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Not Them Again! Division
Fluff Fieldhouse, Las Vegas
Paris Hilton (1st seed) vs. Nicole Richie (16th seed) - The top-seeded party girl and hotel heiress will likely trounce her partner in crime and reality TV series co-star. A high-scoring game is expected, and both are likely to get into foul trouble early on. Only one thing's for sure: It'll be hot.
Anna Nicole Smith (2nd seed) vs. Lisa Marie Nowak (15th seed) - Remaining such a high seed even after her death shows Anna has staying power - and much more of it than her opponent, who, despite the rigors of astronaut training and the level of commitment she showed in her 900-mile trek, has quickly faded from public view. Still, anyone can win in this tournament. As Anna Nicole can attest, where there's a will, there's a way - even if your name's not in it (the will, that is).
Britney Spears (3rd seed) vs. Jessica Simpson (14th seed) - Pre-tournament head-shaving saw Britney catapult in the seedings and her multiple rehab attempts all but ensure she will have more than enough momentum to handle Jessica.
Antonella Barba (4th seed) vs. Paula Abdul (13th seed) - It's wanna-be versus has-been, and Antonella, ousted from the American Idol competition last week, is still slightly favored because of her recent, shall we say, exposure. She may have revealed too much of her game plan too early, though and Paula - straight up now - still has some moves.
Ryan Seacrest (5th seed) vs. Billy Bush (12th seed) - These two teams look very much alike on paper, and in real life, too. Both have a talent for ... for ... "hosting," but look for the American Idol moderator to slip past President Bush's first cousin, who co-hosts Access Hollywood and Grease: You're the One that I Want!
Jared the Subway Guy (8th seed) vs. GEICO Lizard (9th seed) - Slimmed down, but not-so-smooth-talking Jared has the weight advantage, but the insurance company lizard is a slick one, and may prove to be too bloody fast for the Subway spokesman.
Talking Head Division
Inside the Beltway Arena, Washington, D.C.
Robert Novak (1st seed) vs. Newt Gingrich (16th seed) - He may have helped to "out" CIA operative Valerie Plame, but he's not flaming out. Top-seeded Bobbie "The Bulldog" Novak, despite some troubles this season, is supremely confident, as usual, as he goes up against "Nothing But" Newt Gingrich, who recently admitted that he was having an extramarital affair even as he pursued Bill Clinton on "Monicagate." Bobbie reportedly has some secrets up his sleeve that, come tourney time, he just might disclose.
James Carville (2nd seed) vs. Al Sharpton (15th seed) - The decibel level is expected to hit the roof during this one, and that's not even counting the fans.
Ann Coulter (6th seed) vs. Tony Snow (11th seed) - The right-wing pundit with locks of gold, a heart of steel and an acid tongue would really rather face a Democrat in her first-round match. Still, she's determined to chew up anyone who gets in her way, including Tony, the White House spokesman with a record of being cool under pressure.
Tucker Carlson (8th seed) vs. Chris Matthews (9th seed) - Fleet of mouth, but not of foot, the bow-tied preppie who co-hosted CNN's Crossfire may be too klutzy (based on his first-round elimination in last season's Dancing with the Stars) to move on to the second round. Chris, the mouthy host of MSNBC's Hardball, will use his usual full-court press in a game that is sure to be filled with interruptions.
Can't Seem to Shut Up Division
Babylon Pavilion, N.Y.
Donald Trump (1st seed) vs. Regis Philbin (16th seed) - Who wants to beat a millionaire? Regis does. But without Kelly Ripa by his side (she barely missed getting into the tournament), he's not likely to give The Donald much trouble.
Nancy Grace (5th seed) vs. the Verizon "Can You Hear Me Now" Guy (12th seed) - In his time, there was no one more annoying than the Verizon guy - not even the "let's execute the suspect now and ask questions later" host of CNN's Nancy Grace Investigates. But Verizon guy takes a back seat in the new Verizon ads, and, if there's any justice, Nancy's relentless Southern-fried nagging should have it locked up.
Rachael Ray (7th seed) vs. Katie Couric (10th seed) - In this battle of network perkies, Katie, whose switch from NBC's Today show to CBS news anchor made headlines, has her hands full. Rachael, the young Food Network phenom, is intent on showing she can do more than cook 30-minute meals. And she's got spunk, too. Lots of spunk. Maybe a little too much spunk. This one could be a real pressure-cooker.
Martha Stewart (4th seed) vs. Scott Donahoo (13th seed) - Like oil and water, these two aren't expected to mix well. Martha might be ready to go back to the big house (and we don't mean the one in the Hamptons) to get away from the in-your-face Baltimore auto dealer whose wacky TV ads are akin to assault with a deadly weapon.
Rosie O'Donnell (3rd seed) vs. Oprah Winfrey (14th seed) - Nobody is as all over the court as Oprah, but Rosie may prove to be the more irksome, especially after her recent round of trash-talking with Donald Trump. There's nothing she'd like better than to lock scowls with him in the elite eight, if both make it that far.
Way, Way Overexposed Division
Hollywood Celebritorium, Los Angeles
Peyton Manning (1st seed) vs. Barbaro (16th seed) - Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro's tragic Preakness accident, drawn-out attempt to recover and subsequent death were accompanied by what some saw as too much publicity. Leave it to the ubiquitous Peyton Manning - Super Bowl-winning Indianapolis Colts quarterback who shills for MasterCard, Sprint, Gatorade and Reebok, among others - to beat a dead horse.
Simon Cowell (2nd seed) vs. Howard Stern (15th seed) - Simon has the offensive power to go all the way, but Howard's no slouch either.
Mel Gibson (3rd seed) vs. Tom Cruise (14th seed) - It has been a banner past year for both, and when the Christian with a temper goes up against the couch-jumping Scientologist, expect passion to be in the air. Will Mel be Cruise-ified, or will it be risky business for Tom?
Michael Jackson (8th seed) vs. O.J. Simpson (9th seed) - Longtime legends and perennial favorites, Michael, who was not convicted of molesting children, and O.J., who was not convicted of murdering his wife, put on the gloves, or glove (or try to), in a first-round thriller that, unfortunately, only one can win. Expect Michael to beat it, and O.J. to either win, or, if not, at least offer an explanation of how he would have.
2007-03-13 23:29:15
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answer #8
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answered by starlight_shadowz 2
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