Brain tumor, husband doesn't care, children need child support...?

Question

If I divorce will I be called an 'unfit mother'? I'm doing fine, but I'm very scared knowing there's something in my head. It's not growing fast. I have to have MRIs every two years to make sure it doesn't grow. My husband lives abroad, and didn't even bother to come and help when it was diagnosed and the hospital phoned him. He phoned me angrily in the hospital and said "what the ****** is going on?"
He hasn't sent any child support for the children, and is trying to force us to go to live with him. But he lives in a remote place where the medical care is not OK for this sort of thing, and besides that, I don't think he cares if I live or die. I think it is a control thing that he wants us to go to him, and the children don't want to move there. They have been so wonderful, so brave, and they don't deserve this from their father.
I have no family to go to.
I need to divorce and get child support, but I am very worried that the court might make the children go and live with him.

Answer 1

Seek out a family lawyer first to see what rights you have over your children, and go from there. I would certainly consider a divorce.

Answer 2

You have your children right now and , you could not ask for more then there love for there mother and there support!
It's love like that that can get you through the worst of days.
My I make a small suggestion to you, tell them "YOU LOVE THEM EVERY DAY" if you don't already.
I have found that people who say that really make the family life a wonderful experience, even on the worst of days!

Now may I ask the following: Is it terminal?
Whats the size and is it operable, for removal?
I would also contact a neural surgeon and find out your option's!

Sorry talking like an M.D here but what you do now will determine how you survive, an length of your life's quality.
Now for your family, you need to make a living will for them to execute should you not be able to make arrangements for your own care. It should include, what you want, who make decisions, and where the kid go if the worst happens. I would also get a divorce under grounds of spousal abandonment, most states still have that prevision as an option. You could then ask for Spousal support and child support as well and make him pay though the nose as well. ( the BASTARD)
There's no excuse for that kind of behavior, and for him to contact you with an attitude like that, that man has no morals at all, and you and family would be well rid of him.
I hope you have a good life with or without this man but you have a long road ahead of you and you must be worried for family and yourself, so that said, my best wishes to you!

One of the best things about answers is being able to communicate your feeling without fear of compromising your integrity as a doctor!
So may I say "THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION" it allows me to be a 'HUMAN" first and not a doctor.
My best wishes for you and your family! You will be in my prayers.
And God Bless you.

Answer 3

I am sorry to hear about your condition :( will hope for good health for you.
First. Get a lawyer, if you cannot afford one, seek out legal aid..at the very least it will help somewhat. Second. I know it sounds crass but this guy sounds like a complete *** anyhow. Apply for state assistance, why you ask? Because they will do this for you. They will take him to court and make him pay you what he owes. If he does not comply, bye bye to his license, bye bye to out of country travel, and so on.

The fact that you have a brain tumor does not debilitate your normal daily functions, does it? If not, that is easily provable by your medical records. If need be have your doctor in court. he will not win a case on what if's. It sounds like proving him to be an unfit parent is easier, ironically.

Also, if he has been gone for an extended period of time without making provable attempts to get in touch with you and your children. He can legally be charged with Abandonment. This is a very serious charge, as it falls under neglect as far as the children go. However all states vary. If he is an another state, it will make things harder.

**I am not a lawyer, just giving some knowledge I have concerning the subject***

Answer 4

there is no judge that would give him custody in america or anywhere else. the fact that he hasn't supported the kids is not favorable for him when the divorce happens. get your divorce and custody and child support and take care of your medical concerns. good luck.

Answer 5

you're already living the life of a divorced woman, so go for it. A good lawyer can get you something just on his lack of support presently.

Answer 6

As long as there is no harm coming to your children which it sounds like there isnt he cant get sole custody especially since you have always been the primary carer. He is entitled to access to the children unless his controlling ways are harming the children.

Answer 7

if he lives abroad, he has little chance of getting the kids... so relax. another thing is, they would have to prove you unfit or a danger to the children in some way (such as a severe crack head or something) in order for your kids to be taken away.

not gonna happen... nope.

just do what you have to do for your kids. their needs comes before all of us, period. they need you, and your a great mom, so stop worrying.



DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/creep/deadbeatparentssuck/
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm
www.goodparentspay.com

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATORS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html


LAWS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states.htm
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

STATS
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/acesstatistics.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/

FED AGENCIES
http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml
http://www.naag.org/issues/issue-consumer.php

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

SSI AND CHILD SUPPORT
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/policybriefs/pb2004-02.html
http://www.ssa.gov/notices/supplemental-security-income/
http://family.findlaw.com/

FIND YOUR STATE REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html

http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

Answer 8

seek legal advice

Answer 9

divorce his ***, what a bum, make him paid for child support and take half his money.