I found an email to my wife from her "guy-friend" stating that he cannot go more than a week without her or "he will die". I confronted my wife about this and she quickly tried to cover up her tracks, erased the email and denined everything. I called him and told him to leave my wife alone or I'd break his arms. I told my wife that I told him this: She broke down crying and demands a divorce from a controlling nut like me. She still has 5 more months in College until she finishes her degree in Accounting and I don't want to be the one who destroys her life. Should I continue to support her and all of her expenses while she's screwing around with Richard? I bought her a new car (its in my name). Should I give it to her when we split? I don't want to be a cruel man. My heart feels broken; I've been so cheated on from a woman I though loved me, but now seems to not want to be with me. She never remembered our aniversary or my birthday. Sex was seldom and lifeless.
2007-03-13 23:20:57 · 18 answers · asked by honesty_counts 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
move on.
2007-03-14 00:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by coffee37man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're controlling because you want her to NOT have an affair with another man? This is a no brainer, make a clean break from this opportunistic user. Any woman who doesn't remember her anniversary or her husband's birthday is not in love with nor does she care about him. Don't give her the car and certainly don't stay with her until she finishes college. Does she care that she's ruining your life? NO! she doesn't care ANYTHING about you. GET OUT NOW! You deserve to be in a relationship where the other person actually loves, respects, and cares for you - you're getting none of these from your present wife. Believe me, if you allow this witch to use you so she can finish college and give her everything you're paying for, later on you're going to be so angry with yourself for being such a doormat for her!
2007-03-14 00:32:10 · answer #2 · answered by saylavie2u2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no more supporting this woman, you can and will find someone that will appreciate and love you. She oblivously does not. If you give her the car and continue to support her then you are sucker and she will keep taking from you until you no longer give and she doesn't care about you so why should you bend over backward for her?
Sounds like you never had a good marriage anyway, leave now before it gets worse.
2007-03-14 00:16:11 · answer #3 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone makes all the sacrifices, puts the other through college, they get their degreee and split almost as soon as the ink dries. I have known 20 couples that did this.
There are a lot of reasons it happens, you just got ahead of the curve. A split is coming. Take whats yours, finish your commitments, terminate what you think is unfair, thank her for the memories.
There is nothing you could have done to stop it. Be sad for a while then move on. You helped her to develop and grow and that will be your reward and a memory you can hold for life. Be proud of that memory.
2007-03-14 00:13:06 · answer #4 · answered by jinoturistica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there are no kids involved it should be a somewhat clean break!
I'd have to say she can't have her cake and eat it too!! She was selfish enough to bed outside of your marriage, there for she shouldn't be in titled to any "special treatment". By all technicality the car is yours, it's in your name, you paid for it with your money, you just let her drive it. You should get to keep it. Now if you have one of your own and you don't feel the need for a second car you have 2 options sell it or make her pay you back for it.
As for her schooling I wouldn't worry about it make Richard pay for it since he thinks he's the "better" man. Besides you wouldn't be the one ruining her life, she did that herself!! She made a conscious decision to have an affair.
2007-03-14 00:06:11 · answer #5 · answered by midnightstar122281 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, well, first of all, "I found an email" to me translates, I was snooping...and to give her the benefit of the doubt, it could have been harmless exaggeration or teasing, it is difficult to know out of context, and if that is the worst thing you found, she may be perfectly innocent. if she's a full time student, school stress can explain a lot of her distance and fatigue. college requires extensive time and energy, and profs team up students at random and assign them to teams.
you bought her a new car? but wait, it's in your name...ARE you a controlling nut?
definitely get a qualified counselor and work on this; you don't just toss a marriage lightly. treat your wife with respect and dignity and see if it does not make a big difference.
best wishes,
cryllie
2007-03-13 23:38:19 · answer #6 · answered by cryllie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her life gets ruined it's not on you!! She's the one who didn't honor her vows - when you make bad decisions there are consequences. If the car is paid for and clear, and you don't need it, let her have it (no need to be petty). If you can remain friends without getting your heart broken over and over then do it - otherwise it might be best for you if you break all ties (unless you guys have kids).
2007-03-14 03:00:18 · answer #7 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give her the car, but stop supporting her education to the full I would give her a bit of money to support her education but not much. I would try to keep everything I went into the relationship with, and give her all her stuff, I would consider remaining friends. But most of all I would get on with my life and find someone else. As Love is better than anything else.
2007-03-13 23:34:07 · answer #8 · answered by Steven T 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Looks like there's something missing in that relationship. When you love someone, you consider their feelings, you remember their birthdays, etc. She probably never loved you. She made a mistake, and so did you.
Let her take the car, if you are not paying notes on it, and cut your losses. Don't be foolish enough to continue allowing her to use you. Find someone who will truly love you. The difference is amazing, believe me!
2007-03-13 23:38:32 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a clean break. She made the decision to mess up your marriage. If you don't owe payments on another car, let her have THAT one and you keep the new one. As far as her schooling goes...let her deal with it. CLEAN BREAK. Otherwise, she will continue to use you to get what she wants.
2007-03-13 23:28:49 · answer #10 · answered by sassynsweet1221 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dump her she has moved on already. You need to tell her that you will file for a divorce and stick to it.By the time your divorce is final she will be out of school, you have to make a life for yourself and move on so do it.
2007-03-13 23:36:04 · answer #11 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋