Ok, so here's the deal...the night that I got into Iraq, I called my wife to let her know that I touched down with no issues. As soon as I said hello, she informed me that we were pregnant! Just so it is out there...I am very happy about it, we were trying before I deployed. She is about 6 weeks into her first trimester, and everytime we talk, we get into a fight! i know that I am really edgy over here, and with her hormones changing...it makes for a deadly combination! Before I left, our marriage was great, and I know that once I get back, we will be fine. But that is only if things get better while I am over here. I want to talk to her as much as I can, but she always seems too tired to talk to me. I understand that she really needs her rest, but all I am asking for is about an hour a day to chat on line! Is that asking too much? please ladies, the more advice that you can give me, the better our relationship has to get. I'm at rock bottom here, and anything will help!!
2007-03-14 00:14:29 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First off let me say that worrying about your pregnant wife and coming on this site for advice shows how compassionate you are about your situation. Being so far away and not being able to do anything has to be tough. I know because that is my husbands biggest fear being in the military. Keep writing to her as much as possible. I know she is tired but when she hears that phone ring and sees that its you she's going to want to talk, I promise. Keeping in contact as much as possible will help keep things on the right foot. Make sure there is a family member or friend close by to help her out if she needs anything. That's all you can do at this point. Congrats on the baby and stay safe out there. Thanks for all you do for us over here!!!
2007-03-14 00:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by CeeCee19 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I can understand I was over there and got pregnant while he was still there. Now im pregnant again and all alone. Like you said her hormones is all messed up now and im sure she's super emotional not to mention no one wants to go thru a pregancy all alone. Im know that you wish you was right there with you however thats not the case so the best thing that you can do well when ever you have a chance call her send her flowers, letters, pictures anything will help. If you have any family members or she do that lives around her make sure they stop by to help her out. Also if you guys live near a post or someone from your unit should have some sort of family support she could get involved with that. But ill be praying for you and your wife please stay safe and Congradulations!!!
2007-03-14 08:41:00 · answer #2 · answered by bettyboo9204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a computer guru in Iraq that can hook up a live feed (vidoe and audio) with a laptop and have a computer guru friend do the same in the US. That way, you can both see and hear each other. You will not be able to hold your newborn, but it will be great to see and hear what is going on...I am sure that the hospital will have no trouble accomodating you in your wish by setting up a computer in the delivery room for you to see the action...someone could put an extension cord on the camera so that they can walk it all around the delivery room and you coud 'cut the cord' by wire....
BTW: Thank you for defending our country and keeping it free so that I may enjoy the fruits of my labours!
GOOD LUCK and BE SAFE!
2007-03-14 00:22:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her when you can, What you need to do is try not to think about it, it will make crazy. The distracted people are the ones who get killed. Talk to your squad leader, but you probably won't get R and R or emergency leave when the baby is born it depends on your unit.
There are plenty of resources for your wife and she is not the first or the last to be pregnant during a deployment.
My husband just said "keep sending that paycheck and keep your head down."
2007-03-14 00:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by kittenbrower 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand.
Right now, I am 19 weeks pregnant, but from the beginning I was so tired. My husband would come home from work to find me passed out on the bed asleep or half asleep waiting until he walked in the door so that I could kiss him, say goodnight and go to bed - by 5:30 or 6:00 in the evening.
Clearly, your situation is much more stressful, but my husband was having a really difficult time at work and just wanted to talk to me. I felt so bad because I couldn't stay awake long enough to spend time with him.
By the time, I finished work, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, did dishes, etc. I was completely exhausted.
One night I broke down crying and apologizing as I wasn't able to spend time with him, cooking had started to make me throw up so he had no dinner made, and the house was a mess as I could hardly walk around it made me so sick and dizzy.
His solution was so obvious it was ingenius. We divided up tasks. He did part of the housework. I did part of the housework. We agreed to eat out so many nights a week (cheap food) and to only have me cook the blandest things to not make me sick.
I am sure that your wife wants to talk to you and spend with you. She must miss you horribly.
If you can afford it (not sure of your rank), I would suggest surprising your wife by hiring someone to come in to clean once a week or once every other week. Or contact some of your mutual friends and family to ask them to drop off a pan of lasagna or a roast or something that she can eat over several days.
Helping to reduce her other responsibilities will leave her less tired plus will give her the time to spend with you.
If she is feeling like I did, it is overwhelming. "He needs me. He's having a rough time. I can't help him. I don't want to be so tired and sick..." And everything just gets worse. I started getting angry with my husband at first because I felt like "You are asking me to do more. I am telling you I can't do anything more. Please help me instead of asking more of me." I never said it to him, but I should have.
After a few weeks, he came up with the split responsibility idea as mentioned above on his own. This meant so much to me physically and emotionally. It was another way to say that he understood, he cared and he loved me despite my not being able to do the things for him that I used to do and that I felt so badly about.
2007-03-14 07:44:11 · answer #5 · answered by kittyrat234b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be there dude..............Oh well your going to have to call her or even write letters.......emotional support is NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-14 00:18:47 · answer #6 · answered by Girl Goes Back To The Future 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋