I have been in a relationship with him for six years and I am madly in love still. He has always been a user of cannabis but for the past two years I have noticed he has become much more dependant on it. I have always tried to help him but nothing changes it really does seem like he doesn't want things to change. I care about him so much but I feel the relationship has come to a halt for some time now and I'm floundering in circles. Because I care about him so much I am finding it so hard to let go. I feel like a hopeless case.
2007-03-13 22:45:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Try Narcotics Anonymous.
If need be, tell him he has to choose...You or the joints.
2007-03-13 22:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bypass to an Alanon assembly. There you will locate people who've dealt with a similar factor. He possibly ought to no longer substitute until he's so low that he realizes the destruction his habit motives. it rather is noted as hitting backside. and that i constantly reccommend examining the e book Codependent not extra via: Melodie Beattie. It has replaced my existence. the two one among my mum and dad are recuperating alcoholics and that i married an addict (pot). no person takes that heavily using fact there are a number of worse issues than weed... alcohol is one among them. i'm particular your different is on some thing else nevertheless. in any case, habit is habit. And any habit is unfavourable using fact it messes up peoples priorities massive time. do no longer say you haven't any longer have been given help. there is an al-anon team on your section. I assure it.
2016-10-18 08:35:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The point here isn't if you love him, obviously you do. The point here is does he love you? If he loves you then he'll be willing to get professional help with his drug problem. If the problem is so far gone that he simply can't choose you over the drugs, then you have your answer and you need to leave this relationship for your own sake. You stated that the relationship has come to a halt and obviously something has to change. That change is either him getting professional help or you having the courage to love yourself and remove yourself from this destructive relationship. Sometimes, no matter how much we love someone it's not enough to help them overcome their problems. Sometimes, for our own sake and as painful as it may be, we have to end the relationship and move on.
2007-03-13 22:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by saylavie2u2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might be that the relationship would have come to an end anyway, you have always known about his habit and it did not seem to matter in the past but perhaps you both would have moved on anyway dispite it. You can still love and care for him but if the drugs are clouding you life together just move on.
2007-03-13 22:56:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've been there....i was with him for five years and i finally had to call it quits because he was stealing money from me and if i didn't have a bag waiting for him when he got home he would start punching walls and throwing things...the best way to make him realize is to leave...tell him that their won't be a relationship until he quits...when he hits rock bottom and realizes that everyone he loved is gone then he will turn around....Josh realized it but it was too late....if he moves on and finds someone new it will hurt but you have to realize that its not a healthy relationship AT ALL.....you deserve better and there is someone out there dieing to meet you and be with you that will respect you....its hard it took me a year to get over him because he knew me so well and i thought noone would know me as well as he did...but i then met Brian and omg...he is wonderful...he has turned my life around and made me realize how blind i really was in the relationship....if you wanna seek help from profesionals you can but 90% of the time they don't realize there is a problem so if they do go at all they won't take it seriously....pack up your things or pack up his...and tell him goodbye....do it for yourself!!!!!!
2007-03-13 23:22:39 · answer #5 · answered by buschchick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel hopeless because you are in a HOPELESS situation
his addiction will only get worse, you can't help him if he doesn't want to help himself. You wasted 6 years with him, why are you throwing out the best years of your life. If you keep going on like this, you will eventually break up with him anyway.
Move on with your life, or else you will have no life to move on with if you stay with him. You will then be helpless too, not only hopeless.
2007-03-13 23:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa I agree It's a tricky one...Drugs and relationships do not mix in my experience, they always end in disaster. There should be a local drug advisory service near you where he could get help/counselling and he could get help from his doctor too, but it has to be his choice. If he chooses the drug above you, you're worth more and there's someone better out there for you. Look for organisations that support the family of addicts.
2007-03-13 23:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by flyinghighpheonix 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem I'll keep lookin this page for an answer ive tried everything for years to get my bf off cannabis but he cant quit i can never have a full conversation with him anymore coz he's to monged out...good luck sorry i couldnt help nothin seems to work with me
2007-03-13 22:59:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a recovering addict and I can tell you that unless he has a want or desire to quit using drugs then you do not have a chance. He has to want it him self. Their is nothing you can do to change him. If he is interested in quiting then Yes a NA meeting would be perfect. Alot of support is where you can aome in. He is gonna need all the support you can give him.
2007-03-14 02:42:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very hard decision to make. In my experience with hash heads, they have no motivation and no intention of doing anything except sit and smoke dope. But a relationship is about 2 people being happy and give and take. Its obvious you have given alot in the past with regard to his habit - maybe its time you asked him to give something back.
2007-03-14 00:24:14 · answer #10 · answered by Janie B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow
this is very very delicate
maybe you should talk to a professional or something
i can only give you my honest opinion
it's wonderful that you love him and you should be proud of yourself...others would have walked out on him years ago
maybe he doesn't realize he's going to lose you
you should stand up for yourself and give him a little scare
if these things don't work and he really doesn't care you shouldn't go on
he is obviously sucking out all of your energy and spirit because he doesn't have any of his own left
i've been in a relationship with someone who took more than pot and it's horrible and humiliating
don't give up on him
but give yourself a chance, too
2007-03-13 22:56:30 · answer #11 · answered by ADA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋