When a child steals, does anyone know the psychological reasons a child feels like he needs to steal?

Question

I have a student who cannot keep his hands off everyone else's property and when he gets caught and I take it away, it gets worse. I'm trying to understand what factors play into him stealing...child abuse? neglect? Someone please help give me perspective

Answer 1

Almost all children will steal if they think they won't be caught. And some don't care if they get caught so possibly that doesn't even count as stealing, just brazen taking.
But it's mostly their training or experience at home (if they have one) that determines their attitude towards the chances of getting caught, and part of this determination involves the potential punishment and the degree of its certainty. It also involves how much self-respect they have, and how being caught will affect that image.
And most importantly, its how often they have been allowed to get away with stealing, and how good they may have become at not getting caught that tips the balance.

So perhaps in this case, as in most, it's not the need to steal as much as the habit of getting away with it, and even the pleasure at pulling it off that is the determining factor.
Your suspicion of child abuse is possible but not probable - although the type of training that allows this habit to develop could be seen as a form of abuse.
And when you take it away, it gets worse because taking it away wasn't really punishment, and just makes him try harder to succeed at what has been a successful avocation up to now.
The kid could be a budding psychopath, which cannot be cured by therapy or counseling. Fear of immediate consequences that involve more than just taking away his "loot" is all that's going to make him reform, and that reform may be only while he's in your class.

Answer 2

I had sticky fingers when I was a young child (I admit it). I did it because my parents put such a huge emphasis on money and not being able to buy the things I *thought* I wanted. Granted I was 4-5 and didn't understand the stealing part of it...but I remember it having to do with the way my parents would talk about things and somehow thinking this was the way to get it.

But I honestly think every child has "stolen" at one point or another in life. Whether it be the pennies from Mom's purse or candy at the store....it's how we all ultimately learn our lesson.

Answer 3

Maybe he doesn't have anything of his own at home? Maybe someone there or someone who comes over, is doing the same thing to him. I believe kids repeat or mimmik the things they hear and see. No kid just uses the word ***k, or ***t, but a lot of them end up saying things like that, right?

So I would tend to think the same thing about his actions. Just like children of child abuse, grow up to be child abusers themselves, maybe someone is taking his things or taking his words, thoughts & responsibilities (overbearing mother or father, snatching something out of his hand because he's not doing it right/fast enough, etc-get it?)

Kids-and adults, for the most part, want to be good and recognized and praised for doing good deeds. But if all they know is; negative attention is better than no attention, then you've got a problem kid on your hands who just wants attention, but doesn't know how to get it in a 'good' way.

I hope you understand where Im coming from-good luck and I hope Ive shed some light from a different perspective.

Answer 4

Does he take useless objects?
This is often attention seeking behavior, and I see it most in children when the parents basically ignore them (sometimes to the point of neglect). The child wants ANY attention, even negative. If so, maybe there is a way to fill this need more constructively...
I should add if he's taking food and such and eating it, he may not be being fed properly, another sign of neglect.

Answer 5

Maybe he is craving attention--bad attention is still attention.

Maybe his parents cannot afford to get him what the other students have.

I wouldn't be so fast to think that the child is abused or neglected - some kids think this stuff up all by themselves. I would be more likely to think that things have been stolen from him by other kids, in the past--that would explain a lot.

Answer 6

i stole things as a child and tried to cover it up with lies. I learned my lesson early on in life though. I stole because i didn't feel worth anything at home. my stepmother was abusive and neglectful and always called me stupid and weird. I didn't have an ounce of self esteem in me..
Stealing other peoples things allowed me to have "cool stuff" which I could show off to the other kids.. When I did, I felt such acceptance and I thrived on that. It kept getting worse until i started shoplifting in the 5th grade at the convenience store next to the school. I never realized that the kids generally liked me for who I was.. But later, all the popular kids knew that I would steal so they started having me steal stuff for them or else i couldn't be part of their group. .. I was so caught up in the circle that I didn't realize that these kids were using me... I finally broke out of it, when the teacher (whom I adored and looked up to with a great deal of respect) caught me stealing a dollar out of his desk drawer. It wasn't his dollar, it was a dollar that some other kid found on the floor that I figured could rightfully be mine by stealing it..
anyhow, I got detention and I begged for him to not tell my stepmother in fear of the abuse that I would get.. He never told my family and I never stole again after that.. He showed me that people aren't bad, we just make bad choices. If it wasn't for him, i'd probably be still stuck in a circle of crime and not have any respect for the law. I thank him and show him my appreciation by living an honest and good life and by being a role model for others!

Answer 7

The child is asking for a great attention. Stealing is just his way, cause even if caught several times, he keeps on doing it over and over again. Maybe, you can talk to child, directly or indirectly, and know what he really needs.

Answer 8

I think that neglected /abused kids steal because on some level they understand that they have been stolen from and ripped off emotionally.
Good luck

Answer 9

There are many possible reasons

1. he doens't understand what steals mean. why can't he just take it away? and when you angry with the child, 2 possible reaction will come, it's either not to steal again, or he steals again to tell you this is how he is, so what can you do?


2. from single family....lack of love....or having abuse problems.........


no, try to look at what is behind, not just his behavior....

Answer 10

I used to steal a lot cause my parents just didn't have money to feed me or get me stuff, so I needed to get it myself. I never got caught and actually got really good at it, but I kinda regret it. Maybe the child was raised with the feeling that if he wants something he needs to get it himself.