i lost my mom november 9, 2005 due to melanoma, a terrible skin cancer. we found out august 16. 2005 that she was diagnosed with cancer. i remember her telling me that she wasnt going to die. but, 3 months later, she did. i watched her die. i was holding her when she died. 5 minutes b4 she died she opened her eyes and looked dead straight. me, my brother, my sister and my dad were at the hospital with her. she told her to go and that everything would be fine. but i still miss her so much. i want to call her. i want to see her for christmas.
sometimes it feels like shes just on vacation!!!
someone help me...am i supposed to feel liek this? even though its been a year and a few months??!?
2007-03-13 16:09:28 · 18 answers · asked by cutiepieee♥ 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I'm very sorry for your loss. It is normal.
Losing your mom has to be the hardest thing to go through. Talk to you other family members about it. I am sure they miss her too. Maybe you can have a small rememberance service for her. Get some pictures and tell stories of your favorite memories.
2007-03-13 16:13:49 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer L 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Leigh,
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 7 years ago to cancer also. I also told my mom it was o.k. to go, she held on for us too. I can tell you from experience that time does heal all wounds. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my mom and when things are really hard I would give anything to hear her voice and feel her hugs. But I do know she is watching over me. I have also found comfort in knowing that she is no longer in pain.
So just hold on and take a day at a time and the sharpness of the pain will slowly fad into a small ache. Just know your mom is at peace and doen't feel pain anymore. I hope this helps.
2007-03-14 07:57:39 · answer #2 · answered by sunflower 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Sweetie, I was so sad to read your post tonight! You sound really sad and I wish I was there to talk to you to help you feel better.
Your feelings are normal. It is really hard to get over the death of someone you loved, and losing a mother must be about the hardest thing. Maybe when you are having those sad feelings you can think instead of some happy memories of your mom, and know that that is how she would want you to think of her. Plus, find someone to talk to - either an aunt or a grandma or maybe the school counselor. You're not alone in this, so you need to let people know how you feel. If you just walk around like everything's okay, then people will think things ARE okay.
2007-03-13 17:48:07 · answer #3 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your describing is VERY normal. Loss is always tough to deal with, and the brain is VERY good at trying to escape from what can hurt it the most. Personally, I would try to find a group session of people that are dealing with loss themselves. Remember that when you go, you don't have to say anything, your logical mind will find comfort in being able to talk about what your subconscious mind is doing to you, even if it is not your experience that is being talked about.
It is hard to go on, and everyone has a different time frame to when they are ready; however, it sounds like your grief is interrupting your daily activities (enough to post on here). I wish you well.
There is information for those that are greiving that could help (specifically the grief cycle), but I think that you should look that up for yourself. The grieving process is well researched, and I think that it would profit you to find out what is available to you.
2007-03-13 16:33:18 · answer #4 · answered by MeepMeep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about the loss of your mother.It is natural to miss your mother.You loved her and feel cheated, your time together cut short through no fault of your own.You are still thinking about things that you shared with your mom in the past. You are also feeling the loss of things you will never do with your mom.Time will help you to cope better and you will find peace in your daily life.It helps to talk to other people who also loved your mom. Everything seems so surreal, like you said,in a dream.There is no correct timeline for grief.If you ever feel overwhelmed by sadness make sure you talk to someone,perhaps your dad or a close friend. Do not be afraid to be happpy, to laugh and to live,Your mom would want you to be happy.Just try your best each day.Take things one day at a time.Although I am older than you,I found it helpful to make a memory book about my parents when they died.
2007-03-13 17:08:23 · answer #5 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A mother is a mother and the memory of her is going to be hard to put in the past. An easy wasy to think of it is that atleast she's not suffering anymore. If you miss her so much just think about all the good times you've had with her and it will seem like shes actually there with you remembering the same thing. Never try to forget because you'll always remember. Just remember good things. Not the bad things like the cancer...Well I hope I helped and good luck.
2007-03-13 16:16:09 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle S 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you will always feel like that. i lost my Dad in 2004 in a car accident. Sometimes i too feel like he is on vacation (it helps). I felt empty but God filled me.I asked a priest if i was ever gonna feel whole again he said no. all i could do was learn to live with it day by day. Some days are good, but some days are bad. I hold on to the fact that life has to go on. the world doesn't stop because we are sad. we have to keep on living and doing the best we can, living until we die. looking forward to the day when we see our love ones again.
2007-03-13 18:53:27 · answer #7 · answered by sunnyside 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you will feel like this. Try to get busier in your life. Use prayer to pray for her. Think about how she is still with you. I had the same experience of being with my mother when she was dying and when she died. I think about her a lot and I know she is with me in spirit. I feel like her words come back to me in many situations when I need them. But no, she's not on vacation.
You will always have your mom with you. She will be the reason you want to do good things - so she would be proud of you. So do those good things and know that she would be.
2007-03-16 08:53:27 · answer #8 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, a year is a relatively short time considering the enormity of your loss. You're a young girl, and she was your mother, the single most important person in your life.
Please accept my condolences. This must be extremely difficult for you, but it sounds as though what you're experiencing is very normal. You'll continue to miss her for a long time. Please try and console yourself best you can by being the kind of person she would have wanted you to be.
Have you considered grief counseling Hon? It may be of some consolation to you, knowing that there are others who are dealing with the same thing. God bless.
2007-03-13 16:37:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God love you. You are still grieving and that takes a long time to go away. You will always miss your Mom but your Mom would want you to continue living life to the fullest. Maybe you could buy a special journal and write letters to your mom in them. This way you could feel as if she was sharing your experiences. Know that your Mom is still with you always. God Bless
2007-03-13 16:17:11 · answer #10 · answered by capegirlal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋