My boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years. 4 Months ago he proposed and we were planing on moving overseas. One night we had small argument and he left. The next day he told me he needed space/a break. It has been 5 weeks since then. We have given up the flat and moved into separate houses. He has been giving me mixed messages thru this time. When i have seen him lately he's cried & hugs & Kisses me. he says he doesnt want to be with me right now maybe later but i dont know how much later he means. He says he misses me heaps, still cares about me and needs time to himself. I have told him what i thought our problems were and what i want for us and that it will be different this time. I think his job wasnt helping and since the separation he has changed jobs. I dont understand how he can propose and then seemingly decide overnight that its not going to work. He wants to keep pictures of us and stay in touch. Im so confused and dont know what to think.
2007-03-13 16:46:52 · 9 answers · asked by 1 Angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As soon as the subject of marriage came up he started to realize that it is a very serious move. He should have thought about it before he said anything but probably didn't and he is now wondering if it is what he wants.
Maybe some time will allow him to decide that it is, or maybe he will decide that it isn't.
It is much better to work this out before getting married but that doesn't help you.
You need to also evaluate what you want and whether you are ready for the commitment involved. He has a lot of sorting out to do both with his new job and the decision on your relationship. It is good that he is taking the step seriously and not just getting married because it is the simplest thing to do. I am sure that you would rather be married to someone who is certain of what they want and commited to making it work. All you can do is see if he decides that he is ready.
2007-03-13 17:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by John B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're gonna have to be brutally honest with him. Sit him down and have a serious heart to heart with him. Tell him how you feel about him, how he makes you feel, and where you hope things are going between you. Then ask him if and when he's going to commit to you whole heartedly. If he can't answer; I know this will be hard but give him an ultimatum. Tell him either he tells you when and if you're going to be together or you can't sit around waiting for him no matter how badly you want to. You have to move on with your life instead of waiting for him to decide how your life is going to be played...
and Im sorry to say this but it sounds as thought he's already decided not to; i just think he doesnt know how to let you know. but that just my opinion and could very well be wrong.
2007-03-13 23:57:30 · answer #2 · answered by the_syco_t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My impression is that he's playing games with you and not being completely honest about his reasons for not wanting to work things out with you. At this stage in the relationship, after 5 years of being together, it's too late to take these kinds of breaks from each other and expect to be able to work things out. There is no justifiable reason for him to "take a break" from being with you. Now the trust is broken and you have no real understanding as to why. Whatever his reasons are, he is not being straight with you. Actions speak louder than words. His actions are saying that he doesn't want back in the relationship, for whatever reason. He is using vague words to buffer the blow, or to keep you hanging on "just in case." I think you should consider taking a complete break from him (for at least a few weeks) with no communication with him whatsoever so you can clear your thoughts and figure out what you really want in your life.
2007-03-14 00:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say this but it sound like he does not know what he want, and he just cant be honest and tell you that, but this
back and forth is not good. you deserve better then this
especially since you have been together for 5 years. time
to put the card on the table and handle your business once
and for all.
2007-03-13 23:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the decision to end things once and for all. You need to stop allowing yourself to be strung along.
2007-03-13 23:56:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WEll,You just might have problems, first are you sure he is not just telling you this so that he can play the field and to have you on the side when you are convenient to him ,then again there might just be a darker side like he might not want to tell you he is gay????????????????????
2007-03-13 23:56:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is over. Move on
2007-03-14 00:49:07 · answer #7 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to move on. you're beating a dead horse! this one is done and over.
2007-03-13 23:52:40 · answer #8 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better to forget about him.
2007-03-14 00:46:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋