i am not over bearing or anything and i let her be her own person and i let the decision be up to her if it is something that has to do with her. but i always have an instinctual need to protect her from things that may cause her emotional or physical harm. am i bad in the eyes of a feminist or other women?
2007-03-13 20:15:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
actualy come to think of it i feel a need to protect any woman if she is in trouble. i consider them the weaker sex but ONLY in the physical sense. they are smaller and physicaly weaker.
2007-03-13 20:18:33 · update #1
i meant other women if they were being beaten by a man or something or if they were being attacked. but other than that no.
2007-03-13 20:23:17 · update #2
Baba Yaga. i do NOT hate women. like most people here. i dislike YOU!
2007-03-13 21:03:15 · update #3
I think its great! I'm one of those strong, independent, woman types who LOVES when men play the protector.
I get to feel delicate and feminine and my man gets to feel strong and scary. It's like foreplay.
However, it should be noted that this only applies to physical dangers. When it comes to emotional stuff the "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the ***. Better to be up front and honest so as to maintain the trust in the relationship and avoid worse conflict further down the road.
2007-03-13 20:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by sheeboobles 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Of course it's normal! I'm single, and can take care of myself, but when I have a boyfriend, if he is strong, I like to feel protected. I'm independent, but as someone put it, it's kind of a roleplay. And it's nice to think that someone would protect you in case something happened. I mean, I'm 5'4" and weight about 110, so I'm obviously weaker than most men!
As for emotional harm, I'm not sure because it depends on what you mean by that. But when I cry because I'm sad, it's nice to have someone around to give me a big hug!
The feminists you hear about are often a bit extreme, so don't worry about it.
2007-03-14 15:25:33 · answer #2 · answered by Offkey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it very sweet. Of course you would want to protect her, shes the most precious thing in your life. If you DIDN'T want to protect and shield her than i think that would be the problem. It fantastic that you love her that much. Good for you
2007-03-13 20:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by Kris 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Know what, it's perfectly natural for a man to want to protect his woman. There's nothing wrong with you at all!
2007-03-14 04:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
People who care for each other feel this way; if you have a sister or younger sibling I bet you feel that way too. Just don't sheild her from too much - there are important lessons to be learned through experience.
2007-03-13 20:20:14 · answer #5 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, if I were your girlfriend, I would be incredibly insulted by the paternal view you seem to take towards women. Implicit in your desire to protect her is your assumption that she's unable to protect herself ... In my eyes, your 'need' to protect your girlfriend IS unhealthy, but only because it stems from a patronizing, sexist P.O.V. I mean, of course you want to protect the people you love - but feeling the need to protect all women because you believe women are weak and unable to take care of themselves is degrading. Seriously - talk to her about this and let her know how you feel so she can decide if the disrespectful view you have toward her capabilities is enough to dissolve your relationship - if not, you've got an awesome partner... If she sees herself as in need of protection, I'd say she's got some self-esteem/emotional issues that she needs to deal with. (Do you really want to be with a person who is emotionally/physically weak?) You should certainly help her with those issues if she's willing to stay with you. But, yeah, in my P.O.V. your desire to protect you girlfriend is a disrespectful/ 'bad' thing because it stems from a view of her as 'lesser' and weaker than you.
You shouldn't really feel bad, though, our culture pretty much explicitly says 'women are weak, patronize them'. The fact that you've bought into that doesn't make you a bad person, and the desire to protect a person you love isn't 'wrong'... But the idealization you have of women as weak and pathetic and incapable of protecting themselves is wrong.
Of course, it's a good thing to want to help a person in trouble,etc, but to deliniate your desire to protect others along gender lines is patronizing and - once again - totally wrong.
2007-03-14 04:53:47 · answer #6 · answered by Cristy 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋
It's perfectly natural and fine... don't let others make you feel it's wrong. You are one of the few left, don't you ever lose it!!!
2007-03-14 11:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by User 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong for you to want to protect your girlfriend. Women need to be protected from themselves and society.
2007-03-14 05:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd let you get away with feeling the need to protect your girlfriend, but as for random women nuh uh.
They're strong independent women and can look after themselves.
Oh and feminists will probably look down on you more for being protective of your girlfriend than of other women.. sign of patriarchal domination etc. etc. They just hate heterosexual relationships.
2007-03-13 20:20:52 · answer #9 · answered by Happy Bullet 3 · 2⤊ 7⤋
no, its sweet and nice. but dont over do it otherwise u can also get into trouble
2007-03-13 20:32:36 · answer #10 · answered by khushi j 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋