We were casually shopping and we were waiting in line to purchase our items. I notice suddendly that my boyfriend lit up when he saw the girl in front of us with her boyfriend. They waved hello and they seemed to be in disbelief. Keep in mind he told me who she was after we were walking outside the door. I was in shock due to the fact that I knew I was in front of the girl he fell deeply in love with. Anyway, you would think thats the end of the story. Instead he kept talking about how he couldn't believe he bumped into her for like about 30 minutes. Then he grabbed my hand and told me feel my heart it is beating. I was definitely hurt and crushed, I think he crossed the line. I already told him how I felt, and he says he thought he was being a good honest bf by telling me who she was and that I should understand that some feelings came back but he's not in love with her anymore. Am I taking this out of proportion, or do I have the right to be mad? Should I let it slide?
2007-03-13 16:36:27 · 19 answers · asked by Girlwoman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can easily see how this would get you upset and perhaps confused, however you have to respect his honesty. Unless he has done things to you in the past to worry about his feelings for you, I don't think it's the end of the world. Maybe it just brought him back to another time, but he can still be over it. I can absolutely see where you are coming from though.
2007-03-13 16:41:28 · answer #1 · answered by realnj973 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ouchhhh !!!
I can see how that would hurt.Just keep in mind that men aren't always as smooth as they should be.In my opinion the only thing he did "wrong" was the grabbing your hand and making you feel his heartbeat ..that was a little much !BUT HE WAS HONEST WITH YOU !! That should definitely make up for his lack of "smoothness" .Just remember that they had a shot at making it work and it didn't work out.HE CHOSE YOU ...They have history together ,it won't go away (unfortunately) but it will eventually fade to distant memory.He's yours now smoothness and all lol .You have every right to be hurt ,but please don't throw away what can be a good thing over it .I agree that he may have been a little too verbal after the meeting but your with him for a reason aren't ya ?! Remember why you began seeing him in the first place then ask yourself if THAT was worth throwing it all away !I hope the decision you make is what is best for you .
GOOD LUCK !!!
2007-03-13 16:47:15 · answer #2 · answered by tammie1ca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is all well and good that he was being honest with you, but good lord, asking you to feel how his heart was beating? No wonder you felt hurt! I would be hurt too. However, I honestly do not think that was his intention. I think he was just floored at seeing her (a lot of us get a little astonished at the sight of an ex we haven't seen in ages), and it really doesn't change how he feels about you. He isn't with her anymore. Their time is over, and it is your time now. I would let it slide. If you really feel you need to say something more. Tell him that you appreciate his honesty, and that you felt funny because of the way he went on about things. Tell him you realize he wasn't trying to hurt your feelings, but you kind of want to be the girl who gets his heart beating fast, and it just kind of threw you to hear him talk that way. If you do talk to him, let it go after that. Don't hold it against him, I really think he was just kind of stupid about it without meaning to be hurtful.
2007-03-13 16:43:01 · answer #3 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, look at the whole situation and then take it apart
perhaps it was horribly wrong of him to show you how enthusiastic and happy he was when he seen her
thats just wrong, especially when he took your hand and put it up to his heart so you can feel it beating so fast because he was sooooo happy
you should have broken his finger right at that time
but then again, after he finished talking about her, did he go back to normal, he is still with you
if he is still all happy and bubbly about meeting her then maybe you should break his finger and then leave for a couple of days just so he thinks about it for a little bit
he should have handled the situation with a little more class and considered your feelings a lot more in this situation
2007-03-13 16:49:31 · answer #4 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that you maybe a bit leery if HE HADN'T told you who it was, but that fact that he DID tell you should say something about your relationship with him. He is being honest and forward with you, and you are now resenting it after the fact. Just realise that everyone has a past, and sometimes people are excited to see someone in their past, say a teacher, long lost friend, an ex, classmates, etc. As long as your relationship is solid, and he is being honest and open with you, don't punish him unless you don't want the relationship to grow.
2007-03-13 16:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by lorencehill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's refreshing to hear that two people who share a past can bump into each other with their new bf/gf and seem genuinely happy to see each in a friendly way, acknowledge their feelings, and not dwell on negativity or the past. That he was honest with you is a good thing, not a bad one, and you should feel lucky to have a mature significant other who's comfortable with his feelings instead of complaining about it. Would you've felt better if he DIDN'T tell you that she was his ex, and then you found out later? I think your being silly and self-centered.
2007-03-14 02:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should let it slide, let it go, quit being so dramatic about it b/c he's not with her anymore, he's with you now & that's all that should matter. Yes, it was good for him to be honest about who she was. You need to start being more secure about yourself. You also need to know that it's awkward when you bump into an ex. That's just the way it is. I don't think there's anything personal about it. Who cares if you guys saw them? MOVE ON.
2007-03-13 17:03:09 · answer #7 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why mad? He was being honest with you. Yea, it was not the smartest move on his side since some women can be shallow, but, it sounds like he trusts you.
Would you prefer that he kept his feelings to himself?
besides, a pounding heart should not be mistakening for love or lust.
2007-03-13 17:11:49 · answer #8 · answered by Darwin C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
. sweaty I'm 51 and every time i see one of my exes from 30 years ago my heart beats fast and I know I'm not in love with them . I think its shock because he was with you and he new you would ask . I believe his heart was beating fast because he was afraid of what you would do or say. Just high anxiety.
2007-03-13 16:51:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you don't detect any signs of cheating.. I'd stick with him. puppy love lasts forever. My puppy love is still "in love" with me. We live in the same little town but "He has his and I have mine"... I was a good little girl, but some little trollup threw herself at him and he caught her.. (preggy).. nothing bad between us at all.. He has told me several times that he still loves me.. but.. sigh. ah yes its the Dolly Parton song.. "I Will Always Love You"...
I married a darling man that needs a crazy like myself and I love him so much.
If you find one good man who loves you, you probably will never find another. If you are thinking the early puppy love would have been good to me.. naw.. he became a drinker and womanizer. It would have ended in a divorce long ago and I would have missed "my man".. :)
2007-03-13 16:50:31 · answer #10 · answered by ricketyoldbat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋