divorce is not a option for me
2007-03-13 15:46:05 · 26 answers · asked by missy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
try to put it out your mind or you'll lose it and he's not worth worrying about what you can't change i think a husband should make a choice and tell you who he wants his wife or whore so his wife can move on with out hope he'll come back
2007-03-13 15:53:42 · answer #1 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is up to you. There is no formula approach. If you do want to save your marriage and you dont want your husband to cheat on you then you have some work ahead of you and it will take time to change things. If you are both concerned about it that is.. if he doesnt even care what you think, you will probably have a hard time saving your marriage. If it happened to me (and I hope it never does) I would confront him and really make him know how much it has upset me, Id give him the usual spiel saying its not going to be allowed and etc etc.. basically I would be saying I will leave you if you ever do it again, but that is just me, I would not accept some kind of open marriage. I wouldnt want to share my husband with some other woman.. marriage to me is a partnership which you have agreed to work on the rest of your life.. that means every single aspect of it.. friendship, shared projects, personal growth, communication, sex.. everything. If he cheats he is breaking his commitment so why would you bother?.. There is simply no excuse.
2007-03-13 22:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by dorcas_3210 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Missy,
Do you know how long he has been doing this, who the woman is? Is he going to stop? Did he tell you or did you find out? Does he want to stay with you? We kinda need more information. I don't know if you are a religious person but if you are... I would contact my Bishop, Pastor or Preacher. I would try to answer the above questions as well. If it was a mistake on his part and he is sorry and you trust that he won't do it again I think you can get help to work it out. Your religious leader can offer or provide you both counseling. Adultery is such an ugly, ugly thing. It can rob you of everything. Keep your chin up. You can work through this if you are both together and support each other. It is a hard thing to forget and a hard thing to forgive. The hardest is regaining the trust back when your self esteem just was sold for a cheap thrill. I'm sorry. I would suggest counseling and lots of prayer.
2007-03-13 22:56:30 · answer #3 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get some counseling. You need to feel good about yourself.
Keep busy. Doe's he know that you know? Do you have children? You say divorce is not an option for you. How about
living alone? I wouldn't want to be with someone who was cheating on me. I guess people do make mistakes, but it would be really hard for me. Maybe if he knows that you know he will
shape up and stop his nonsense. You need to be happy in your life, and find things to make you happy. Now is a good time to
rely on good friends. It's important to have someone you trust
to talk to. Take care & good luck.
2007-03-13 23:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by judywalker23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Figure out why he was cheating. Figure out if he's willing to work on your marriage with you or if he's just going to continue his behaviour. If you can't get divorced you may just have to put up with his ways. Make sure when you two are intimate you use protection. Or, refuse to sleep with him because you don't know where he's been. If he is willing to work on it and stop cheating, I think there is still hope in your marriage. Some people cheat because they feel they're missing something. If you are able to help him fill that void maybe he won't feel the need to cheat (I am NOT blaming you).
2007-03-13 22:54:37 · answer #5 · answered by 1978girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make yourself happy...
Do not be self-destructive like most women are.
Control your emotion, find ways to find yourself...
Since divorce is not an option, stop sleeping with him, make friends, socialize and be happy about yourself...
If he has cheated once, you should forgive him & accept him & if he is constantly cheating, he is a loser & he doesnt respect you nor your feelings ...not even a bit.
Leave him, move out... get emotional support..be strong.
2007-03-13 23:42:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
normally i would say one should find another husband that wil not cheat
but since divorce is not an option then what can i tell you, you just have to sit there and smile and take him cheating on you and not complain about it
2007-03-13 23:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak with your spouse. Seek counseling. I prefer Christian counselers, but whatever is good for you. You both need to mend and restore your marriage.
God does say that divorce is allowed when adultry has happened in a marriage. But restoring your marriage will be better. I totally agree with God.
My husband and I do agree that divorce is not the answer period. So I am glad you chose to restore your love for eachother. I hope he wants to do this and does ask for your forgiveness becasuse he broke the vow he made to you.
So sorry this happened, but goodluck and restore your marriage!
2007-03-13 22:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by Momma Bear 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should follow him and make it a point to find out who the person is and then go to her home or place of work and confront her. Ask her what the hell does she think she's doing with a married man who happens to be your husband. And then if she denies it tell her you know it to be true and make her know in no uncertain terms that if she doesn't cease and desist immediately you will make her life hell and then do it if it means finding out who her relatives are and then telling them what she is doing and if she is employed call her supervisor and tell them she is having an affair with a married man, your husband.
do anything you can to stop it now or it will escalate.
Tell your husband in no uncertain terms that you are totally disappointed and ashamed of his behavior and you expect him to act like a family man and stop being ridiculous, then tell his relatives what he is doing. Make his life hell until he stops. Maybe even make him think you are having an affair even if you're not.
2007-03-13 23:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is always an option....
You can try to work it out in therapy, try to forgive him(if he's sorry), but it may come down to divorce....
2007-03-13 22:55:33 · answer #10 · answered by Linnygirl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like Bubbles' ideas so very much! Invite the Cheatah! Make her run around the house living a week with all of ye in the house to see how romantic it all is!
2007-03-13 22:55:31 · answer #11 · answered by joulsey 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋