yes talk abt it with ur husband he may also enjoy this proposal of urs. no harm in it - g ahead and add some spice to your regular life.
comon - called a lesb or not dont worry - u need to do all in life live the fullest.
if ur hubby is too loving n caring - talk to him abt this fantasy of urs - hey but he careful he may too come with sch proposals at a later date which in turn need to be agreed by u.
Or dear just cheat a little be independent and do it - thats much better - i think - its just for doing sake - fulfilling a fantasy ...

dinesh

Answer 9

Wrong
Stay with the husband .
refocus on the marriage off yourself talk with him stay with
only the 2 of you .
No to lesbian its falling for the ways of the world refocus .

Answer 10

Are you not satisfied with your husband? Why do you feel that you need to cheat on your husband by going outside of your marriage?

I think you need to think of your husband and not cheat on him, even if it is with another woman.