I need some help. The only thing is i don't want to tell anyone I want help. I have someone I want to talk to but I don't want my mom to find out because I don't want her to get upset. I just can't talk to my mom about what is going on. I can talk to this other person and not have a problome with it. My mom was so hurt last time I talked to the other person and not her. My mom says she loves this other person to death and she admires her but i know my mom thinks i like her better. One time when I told this other person something and my mom found out my mom cried and said "how can you like her better than me? did i do something to make myou hate me" i don't want to do that to my mom but i can't explain this to my mom it is to complicating. HELP ANYONE what should i do?
2007-03-13 15:44:54 · 7 answers · asked by heritagedancer_333 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have recently gone through this drama- I was the person trusted to be confided in, & the child's mother, thinking there was a competition going on for the child's affections, got amazingly stroppy, resentful, bitter, twisted & quite unjustifiably nasty- even though my advice was aimed at bringing mother & daughter closer together...
so, in light of that, I still believe YOU have the Right
to talk to anyone about your problem/s, to seek their advice, & it is YOUR Right to listen to that advice, take it on board or refuse to accept it.
your mom needs to understand there are some things, some times, YOU need to say to other people - not always her...
& she should not be jealous of that- because TALKING is a human need in all of us, & providing we are careful about WHO we are asking for advice, that is a far healthier thing to do, rather than bottle up our feelings / worries.
Quite rightly, your mom wants to protect you from BAD advice, so having asked for opinions re: what you should do, you could always protect yourself, by TACTFULLY checking what you've been told with your mom.
If things get all (unncecessarily) complicated cos your mom goes off on one, blowing her top hysterically... which can happen, but hopefully wont if you handle her right, then find a mediator via your school / college / local young people's advisory service i.e. someone who can talk to your mum to calm her down so she is more reasonable.
Well done lassie for being brave enough to discuss what's bothering you!
2007-03-15 06:06:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could tell you mom straight forwardly that you have something you need to run by this other person and you want someone outside of the immediate family. Now if your mom is the drama queen that she sounds like, then go with plan 2.
Plan 2 is to talk with the other person and tell this other person to keep it quiet as it would upset your mom to know you asked anyone but her.
A third option is to give mom a watered down version of the dilemma (she need not have all the details) and seek her advice and tell her up front before she gives it that you'd also like to include this other person since you know your mom and you both respect her opinion. Let mom know you came to her first since you wanted to here her advice and that you also value an opinion of someone outside the family (or outside the immediate family if that's the case) and let mom know that you read somewhere that there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors (it's in the Bible). You can even let mom know that you'd like this other opinion IF it's okay with mom, but do that only if you are confident mom will not torpedo the deal and tell you that Mom's advice ought to be good enough and if you are pretty sure mom won't storm off insulted that you would even seek another opinion.
Hope it goes well. I think I like the third option, but you know your mom best. Hope the ideas help.
2007-03-13 16:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by georgiagolfer72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mums feeling insecure... her baby has set his sights on another woman... and is as far as shes concerned going to lose you...
all mums are like this to one degree or another. its perfectly natural, she worries about you.. and she has NO control... and for the majority of mums, thats a big no no...
buy her some flowers, and give her a hug.. and point out youre growing up, getting older, and want to get out there, and have a life... before you get called up and sent to afghanistan.... well, youre obviously american...
you wont break mums heart... but if you dont tell her how you feel, then it;ll become resentment, esp if this other person gets fed up of waiting...
this is part of growing up and being a man... deal with it... everyone has to..
unless youre both girls... in which case, the same rules apply... you want a life, go for it. follow your desires, and your heart...
good luck
2007-03-13 16:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell someone! No one can offer you any assistance if they don't know that you need it.
I can understand that you have your reasons for not telling you mom, but eventually you owe it to her to tell her what is going on.
PS I am available email me, maybe I will even let you call. Sounds like whatever it is you are having some problems....
2007-03-14 08:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey!!
Just think about it very carefully it is so obvious your mum loves you 2 bits!!! She wants to be there for you not anyone else! Because you are her lovely girl!!! At least someone cares for you just dont you forget that hun!!! You shouldn't keep things bottle up eventually your going to explode like me, you need to let it out hun...I hope this has helped!
Sweety XxX
2007-03-14 10:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by Sweety_gyal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You grow up and get a life.
By the way, tell your mom to do the same.
2007-03-13 16:00:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk to your mon. she obviously wants to be there for you. good luck.
2007-03-13 15:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by viva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋