married for 5 months and my intimate life w/my husband is not good. we may only be intimate 1 time in the month 3 at the most. before we got married we were not intimate with each other because ofour religious beliefs but now that we are married there should be no reason for us not to be intimate what do i do if anything
2007-03-13 16:53:39 · 16 answers · asked by cuRiOuS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe he is gay and passing for straight.
Even if he is straight, he is not good husband material. He is selfish and self centered. Therapy does not help this kind of problem. Divorce sounds like the answer to me. You might need therapy to help you learn why you chose someone so distant. If you stay you will live a very unhappy life and it is not a good environment to raise children. Run to a lawyer.
2007-03-13 16:59:55 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
We don't know all the details,but here are some impressions I get. #1 Many couples have uneven sex drives...in fact it would be rare to both be the same amount. #2 Not to put down your religious beliefs and discipline until married, but having done so, might mean it is harder for some people to let go. #3 There are stages of marriage. While 5 months is still considered the Honeymoon Stage, there may be circumstances that are putting stress on the relationship. Did you actually have a Honeymoon?...I mean somewhere like a vacation? if $$is an issue for that, save up enough for a small local "vacation"...it will be worth it.
2007-03-14 00:02:10 · answer #2 · answered by Over The Rainbow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, you said you both have strong religious beliefs? I don't know what religion you are but some religions believe that intimacy between husband and wife should be only for procreating. Maybe he is not ready to be a father yet, and thinks if he is intimate with you more often that it is wrong.
2007-03-14 00:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few years from now you'll be glad if he only wants sex once a month. I'm sorry. Seriously, the first thing you should do is have a talk with him about your feelings. Normally this could mean that he's having an affair, or he is gay. Maybe he's just got some misguided ideas. So just talk to him.
2007-03-14 00:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by KIZIAH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that you are married the best lesson a married couple needs to learn to be able to survive is to TALK! Talk about how you feel, leave a note expressing you want more intamicy, maybe he is nervous, or feels he is not pleasuring you, or uncomfortable about the whole sex thing. Talk to him, approach him when he is in a good mood, aske what you can do to make it better for him, just talk it out. All that sex talk should put ya in the mood, but more importantly, this is your life partner, if you can't talk to him, who can you talk to? Good luck.
2007-03-14 00:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by Shyler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good communication here is the key.
If you feel neglected then say "I am feeling neglected here"
It's important to say it that way instead of someting like "YOU are neglecting me", because he can't deny your own feelings.
When you talk with him go to him with only one goal, & that is to be heard. So many of us get into arguments with our spouses & nothing gets resolved because we bring our own expectations to the table.
Once you are satisfied that he has heard what you said & he understands it, then back off & give him time to sort out what he has heard in his own time.
How he reacts should help you to determine what you should do. :-)
2007-03-14 00:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your husband both need to sit down and start talking about this. Because this is an issue that needs to be worked out.
2007-03-13 23:57:16 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the reason for this apathy? Religious belief, ill health or lack of vitality.
2007-03-14 00:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a Muslim I can not help you as your religion doesnt support women's happiness. If you are a non Muslim I strongly suggest you to dump him as you deserve a better life. I am happy you discovered it so early. Dont imagine that you can change your husband. It is a waste of time and energy.
2007-03-14 00:02:38 · answer #9 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
man o man this is a bad one. well you can rent movies.some don't know how to do things .its up to you to tell or show him . that's why the movies may help you 2 out. you can get help on the out side.you have to tell him what you want. or do you both want to let it go.
2007-03-14 00:08:11 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋