My friend called me tonight and has a delima and asked for my advice. I told her what I thought but my Mother-in -law diagreed with my opinion so now I am not sure if the advice I gave was the best. My friend will be calling me tomorrow to discuss this again before deciding. What would you do in her shoes.
Her cousin-in-law (her husband's first cousin) and her are good friends. I will call my friend Elisabeth and her cousin-in-law Mary to make this easier. Mary calls Elisabeth and tells her in confidence that her husband is using drugs and has become violant latley, Mary asked Elisabeth to keep this private although their families know of her husbands threat of sucide. He placed a gun in his mouth when she attempted to kick him out. Elisabeth calls me very upset about what Mary has told her and is worried for Mary's safty as well as Mary's small child. She did promise to keep Mary's secret but wonders if she should tell her husband since Mary is his cousin. I told her that Mary'
2007-03-13 17:01:30 · 17 answers · asked by Petra 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Mary and her child's saftey is more important than her promise. That she should tell her husband about the abuse.
What would you tell your friend if she asked your advice on this.
2007-03-13 17:03:24 · update #1
Both Elisabeth and I are aware of what Mary needs to do but my question is should Elisabeth tell her husband about his cousin being abused.
2007-03-13 17:12:11 · update #2
Once Elisabeth's husband is told her family will protect her, she has a large, close-knit family.
2007-03-13 17:20:20 · update #3
in this case the secret should not be kept everything should be done to insure that mary and the child are ok try to help but know sometimes its hard to come between a husband and wife even when the wife ask for help.if she contuies to go back and the child is still in danger that's when the family needs to step in and think of the child's well being.getting involved is aways hard and many people can get hurt but it my be the only way to save lives good luck and best wishes to your friends family.
2007-03-14 04:42:39 · answer #1 · answered by superwomen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would agree that the safety of this lady and her child, as well as others, is the primary concern. I would suggest that your friend apologize for making a promise she can't, in good conscience, keep. However, proper steps need to be taken to insure the safety of the victim and her child before authorities are brought in. What can happen in a domestic abuse situation is the police get involved and both the abuser and the victim deny any problems. This obviously makes it incredibly unsafe for the victim once the authorities leave. So, I would recommend your friend help find a safe place for the victim and her child and then the two of them go to the authorities.
2007-03-13 17:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by hutmikttmuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone called to tell me that their husband put a gun to his mouth, I would tell them to do what ever possible to leave the house with the child, maybe by telling him that she needs to go pick up dinner or something-anything that is believable. If she is unable to leave, I would call the police to go over there. Also, if the mother does not take preventive action to protect her child, the authorities may take the child into protective custody. A mother allowing her child around violence, drugs, and a gun- sounds like a CPS case.
2007-03-13 17:19:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
elizabeth should try to talk mary into staying with her for a while, not leading into the fact that she is escaping (that may cause problems with mary and husband) but simply as to spend some time there. if that doesnt work elizabeth should keep in touch daily to make sure everything is ok. if something should happen and mary calls elizabeth, elizabeth should go get mary, out of the house
2007-03-13 17:09:57 · answer #4 · answered by Reece's Piece's 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mary is reaching out to Elizabeth for help. What matters most is the well being and safety of those kids. Elizabeth might want to drive Mary to a local center for Domestic Violence victims. They will know what to do.
2007-03-13 17:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should contact a phsycatrist who specializes on drug addicts and sucide survivors, and try to get him at a calm time when both the child and the wife are safe and make sure he does not have any weapons on him and dont try reasoning with him when he is high, you have to wait till hes ok and give him therapy, lots of it. Act fast b-4 something terrible happens!
2007-03-13 17:10:35 · answer #6 · answered by elizacandle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even a priest or lawyer don't have to keep a confidence if someone's life is in danger. She needs to tell someone. How will your mother-in-law, you and Elisabeth feel if Mary (or God forbid the baby) should be abused or even killed in one of his drugged, violent attacks.
2007-03-13 17:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she needs to get the F outta the house and bring the kid with her. the family needs to get this guy commited for some help before he hurts himself or someone else. and for godsakes, get the guns out of the house with a sucidal father and small child.
2007-03-13 17:09:01 · answer #8 · answered by mcfly_lives 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mary needs to get to a shelter or something because of her husbands drug use he is unstable and no one knows what he might do if he is high or stoned. he might hurt her or their child. if not for her sake for the sake of her child she should get away. not saying that she should divorce her husband but he needs a wake up call. and she needs peace of mind
2007-03-13 17:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by cuRiOuS 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The husband should be removed from the home. He's dangerous to the child and mother.
2007-03-13 17:06:03 · answer #10 · answered by Q.A. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋