Could we be friends? I love her!?
My girlfriend finished with me 2 weeks ago. Then yesterday, she sent me a message to ask if I'd like to go for a drink with her, only as friends,where we could just chat etc. I after thinking long and hard agreed. The problem was that the drink was terrible, she just started having a go at me,basically saying why she finished with me, and that she's seeing a new guy now, who's much 'better'...i just got quite upset...and i admitted rather stupidly that i had strong feeling for her, and that i loved her....she replied...that i didn't mean it...and then i just walked out...about 2 hours after, i got a message saying that she was sorry for all the hurtful stuff she said. i didn't reply. then today, i get another message saying that she wanted to be friends with me, if i wanted to, and she says she thinks it can work.....i haven't replied yet...what should i do...feel like not replying! we dated for 18 months & were good friends before!
2007-03-13 21:46:11 · 9 answers · asked by Rejhaven 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
go ahead------answer her back-----"IF" you like being abused with head games----my advice--------sever ties with her and move on.
2007-03-13 21:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by EZMZ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say she started seeing a new guy just after she broke up with you. Isn't that called a rebound relationship? Thing with rebounds is that the new person always seems better than what was there before. Can you wonder how long this new guy's feelings for her will last or how good he really is? You were with her for 18 months so, of course you still have feelings for her. There is nothing stupid in this or in telling her so. That's why she still wants to see you and try to be friends. The thing is she ain't finished with you and has indicated that she isn't sure either. She doesn't seem certain about anything right now because she is moving too fast. A person (that includes her) just doesn't turn off, like a machine, over night. You don't erase 18 months and think that you can't forget about it like it was nothing. That's why rebounds are a bad idea. It takes time to get over someone and it isn't fair to bring unresolved feelings into a new relationship, like she is doing. The reason for her going off on you was she was trying to make you jealous and/or she was trying to convince herself that she really is better off with who she is with now. That and she just isn't certain about anything because her emotions are all stirred up. That's why you are torn. Seeing her reminds you of the past. There was a lot you two shared with each other and it's nothing you should or can forget. And that goes for her too. You're not to blame for not wanting to respond either. Who wants another round of "bash the old guy praise the new"? Sucks! But if you do decide to see her just be aware she might try that again. Or not! She may just need to talk. Right now she seems desperate for you to contact her.That would be OK as long as she doesn't run her mouth throwing any more of that crap around. You'll just have to take the upper hand and tell her you'll be willing to talk so long as she is honest and up front with you. You can ask her plainly what she wants from you. If it's not something you can be comfortable with then so be it let it be over with once and for all. She may be afraid that you really hate her now but that doesn't mean you have to placate her by being just a friend to her now in order to to ease her guilt. Anyway how many people can be friends after breaking up. Seems awkward and not too realistic. Like eating on paper plates whan you're use to dining on fine china. So after 18 months of being with her will it be worth seeing her one more time? Even to tell her you hold no ill feeling toward her and you are moving on without her?
2007-03-14 06:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like shes playing games with you. She still wants you but wants you to suffer before she pulls you back into her web. Move on.
2007-03-14 04:51:30 · answer #3 · answered by karena k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we have in common but the difference were my ex is a lesbian,yah my ex also wants me to be her friend..before i'd agree, but when my ex invited me at their house, then she suddenly kissed me... then she knows that i had feelings for her..and we already broke up..still she did it..it feels like she didnt respect me at all and she also had a new girl..it was very painful, to risk..so we ended up fighting..i told her that it is really painful in my part and i cant stand to be your friend..so i decided not to communicate with her..not now..maybe i could accept her invitation as her friend when im already moved on..for you, its your decision..if you choose to be with her agen as a "frend" think twice..it is very risky..you might get hurt agen..well, if you decided not to accept her invitation as her frend maybe you will be able to moved on..YOU MUST HAVE A BUNDARIES. for you not to get hurt..just like me..
2007-03-14 05:06:42 · answer #4 · answered by tina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't reply.Move on with your life. There has to be someone out there who is better then she is. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
2007-03-14 11:58:07 · answer #5 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, i have experienced this as well. She is going to carry on throwing it in your face that she is over and is seeing other guys she wants to make you jealous!!!
2007-03-14 05:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by Roxxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest, and tell her how you feel. besides, don't you think it's right to hurt her the way she hurt you? she's not the only woman on earth you know. you can find someone better.
2007-03-14 04:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by caige 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON!
Its Not like she has the last Vagina on Earth!
2007-03-14 04:51:19 · answer #8 · answered by Latino_Lifestyle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think u should follow yor feelings...it sounds to me that she wasent very nice and u have every reason to b mad at her...but its up to u...do u really just want to b friends only or just forget her, move on and find someone who really cares about u...u deserve more...if it was me i wouldnt call her but its seriously up to you, follow wat u feels right...Good Luck!!!
:P
2007-03-14 04:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by Eskimo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋