we love each other very sincerely.Same dreams, mental level,fears.. we shared everything.But six months back his wife found out n blasted.It was made public.Anyhow, love didnt die.We started planning how to divorce.Cos she won't divorce him.Is overly obsessed.They never shared a moment of good times, but for security point of view, she wants to stick to him. Wat shud we do.She has links with police as well n might create nuisance.He tried fighting, avoiding her, taunting her, disgracing her, but she wont budge.Pls help wat to do.
2007-03-14 00:18:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In spite of the fact that I do not have enough data to answer this question, I will do my maximum best. I may be blunt and straightforward, but this is normally the case with questions like this one.
You said: “I have a sincere relationship with a married man” To begin with, you should not have a relation with a married man whether it is sincere or not. You are an aggressor here and the man’s wife is the victim regardless of the type of relation between her and her husband; a reason why marriage is a sacrement.
You said: “His wife harasses him a lot” Whether this is true or not, it is none of your concern. They are married. Things happen. They are grown up and are capable of solving their problems. You are a foreigner and should not get yourself involved.
You said: “He wants divorce, but she doesn’t” If he wants a divorce, he should take the proper action to get it. His wife’s desires in this regard do not matter; she can not stop him. I do not see a problem here, unless he is hiding something.
You said: “but for security point of view, she wants to stick to him” What the heck does this mean? Does she have children from him? Is she a housewife only, no other job? Whatever the reason may be, she can not prevent a divorce. Unless divorce is going to cost him financially; alimony and the likes. Is he kind of misleading you?
You said: “She has links with the police as well n may create nuisance” This is BS if he told you so and naivety on your side if you believe this is what the situation is.
You said: “He tried fighting, avoiding her, taunting her, disgracing her, but she wont budge“ Another BS; a psychological war, but the real action to be take (divorce), has never been taken.
My feelings about this issue…Somehow, somewhere something stincks like a rotten rat.
Could you guarantee to yourself that what is happening is not his behavioral pattern and that if you end up married, the same thing won’t happen?
Did you ask yourself, if you end up married and things get bumpy later, and then you catch him having a nice relationship with a woman, would you not be in the same boat of his current wife?
My advice to you is you are beating around the bush and sooner or later you will fall therein.
Best thing to do …Do not be in cahoots with him against his wife. Leave them alone as they may resolve their problems and live happily together again. Your presence adds more gasoline to the fire. When they end up in a divorce, then and only then, you can appear on the stage.
The way you laid out your story tells me you don not really care about the man's wife. I hope I am wrong, because I do not want you to get hurt in the process.
2007-03-14 16:50:28 · answer #1 · answered by Aadel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the same old story. I am going to get a divorce but she is causing problems the next thing you know he is going back to her. I think that you need to find someone that isn't married. I think this morally wrong and I agree with some of the other comments. It is sickening and to me it sounds like a big game. You are both cruising for some serous trouble. In some states adultery is still a very serous crime and if she pushes it then you can both get into trouble. You both need to grow up and stop trying to hurt people. If he really wanted to leave she would be gone. If you really wanted him to leave her you would push harder. Either way it is wrong to cheat and it is wrong to sleep with a married person.
2007-03-14 06:57:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First honey, this is not a "WE" thing. If you dont believe me, see what the divorce papers caption reads for him (if he ever files)... your name wont be on it. ITS HIS DIVORCE. ONLY HE CAN DO IT. ANYWHERE IN ANY STATE IN THE US ANYONE CAN FILE FOR DIVORCE WITHOUT NEEDING THE OTHER PERSONS "APPROVAL" BEFOREHAND!
Sounds like this is the most sickening question I have ever heard. He's tried everything, hey... EXCEPT GETTING A DIVORCE ATTORNEY AND STARTING THE ACTION. What a joke. Dump the loser. He just wants your body, nothing more. He dont want any divorce or he would have made one single effort and action towards actually getting a divorce, which he hasn't
2007-03-14 00:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they have children then you should quit right now. And try to give another thought also that if he can ditch his one time wife for you why can't he ditch you for someone else one day. How Can you say the type of problems that aroused between him and his wife may not arise with you and him. Baby its only gud to see the stars but if you try to hold them you need to have guts that they can burn your hands too. So think twice before proceeding further into this relationship.
2007-03-14 00:27:04 · answer #4 · answered by ukriti 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dont PLAN how to divorce someone, you walk into a lawyers office and get on with it.
He is misleading you, stringing you on, he has no intention to divorce, never has, its a line married men use all the time to get their way with gullible women like you. And you fall for it all the time because it works.
Suppose he divorced her and married you. Want to guess what he would say to the next girl he meets?
Open your eyes.
2007-03-14 00:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by jinoturistica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until a legal divorce is successfully obtained, YOU AND HER HUBBY, are on the wrong side of law, no matter how sincere you BOTH are emotionally towards each other, outside the ambit of their legally married relationship.
2007-03-14 00:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Prayer always hepls.This guy needs to be nice to this woman for a change. they say to be able to correct someone you must first see what needs to be corrected in you, Maybe she is just retaliating to the hurt and if he is nice about the separation and divorce she will eventually give in and let him go. For you just keep on praying.
2007-03-14 00:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Crocky 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He chooses to fight, avoid her, taunt her, disgrace her but isn't man enough to get out and file the divorce so that the courts can handle the assets? and you love him?? and want him? yikes. I don't think she is the only one here who doesn't want divorce. The reason its called divorce is because ONE person wants out---if they could agree, they wouldn't need to divorce...think about it.
2007-03-14 01:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing, you have no legal grounds or moral rights in this. Just keep going with it on the sly or stop...but, you're cruising for bruising, I'll tell you now.
2007-03-14 00:22:45 · answer #9 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave that man alone and get your own GOD is watching you. Let him get his divorce if thats what he wants. The damage is done now, pray to GOD for forgiveness.
2007-03-14 08:21:19 · answer #10 · answered by sharon j 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋