Pregnant by the other man???sort off??

Question

Okay i have been married 2 yrs just about and am only 23 / my hubby is 24 so we are both still young.I thought are marriage was great and fine till i caught my hubby cheating with a co-worker 1.3 into our marriage.At the time we were supposed to have been trying for a baby i was heart broken.After this we could not stop fighting so 2 months later he left throwing divorce papers at me .I ran into an old highschool bf while at the bowling ally picking up my little cousin and he was first love as well the whole home run deal.Later i gave him a call and one thing led to another drinking was involved.It happened 2-3 more times before i called it quits needing to get over my emotional issues.To my suprise my hubby came back wanting to work things out.He has since moved back in problem is i just found out i am 3 months pregnant and it cant be his.What can i do i feel awful?

When he came back my hubby told me anything that happened while we seperated was water under the bridge so we never talked about it.I am afraid i destroyed my own marriage!?

Answer 1

The truth will set you free. Tell him exactly what you've told us and he can either take it or leave it. If this isn't acceptable to him, leave him IMMEDIATELY, because this is now no longer about you. It's now all about the welfare of your child.

Answer 2

Ouch! This one is a bad one. Your going to need a lot more counseling than an answer on Yahoo questions can give, but the blogbaba is gonna help. In your case two wrongs will multiply exponentially to potentially destroy much more than your marriage. Like it or not, four people are involved in this one, you, your husband, your baby, and the baby's father.

This is gonna suck, but you have to tell your husband, and the baby's father the truth. You can't get around the pregnancy, and lets face facts, your husband wasn't exactly innocent in all this either. If he loves you, he's going to have to sack up and be a man. If he is like most men, including the blogbaba, your marriage may not survive this, but if it does, you know your "hubby" is in for the long hall. Either way, the real father should know about his baby, and you are morally obligated to make him a part of the little bundle of joy's life.

Congratulations on the child, the little one is the one bright spot in an otherwise terrible situation. I sincerly hope it works out for the best, and if you don't pray regularly, now might not be a bad time to start.

Answer 3

OK 1st of all how do you get "sort of pregnant" by another man? You either are, or you aren't I am afraid.

Anyhow yours is the classic argument for why couples should never try to fix a marriage by turning to someone outside of the marriage.
Getting preggers by another man sure won't help the situation.
If it's any consolation, your husband didn't help the situation by cheating, & then turning around & following up with divorce papers. Sorry if I sound like I'm underplaying your husbands role in this. I totally get that he is the instigator.
While what you did is understandable & maybe even predictable, I am just trying to point out that it will only serve to add fuel to the fire.

This is a tangled mess that can only get unwravelled through serious & intense marriage councelling.

Answer 4

No you didn't destroy your marriage, that is what he did not only when he cheated but when he left too. What were you suppose to do just sit and pick your nose while he is out screwing around? It may be water under the bridge but is also sounds like the baby is not his. So think to your self, when would you rather your husband found out? Now while he is still feeling bad about what happened? When baby is born? Baby is a toddler? You must answer this. Also the babies father? When does he find out?
or you can just wait and do a dna test

Answer 5

See this is what happens when we get so loose with our bodies, but now look at what a few seconds of orgasmic pleasure is going to cost you emotionally and for god knows how long. You are in a real mess. I am assuming the husband returned before the divorce went thru so you have a decision to make. Stay and try an explain how you got pregnant so soon after your marriage ended or leave because you know that your marriage will never be salvageable given your husband I am sure won't want to be the non biological father. My advise.....divorce husband....marry father of your child even though you two hardly know one another and you probably don't love one another but hey......you did that to yourselves. But you need to marry because the one person that shouldn't suffer is the kid you are bringing in to the world. Its certainly not the baby's fault none of you can act responsibly so even though it won't be fun you two need to do the right thing for the kid so that he has a two parent family...Good Luck!

Answer 6

It is very possible that the marriage will end because of this, but it is not all your fault. Your husband owns his part of the guilt in this entire thing. The best thing to do is to tell your husband the truth and go from there. Don't wait until you are 9 months pregnant or after the baby is born. If it's over, it's over. You need to focus on you and this baby. Stress during pregnancy is terrible for you and the baby, so you need to do what has to be done now to ensure a safe pregnancy.

Answer 7

Sounds to me that you are in a awful mess.
You should tell him the truth. If it works out then good. But if not then it wasn't meant to be.

But I think think that if you two do stay together then there will be more problems down the road.

You two will still have trust issues not matter what.

And speaking from past experience it will be a VERY LONG ROAD AHEAD. And this road may never be able to be overcome.

Frankly I feel bad for you. But he left once that should be enough. I'm sure that while he was away he was no saint either.

Boy will be Boys, and Girls will be Girls.

Good Luck.......

Answer 8

I guess you need to tell him now. I wouldn't feel bad about it, though, since you were separated at the time. It's not like he didn't cheat on you. I know that's not exactly the right attitude to have, but I can't help saying it. Think about it before you tell him, though. What is he likely to do? He may demand that you get an abortion or something--are you prepared to tell him where to go? You may need some professional counseling, or you may just have to leave him. I would hate to bring a child into a marriage like that. Good luck.

Answer 9

Be honest with your husband-tell him since he left throwing divorce papers at you, you thought your marriage was over. You ran into an old boyfriend and hooked up, now you are pregnant. If you want to work out your marriage, you have to be honest with both your husband and the baby's father. Good luck.

Answer 10

You are going to have to come clean...don't lie...this would be a bad thing to do...I think, you should see about talking to a counselor...so that you BOTH can get back on the right track..and you can work things out!

Best wishes and dreams to the both of you,,,I hope that you can change your lives....I really do...and make the relationship work again!You also might want to tell the other man...about his child....this would key also!


P.S. whatever you do, please do not "listen" to that jerk on the top part of this advice column...I say, you need to be positive...and do what you need to do for you,and your children...and lastly your relationship! We all make lousy choices, and horrible mistakes...and that's okay...but, if you can just move on, and learn from them,then, this is sooo much better!

Answer 11

Feeling awful would be a normal reaction but both you and your husband need to be more mature in how you treat each other. You need to sit him down at a mellow time and tell him the truth. You need to be in control of your emotions - even if he rants and raves. (Actually, you cant have your emotions control you). You got a lot of stuff going on but its not insurmontable. After whatever plays out, your focus will have to turn to your new baby. Best of luck.