should i be happy to become a little wifey to by bf. get married. maybe hav kids. conform to the norm. and possibly b happy.
or should i be a free, indipendant, rebellious, live my own, if lonely, life.
feedback from ladies who had make either choice.
thanx
2007-03-13 21:57:56 · 8 answers · asked by african_woman 3 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
Great question. I am 43. I missed most of my childhood and early adulthood(up to 35) just trying to survive. My most important thing is listening to my gut. My head is a computer, my gut is attached to the Creator, with whom I established a relationship 8 years ago, no religion, just a crystal clear awareness that if I meditate or write on confusing feelings, it is usually because my head is trying to talk my soul into something not fulfilling for me and will end up badly eventually. If boyfreind is trying to push you, and you are not even sure what you want to do with your life, perhaps you can get him to give you time and space. If he is a d*%$ about it, then, hmmm....the age old question, one I have never had the guts to answer correctly: Should I stay or should I go. Actually, the best thing to do is do what you feel will make your heart sing. That is what makes God/Universe/Creator...whomever you communicate with happy. You being happy. Things definately will be going your way a lot more if you are in alingment with what you really desire, otherwise you get in a rut and have to crawl out again. Believe me, I have had so many crappy experiences, I have also grown like a weed due to them, just a late bloomer. If you have a chance to be young and make yourself happy and don't just "settle" because it is "the right thing to do", go for it. I did not have those choices, for reasons I won't get in to. Good luck, have a nice talk with your gut, yourself and God, and you will know. Pen and paper can get things rolling very well.
Blessings, Dana
P.S. I have been married twice, had a plethora of BF's and now I see someone once a week or so, and he is 26, rich and good looking. That is my reward for being happy with myself! He is also my Best Friend.
2007-03-13 22:17:04 · answer #1 · answered by Life's a journey.... 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
cant you be married and still be your own person.. marriage should not be about becoming someone else.. if he wants you to be what your not then maybe i would wait a while before marring him...by free.. i assume you mean just being free to make your own decisions not running around on him..and what is norm.. i mean what is norm to me may not be to you.. as for the kids if you want them have some if not.. better tell him before you say i do at least that way he will know were he stands on the subject..or you could just move in together.. and that way see if it works for the both of you..my bf is not the marring kind and we been living together for 9 months now and seeing each other for almost 3 yrs...
2007-03-14 13:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to choose between wife and feminist - they aren't opposites. Plenty of people are both wives and feminists. If you're with the right boyfriend who respects you, he won't expect you to lose all your independence and he probably admires your rebellious spirit.
There are also plenty of independent women who have very happy relationships and aren't lonely at all - they just don't necessarily want to get married and/or live with someone full-time.
You can make your own way in the world - you don't have to conform to stereotypes. If you want to get married, do it your own way. If you don't want to get married, do that your own way too. It's up to you!
Feminism is about giving you choices and power over your own decisions, and that should help you whatever you decide to do.
2007-03-13 22:11:06 · answer #3 · answered by Saint Bee 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself what you want. You can get married then still later on become free-and independent.Being a wife is o.k. as is being independent. Maybe you can find a way to balance these two things out.
2007-03-13 22:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, it depends on how you really feel about him. I think its okay to get married and stuff but if you're not sure, stay single until you finally decide.
What you should really reflect on is what you really want for your future...
2007-03-13 22:07:38 · answer #5 · answered by Karena 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do what you think will make you happier.. also think about your age... if your in your early 20's you may want to wait it out. if your older than maybe go for it but either way you have to do whats going to make you happy.
2007-03-13 23:45:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should do whatever feels right to you. i think you can be a wife and still be a feminist. its all in how you view it.
2007-03-13 22:55:23 · answer #7 · answered by l81ucky 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
take time to decide- you dont have decide it all now
2007-03-14 02:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by zeichnicht 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋