Just got married on Valentines day & this is how fun it has been since then…1st we go out with my father & he asked a ugly old lady to show him her b**bs, right in front of me - his excuse, it was the alcohol. The following week he gets drunk tells me that I am a cheater & that I was his big mistake. Just now I found piece of paper in the floor - it was a bank statement with his EX wives name on the account as a "JOINT ACCOUNT", we don't even have an account. Now I could be wrong here, but when I got divorced I went into the bank with all the divorce papers & took my name off the bank accounts, isn't that what u do? He also told me that he had "perfect credit" well we went to get a car loan & his perfect credit is well below 500. He told me that he let his wife because she slept with a co-worker of his, but who filed for divorce? She did & she took him to the cleaners too.Am I stupid if I stay with this guy? I am beginning to think so, what do you guys think? I stay out of love
2007-03-13 16:23:16 · 15 answers · asked by Rosie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He says that he didn't know that his ex was still on the bank account, I have a hard time believing since he gets a statement every month
I am very patient, but I am I a little to patient
2007-03-13 16:24:52 · update #1
We dated for almost 2 years and lived together for 8 months, but we NEVER mixed finances before marriage and it is like we said I do and all this stuff comes out.
2007-03-13 17:00:54 · update #2
do u want me 2 tell u wut u want 2 hear, or the truth??? If he called u a mistake, that is unexcusable, alcohal or not. When ur drunk and mad u say wuts really on ur mind. I dont think ur stupid, just a bit naive and in love...dont let anyone make a fool out of u, or take ur kindness 4granted and take advantage of a good thing. U'll be ok...dont b weak
2007-03-13 16:32:29 · answer #1 · answered by 1hotmama 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand how you feel. Give it some time before you come to any conclusions. However it looks bad from what you are saying and how you are feeling. The apparent unnecessary lies bother me. The fact he can't hold his liquor is another thing entirely.
Be careful and keep your eyes open. Keep your credit file seperate, no joint accounts or cards. Do not enter into any kind of joint financial arrangements until you know what you are dealing with. Marriage is not something you should walk in and out of casually but if this guy's middle name is Irresponsible you may have to walk.
2007-03-13 23:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by Tip Top 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOSER!!! That is him! I would ask him to show me his Divorce papers. If he can't come up with them you may have to find out on your own. You may be married to a Bigot! At least you're smart enough not to have a bank account with him yet! I would go to my local county courthouse, assuming that's where he filed for his divorce, and ask them if they had one on record for him. You may even have to call that bank and see if they can tell you anything. But he doesn't show you some proof of it in a timely manner, I would get away from him and notify the proper authorities. And if it meant him going to jail, so be it. He asked for it by nor being honest with you!
2007-03-13 23:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be awfully young and wanted a man to be with huh? You could call yourself stupid if you want to, but I think it was immature adulthood. Never get marry to a man right away. Make sure you know him at least a year before marrying him!! Some men love to play women. Got to be carefull with yourself or you might end up getting into another worst relationship!!!
2007-03-13 23:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by Theresa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like you got taken to the cleaners sweetheart. From a guys point of veiw this guy is going nowhere but down and you gonna ride that slide straight to the bottom with him if your not careful
2007-03-13 23:32:19 · answer #5 · answered by D B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you are stupid, negligent of not check things out thoroughly, and a totally bad judge of character. Nobody makes 180 degree turns like that.
2007-03-13 23:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not stupid. He deceived you big time, and I believe that he is hiding many things from you.
If I was you I would get a divorce immediately. A man like that can't change, and honestly, I think he still love his ex, he was hurt that she cheated on him, but use you as a form of revenge, sorry about that.
2007-03-13 23:35:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
he should have been more honest with u now that your married, think u married someone u didn't know much about, and finances was one of those important things u needed to find out about. unfortunately it takes alot more than love to make a marriage.
2007-03-14 11:09:42 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My last relationship finally imploded when I started asking pointed questions about finances and suggested a prenuptial (have attourneys look at our finances, etc).
I was sad for a bit. Now I am glad I asked.
2007-03-13 23:31:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he hasn't shared everything about his baggage, then I'd have to say you rushed. I hope he will be forthright with you, or your love might turn to disappointment and pain. Good luck!
2007-03-13 23:30:41 · answer #10 · answered by stormc2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋