My husband feels real bad that I wrote a loveletter(not sent) to my classmate 6months back.Our marriage had not been happy for the last couple of years. He is broke now and my parents hate him as he hates work and is lost in his grand ventures. He is a good father and is intelligent but never does a job and occassionally gets drunk and quarrels which I hate. My friend gave me lot of self-respect which i lost and treated me like a lady.My parents refuse to give me my share of property inspite of my asking them. My husband blames me that I used him as he paid the bills for the last 14 years. I can't entirely depend on him as we seperated twice in the past and I am afraid he may not treat me well if I choose to avoid my parents. He asks me to sever any contact with my parents. I always wanted a loving and responsible husband while he turned out to be loser. My classmate turned out be far better and I regret having ignored him as he is happily married now and me unhappily. what to do now?
2007-03-13 19:08:42 · 8 answers · asked by venus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All i ask him is to get a job and quit drinking, never again in my presence. I been working for the last 6 years and I will be leaving for US soon and I told him that he and kids could join soon. He blames me for having worked for peanuts when I could have tried this earlier. This letter is just a fantasy and I asked him to ignore it as I never intend to end my marriage and i told him i would ask him to move on if i am truly in love with another guy. He understands some times but accuses me of infidelity.
2007-03-13 19:25:43 · update #1
Yes
2007-03-13 19:14:47 · answer #1 · answered by ButterMilkQueso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can hear that you are at the end of your tether regarding your hubbys behaviour.....the letter was just a catalyst to try and invoke change but you are grasping at straws.
Go see a counsellor, so that you can talk it out to a professional who may help you find a new way to cope, to reconnect with your husband or find a healthy way out of the marriage. Its not your fault, it is the circumstances so I dont blame you for trying to find comfort somewhere.....but you are channelling it in the wrong direction. There IS a better way...so pick up the phone and call a free counselling service...like Lifeline or Relatonships Australia...there is always help.
2007-03-13 20:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by Scully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very cold hearted woman. You're fantasizing over an ex-boyfriend because you don't believe in your husband's ability to make a living at his dream? And you're demanding property from your parents for what reason?
I think you need to sit down and take a good look at your life. I'd be drunk too if my wife were writing letters to other men.
And please don't go sending anything to the classmate. If he's got a happy marriage it's not because of just him. It's because of him AND HIS SPOUSE working to make their marriage happy. So, don't go playing in it thinking you'll get what she has. Chances are you'll only make everyone involved unhappy.
2007-03-13 19:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by penhead72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 Appologize for the unsent love letter (I wonder why you left if around)
#2 Do not stop contact with your parents
#3 Stop comparing your "could haves" been with "what I haves"
#4 Allow no booze in the house
#5 Explain to your husband that he get a job that will at least pay the bills and his grand ideas can be his hobby (doubt if this is going to fly, but you can try)
#6 Get a job (will take you out of the house and give you the self esteem you lack) and take control of the money to insure that bills get paid.
2007-03-13 19:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are fantasizing about something you can't have and it is affecting your marriage. You talk about how this fantasy has boosted YOUR self respect...what about your husbands? How do you think this letter makes HIM feel? Why should he WANT to do anything for you if this is the way you feel about him? YOU are the one making yourself unhappy...So do something to make yourself happy... get off YOUR butt, get an education, get employment and divorce your husband...
2007-03-13 19:39:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop making excuses for wanting to cheat on your husband. Go to school or get a job and help him or leave. But while you are married you need to stick to your vows.
2007-03-13 19:15:01 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to part ways with hubby and start again. It's difficult, but you will be much happier for it. Nobody should keep you from your parents.
2007-03-13 19:15:15 · answer #7 · answered by Nort 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes
2007-03-13 23:57:19 · answer #8 · answered by jasmine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋