i'm in a emotionally abusive relationship.. i feel so trapped. help please!?

Question

i need serious help. i find myself in an emotional relationship that i can't seem too get out of. he is always lying too me and making promises he never keeps and then when i tell him how i feel he always makes everything seem like my fault, like he did it cause of something i did or he did it cause of his bad childhood and he can't help the way he is. when i try too leave he tells me he is going too kill himself, he has a gun and when i tell him i can't do this anymore he'll take it out and tell me he'll do it if i leave. he then makes me feel bad like i shouldn't be getting my feelings hurt for the **** he does and like i said he always makes it out too be my fault. i don't know what too do cause if he killed himself i don't think i could live with it.. i do love him, but i can't take this pain anymore.. i feel so tired and trapped.. i need serious help.. =`[

he also tells me if he killed himself it shouldn't matter too me .. like i'm leaving so why the hell would it matter.. i would be fine if he did it..

Answer 1

He Is Playing Mind Games With You Get Out Fast Fix Your Pain And Heartache Later When Your Out Of That Potentially Life Threatening Relationship You Will Heal But If He Keeps Messing With Your Head You May Never Get Out Or Worse

Answer 2

Look I am there. The only person that can help you there is you. Only you know the real reason that you are there and it is most likely not him or his cries for attention. There is some kind of dependency there and you must try to break away from it. I don't know if it has become a physically abusive relationship but going down the path you are heading it will become one.
You are digging yourself in a whole and he is just doing what you allow him to do with you.
Wake up hun before it's too late. So many people tried to help me and it after a abuse induced miscarriage at four months, then being left alone during another pregnancy at seven months when he decided to cheat on me with his ex-girlfriend that is married with five kids that I was able to open my eyes and actually see what the hell i was going through. Don't let it get there get out, there is always a way out always you just have to be willing to not leave. Learn from it, it will make you stronger, and never forget so that it will not happen again.

Good Luck to you I honestly mean it.

Answer 3

Just leave. He will never get tired of making that threat to you and unless he meets someone new and actually wants you to leave, he will never let you just break up with him.
So leave and leave a card with the number for the suicide hot line on it. If that helps you to feel less guilty, then do it. Give him plenty of information but not a lot of warning. You've already tried to leave so he shouldn't be surprised. What I'm afraid of is that he will threaten you with the gun. He might have a lot of time to start thinking, 'Why me? What did I do? Why not her? She's the bad one.'
This is such a bad situation, you shouldn't spend another moment with him.
Go to be with family or your closest friends but make sure they fully understand he is a nutcase. Call the police if you have to - and get a restraining order. If I were you, I'd even consider leaving the area if you have friends out of state.
Tell the police he has a gun. It might not be registered. If he does anything illegal, don't try to protect him from the consequences. I mean jail.

Answer 4

I HAVE BEEN THERE!!! On May 20th I had ten days of constant tension between my husband and I. I have 3 little children. My husband said if we got divorced he would kill himself. We went to counseling because he was emotionally and verbally abusive to me for 8 years. I had had ENOUGH... You realize that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship because you cannot see the light. My husband wrote me and the kids suicide notes then called me at work at shot himself in the chest with a little gun I was on the phone. I called the police they went to the house He had nicked his lung. He went to the hospital and got out 6 days later. By then I was moved to another town and filed for divorce!!!!!! You have to realize he is a grown man and his actions are his own. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. If he gets an owie at work is that your fault? Same thing.....
You cannot be responsible for his actions. IF you feel responsible QUIT IT!!!!
He is a grown man and 99% of the time He won't do it. ANd what if he does YOU CAN WALK AWAY!!!!!!!!!! The police will even tell you that it not your fault. But what is your fault is putting up with his whining.Of all of the websites my husband is the only one that did it and I AM FREE!!!!! You are the only one who can decide that enough is enough...... You don't love him you just think you do a month of freedom will cure that believe me...... You have to leave. One of the top symptoms of being in an abusive relationship is cause and effect. He doesn't love you or he would never put you in this predicament!!!!!!!!! WALK OUT AND STAY OUT... Don't listen to his bullsh%& It will only suck you back in. Believe in yourself and that you deserve a better man than that and start the healing process. Live your life not do what he wants ALL THE TIME. You have to make yourself happy and no one can take that away from you. If he threatens call his bluff. I did and now he has scars that every time he sleeps with someone he has to explain what happened. OH WELL..... Live your life not his......

Answer 5

He doesn't have the ability to follow through with any other promise he gives you, why would you think he'd follow through with killing himself? This is called emotional blackmail. He's not willing to be a good man, so he's being a bully instead.

Walk away. Take your things and leave while he's gone at work. He won't kill himself. People like that never do. They get way too much enjoyment out of torturing others to ever just die quietly.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Do you actually think this man is gonna kill himself over a relationship? I know this has been done but you should call his bluff.If you can't leave him do it over the phone and when he say he's gonna kill himself, tell him that's why you called him, tell him to make peace with himself and do what he have to do, because you're doing what you have to do. You are not trapped unless he's pointing the gun on you. If his immaturity will cause you not to be able to live with yourself, then you need to stay with him. You know for yourself that he really don't love you, love is not abusive, Pick yourself up and live.

Answer 7

You need to leave. He is manipulating you into staying. He SERIOUSLY needs a shrink and probably some antidepressants. When you leave, if he does try to kill himself, he will be doing it to try to get you to come back so he won't do it again. Chances are, though, he won't try. Because if he was really going to try to kill himself he would have done it already, if he has a gun. You need to worry about your safety and your sanity. You could probably benefit from a little counseling as well. Just to help you get through the emotional issues. It's working for me. I have not regretted one day that I left, and he is still alive. Don't let him keep blaming you, manipulating you and treating you like this. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone who will take care of you, love you and treat you with the utmost respect.

Answer 8

What are your fears? That he will kill himself and you will live in guilt??? he is an adult and he has choices in life and that's the same for you. You are not trapped....there are choices for you but you need to be brave and you need to love yourself first. I am not cold blooded but if he wants to kill himself, you can't stop him and he is using that against you and you know it. Sounds like he is blaming everyone and everything around him except himself. Tell him to grow up and pack your bags or seek some professional help. How do you see youself 10 years down the road? All worn out, haggard and bitter about life because of him or happy, contented and peaceful. You have to make a choice. It's really in your hand. Have faith!

Answer 9

Just leave, now! Its not going to get any better and you're just being held hostage in his personal hell. He can't or won't tell you the truth, so why do you believe he'll shoot himself? Even if he shoots himself he won't kill himself. Its just another elaborate way to exert control over you.
Worse case senario: what if he does kill himself? You know what life was like with him. Can't you see deep down how much better off you'd be without him?

No one can help you until you leave him and seek help. It starts from within, you have to first LOVE yourself to want better for your life. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

Answer 10

There are two good books I have read that my help - "Love is a choice" and "Dealing successfully with Screwed Up People." I agree he is an adult and responsible for himself. He can blame you all he wants to avoid taking responsibility for himself but that does not mean you have to accept the blame and the responsibility of his actions. He is manipulating you with his threat of suicide, but if you fear he may actually do it or think you may be responsible if he does because you wouldn't let him manipulate you, then call 911 before you tell him you are leaving or have him involuntarily committed - which can be done if he threatens it especially if he has the means. Did you ever think of taking his gun off of him (when he is not around to avoid any danger to you)?

Best wishes. For better help there are professional counselors and support groups. There are numbers in the front of most phone books for help lines that can direct you to counselors, support groups or women's centers.