Me and my guy were doing perfect, we were planning around this year to get married. Until he lost his job and his car and now he can't find a job. He doesn't have a car to get around, and that's just making him frustrate. He's not the same anymore and i'm just waiting for all this to be over. What can I do to save my relationship and go back to being happy.
2007-03-13 17:38:29 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
don't worry honey, i wish your guy best of luck. Everyone has their ups and downs in life, but we have to learn how to face it. He's going through a tough time and you're the one who should give him all the support he needs.
Trust me it will pay you off in the end. You can tell him that everything will be ok and that this is just a part of life. Delay your wedding a bit till he gets a job and settles down. You can even help him find a new job by browsing websites, or checking the daily newpaper.
Don't worry everything will be fine. I wish you two best of luck!!!
2007-03-13 17:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by faiza_t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, there's not much you can do. Unless of course you know where he can get a job and a car and some renewed ego and self confidence. When a man loses certain things he feels like he's not a whole person (not a man) anymore. As silly as it sounds, it's true.
You can however help him with the confidence. Say nice things to him but don't over do it; don't patronize him about not having a job (unless it's too long of a time), offer to go with him job hunting in your car; offer to type him a resume to get him interested and help him visualize future goals.
But, other that that you'll just have to be patient and let him get over it on his own. Most men don't like to talk about their problems, that's how we as women get over things and move on. And we think that's how men should function too. Men hold in their feelings until they are strong again, only then are they ready to talk about it with us.
Maybe this is the trial you both need to go through to see if your' love will stand the test of time. A blessing in disguise?
My best advice to you is: Be the rock he needs, the unwaviering friend and lover that will always be there for him through thick and thin.
Good luck to you both!
2007-03-13 18:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are finding out early that the real world is not perfect, nor can it ever be made to be. Don't fret, though. This is simply a learning lesson. We all have them.
It is with this experience (and, be assured, there are many more to come) that you will find out what your relationship is made of. WIll you come together as one and morally support him, bolster his confidence in himself and continue to love him as the two of you face the crisis together? Or will you just sit on the sideline, hoping this to be over, leaving him alone to fend for himself?
Marriage takes a lot of work and you WILL have hard times -- times that will try your very souls. You must make up your mind now that the two of you will tackle this and other adversities and will stick with each other no matter what. It is a sobering thought, isn't it?
I am not trying to scare you, here -- I am only being honest, having been through it before. Only when you leave behind the fairy-tale notion and accept the cold, hard facts along with the vows you make to God Himself will you even begin to be prepared for the road ahead of you.
I wish you two good luck.
2007-03-13 18:01:47 · answer #3 · answered by calledkevinalot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a car you can drive him around to get applications, or help him get a ride to do so. You can go along with him to a workforce center or to unemployment. Just be really supportive, encouragement would be helpful. When he does something good then cheer him on, it's called positive reinforcement. A happiness shouldn't be based on $, my boyfriend is a seasonal worker and when he is laid-off he is never rude or grumpy towards me. (what did I have to do with his getting laid-off; nothing) Life is a series of loses and it is how you deal with those loses that make up your life. Anyone would be frustrated in that situation. Just be supportive, that's all you can do.
2007-03-13 17:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by juniper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that he could go back to school or something to learn a new occupation? Certainly tell him you'll help any way you can and stick by him as long as he is trying to help himself. If he's just one of those guys who gives up, maybe you should be thankful that you found out before you married him. He's a grown man. Good luck.
2007-03-13 17:46:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact is that nothing stay the same. as you go thought life
journey, your path will change. just like everything else, but
if you truly love this man then try to be there for him. think about
it if the table were turned and you were the one in the situation how would you feel if he was asking the question.
2007-03-13 17:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the time being, just bear with him. It will be some time when he can put things right again but do stay beside him. He needs your support and encouragement.
2007-03-13 17:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um?????? help him out get off ur lazy behind and help him out a little or let him go and find u a man with some money girl i got somebody for u if u want it
2007-03-13 17:44:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time things cant go together in one day..you two will work it out.
2007-03-13 17:41:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋