Why am I weird for helping others?

Question

Seriously, I'm getting fed up with people. I'm the type of guy who will walk over to a lonley person sitting on a bench and give him/her a friend to talk to. I'm the type of person who will hang out with the "weird" people, because I think that they're just ordinary people like the rest of us. Then, you know, I invite one of those "weird" people to come out and hang with me and some of my other friends, who aren't considered "weird". The result is me getting ditched because those other friends of mine don't want to, God forbid, be seen or be with one of the "weirdos".

What happened to all the nice people in the world? Evberybody's always just preying on their fellow man just to better themselves. It's pretty ridiculous if you ask me, and it's not something that can be changed. Nobody can make another person think a certain way, so society will just continue to be corrupted and unjust day by day. We're all equal my ***.

Answer 1

I concur. It's pretty deplorable what our society has amounted to these days. Yet, at the same time, we still have a lot to be grateful for. There are a lot of negatives, but there are also positives.

I think for your case if you just explained to your friends more of where you are coming from, maybe they'd understand. Like, were you lonely growing up? Can you relate to the people you lend a hand to, and that's why it makes you feel so good, and maybe even obliged, to help them? If so, tell your other friends about your situations growing up. Maybe it could be that you were once considered a "weirdo", and you could use that against your judgemental friends. For example, you could say, "Well, I was once very abnormal and had no friends. But now you're friends with me, and you don't think I'm weird at all. Why should those people be any different?" I didn' mean that to sound harmful, by the way. I have no idea what kind of friends you had in your past or if you were considered abnormal. I was just providing an example should it be the case that you can relate to those types of people, whom you apparently like to reach out to and befriend.

You're a good guy, Man. Keep it up. Don't worry about the ******* who can't see the soul behind the face.

Answer 2

So long as you aren't developing co-dependent tendencies, there's nothing wrong with your rather refreshing view on life. It's only unhealthy if it's the only way your life has meaning as an individual -- through making others happy, but from what you've said here, this doesn't seem to be the case. :)

Your friends haven't had the experience to see life through your eyes. Try to cut them a little slack and explain why being inclusive is important to you and why you think being exclusive is harmful to our communities, our nations and our world. They may not get it right away, but if you keep setting a positive example, you're bound to rub off on at least some of them.

And while I HATE proselytizing, here I go -- you may want to check out your local Unitarian Universalist church. You are likely to find plenty of like minded people (or at least people willing to work on getting to where you are -- with varying levels of success). It's a very liberal faith tradition that has primarily Christian and Jewish roots, but finds wisdom in several different faith tradition including Islam, Buddhism, Taoism and science. The beliefs of UUs range from liberal Christians to Religious Humanists (a form of Atheism). UUs frequently work on issues of social justice and community building that emphasizes the free search for individual truths and inclusiveness.

Answer 3

I understand where you are coming from. It is a shame that people judge others so easily. You sound like a really well rounded person and that you are the type who can make a difference. Despite what others say or do- you know who is RIGHT in their ways. Please know that all will own up one day for how they lived their lifeand you will be blessed! Continue to be the kind person you are- find real friends and tell the others to get *#%$ed!

Answer 4

I applaude you for being kind to people who might otherwise not have anyone to share their day with. Your friends are shallow and only care about themselves. You are a blessing to all who are more unfortunate than you are. Your friends who think you are weird and don't want to be seen with one of the less fortunate people on earth are losing out on an experience in life that could give them much joy in helping another human being, and God's blessings for doing so.

Answer 5

I know what you are saying. The natural man is an enemy to himself and to others because we have this innate want to be liked. Hence, we want to be around others we perceive as being socially acceptable. Many people are simply scared they will be seen as "weird" by association. If you ask me, too many people care about what others think. You aren't going to take everyone with you when you die, but your deeds will always be with you.

Answer 6

Well, I'm assuming you're in high school. Good for you- you haven't fallen into the trap of high school. You don't seem like you'll stereotype or mock people or change yourself just to raise your reputation.

But we ARE all equal, whether you like it or not. You are not better than your friends just because you are more open-minded than them. I assure you, they are kinder than you are in at least one area.

And honestly, do you really think judging those who judge others is going to get you anywhere?

Answer 7

I would say that if your friends are more concerned about their "image" than spending time with you, getting to know new, interesting people, and not hurting people's feelings, they are not worth being friends with.