member.Ihave never shared it with my other fmly membrs;the person who did this to me ihave never seen him since then.I'm trying my best to let it go but it has become hard 4me.I'm now28yrs old,idon't feel like getting someone to marry because of what hapened to me.Now my quiz is what can i do to forget the past?because when ithink about it,my heart pains more.Please,ineed help,any anwer will be apreciated.
2007-03-13 21:23:17 · 11 answers · asked by BAHATI J jaybe 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Now that your grown, confront that family member, who knows he could be doing the same to someone younger in your family and has done this to someone else in the family. Tell your family, if you have siblings, maybe confide in them. If this sick person did this to you, then your probably not alone with this pain. You have carried this for too long. Try to get some help with coping with your past, no you can never forget what happened but you can better cope with it, if you let someone help. Please, do not pass up the opportunity for someone to fall in love with you, and you in love with them. Marriage can be such a wonderful thing, and your mate could help you overcome this experience and help make you complete. I will pray for you, I am so sorry that this has happened to you.
2007-03-13 23:10:46 · answer #1 · answered by Bugg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most rapes are done by family members and 'uncles'. But there is a bright future for you. Of course it is very hard to forget what happened but you don't have to dwell on it. You should go to a Psychiatrist with whom you can establish a pleasant relationship and just talk about it. I know that may sound too easy for you but it helped me greatly. I was 6 years of age when World War 2 broke out. I was 11 when it ended. For 5 years there was not a day that there was no shooting, bombing. It left me with nasty memories and recurring nightmares. One was where I was being chased by German soldiers and they were shooting at me. They never caught me but I would wake up with sweat and pounding heart. Fifteen years ago I had reason to see a Psychiatrist. She never talks much, just leaves it to me and she gives advice when warranted. Now for the amazing part. After I had discussed the nightmares in general and this one in particular, the nature of my nightmare changed. I would pick up a rifle and shoot back at the Germans. The last time I had this dream, which it was by now, not a nightmare any more, I captured an SS captain and told him I was going to kill him. He asked 'Why'? I said 'You are an uninvited and unwelcome guest in this country and you are killing my fellow country men'. I pulled the trigger. I have never had that nightmare again. And all my other nasties disappeared. So if this could work for me when I was 58 it can work for you. Don't wait for results, they'll come. First find a person with whom you can feel safe and who you trust.
You will make it. I promise.
2007-03-13 21:47:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at the past as a learning experience. Try to think of what you learned from it, why it happened, warning signs that indicate it might be happening again(run away at this point), and what you and the other party did to contribute to this happening and how it might be avoided in the future. Then you will see it coming before it gets bad and you can avoid it in the future. Some things are never forgotten and u just have to remember the why's and whatfores and try to not let them happen again. If you let them happen again it is your own fault and it means all the bad stuff that happened to you means nothing. Think about whether you want to be alone the rest of your life and whether that is ok with you. Some people are ok with that. You could just have low key relationships for the rest of your life. Some people need to come home to a family everyday so think about what you want for yourself. Don't let fear lead your life because you will never be happy. good luck
2007-03-13 21:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough experience...i guess life has to move on...whether you are ready or not. Make the most with what you got now and go forward. Look fear in the eye and subsequently it will fade off through time. Only time & patience will heal.
2007-03-13 21:27:45 · answer #4 · answered by Jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel your pain and say sorry for what happened
i believe also you must grow beyond that incident .....
there is an emotional attachment involved within you ...
a childlike ego like poor me syndrome you must deal with in meditation to grow
best of luck
2007-03-13 21:27:42 · answer #5 · answered by q6656303 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just remember, it wasnt you and that most people out there out are deffinitly not THAT family member. There are too many wonderful people out there that will treat you like you should be treated. just remember. dont lay your family member's "sins" on a person that is willing to love you for who you are.
2007-03-13 21:30:30 · answer #6 · answered by Mercury 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you cant talk about it with family or friends, you need to seek professional help. see a psychologist
2007-03-13 21:47:06 · answer #7 · answered by l81ucky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definetly dont keep it a secret forever
it will feel better to talk about it
2007-03-13 21:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bring it out and talk about it with your family.
2007-03-13 21:25:58 · answer #9 · answered by I know EVERYTHING! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your family...
i wish u luck:)
2007-03-13 21:27:43 · answer #10 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋