i want to have a couples dinner in a nice restaurant since im married and want to be able to dress up and have a few cocktails i have drank before and know how to handle my liquor but the problem is that i want to invite only one of my brothers and his girlfriend the other brother is married to an alcoholic and they fight in public when she drinks and she will regardless of us talking to her about it which we have, she gets falling down drunk almost every day so am i in the wrong for not wanting them to come with us since its my bday and i want to have fun and not be embarrased by my family in front of the other couples im inviting
2007-03-13 17:55:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this is the only part of the night we will be with anyone else the rest is reserved for me and my hubby and i want to drink in public since ive put my time in
2007-03-13 18:07:46 · update #1
Hi there robesonfam, Your 21st birthday is a milestone, and a day that you need to look back on with good memories and a smile on your face. Go ahead with your instincts, and plan your birthday meal how YOU want it to be. Bearing in mind that you have spoken to your brother and his wife before, and they have not taken heed of your advice, then you should have your birthday celebration without them present.
If they find out after the event that they were left out, then: a) You can remind your brother that you love him and it was an awful decision to leave him and his wife out; but remind him that it would only have ended in disaster for obvious reasons, and that surely he would not have wanted that for you......and b) if your brother loves you he will come to understand and get over it.
Have a great time on your 21st, have fun and enjoy your evening without having to spend the whole time worrying. Enjoy, and take loads of pictures to look back on with a smile when you are older. All the best! :o) x
2007-03-13 18:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy! I dont blame you for feeling the way you do. I would think that if you did talk to them about this issue, they should not be surprised about you not asking them to attend the gathering. Tell this brother how uncomortable this makes you feel. If he does not understand, then unfortunately he likes his wife to be drunk or does not see the harm in allowing this to continue. I can see how this can backfire later at other gatherings, but they both need to see how their use of alcohol has begun to impact the family.
I can see this only getting worse for the family as a whole. Your brother is either blind or suffering bad all by himself. Maybe he needs some help.
2007-03-13 18:23:40 · answer #2 · answered by Krambala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your brother will be hurt if you don't ask him. What I would do is have a word with him and ask him how he felt about you all meeting up. He will probably say no to going anyway, but I would let him make the choice. You never know he might not tell her and go on his own. What I would do is explain how you feel to him, he will understand. Hope it all goes well x
2007-03-14 03:03:57 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Isis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would invite the brother without the lush of an in-law, and just make alternate plans with the brother with the lush later. Perhaps go to a bar (drive separate) with them, and if she starts in, leave.
2007-03-13 18:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by HG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your brother,and ask him if he could get her some help,It's your special day,and you'd like to invite you both,but she always ends up fighting after one to many,If this behaviour happens on my birthday,she won't be able to accompany us in the future,unless she gets help.find out what is causing her to drink?If she still insists on coming/or doesn't have a problem,be firm and tell her she can't come.Otherwise you could have dinner at your place,invite her and your brother,then go out with your friends afterwards.It can be tricky,trying to get your point across,but try your best.
2007-03-13 22:20:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not go out a couple of hours earlier with the nice brother and his girlfriend for drinks, then arrange to meet the other at the restaraunt for your meal and soft drinks.
2007-03-13 21:23:50 · answer #6 · answered by SOJLO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh bless you! happy birthday!
just tell the truth ive had this before with not inviting my boyfriends sister to my birthday party cos we always fight, yes my in laws were annoyed but so what it was my night not theres!
my night was great and yours should be too.
2007-03-13 22:22:53 · answer #7 · answered by kiki_dees 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem you have is just called having a family we all get in these situations its your day don`t let anyone ruin it
2007-03-13 18:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you have every good reason not to invite them tell your brother why and he should be understanding
2007-03-13 18:00:33 · answer #9 · answered by Andres A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go somewhere where they don't serve alcohol, then go home and drink after and do your husband.
2007-03-13 18:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by Wocka wocka 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋