I met a man, for the first time after more than 2 years of separation.
Now, my ex, father of my 2 children, is trying to ruin my love life.
- He called the cops (in front of the children) on me because I rode on a skidoo with the children - we wore helmets and were riding very safely, slowly and for 3 minutes.
- Then, he stopped taking our younger son because he said he (our son) said he'd rather spend time with "X" (my new boyfriend) and he wants me to help him (ex) bonding with our son.
- Since I met this man, he won't pay any child support at all.
- He insists I call when I need to talk to him. I never need to talk to him but in case of emergency - like if the school is closed or else. (I still use emails but he said he blocked me)... and it goes on and on....
Bottom line, I might stop seeing this new man because it's getting too complicated for all reasons I have mentionned above and other reasons.
For the future, how can I protect myself from my ex's?
2007-03-13 15:32:01 · 11 answers · asked by Shaana 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't stop dating the guy just because of my ex; what did the cops say, surely they laughed at him, there is no law that says you can't take your kids on a skidoo; take him to court for not paying child support.....get your mom or friend to pick the kids up if school is closed (mention the blocking of emails when you go to court) or just have the school call him.........stop dating this guy and he's won and he will do it over and over again,
2007-03-13 15:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since it's quite obvious, he's acting like a child, treat him as such. First try talking to him. In the most simplistic words you can find, Tell him that this is what happens after divorce....people pick themselves up and move on. Tell him what lasting effects he's going to leave on his children by acting this way towards them. Reassure him that HE is there dad and nobody is taking his place, nor do you want anyone to. Then tell him that you would like to remain civil for the sake of the children, but there are limits as to what you are going to put up with.
And I wish I could wave a magic wand and make him change, but honey, sometimes people take the ex's new relationship hard, especially when there are children involved. From the way you make it sound, you have placement. That alone is hard for anyone to be away from their children. Throw in your new relationship and to him, he's just been bumped another level off that ladder. Because he doesn't like it, he's acting out. And because he can't get to you, he's making the children his next target...because he knows that WILL get to you. If you are beyond words, sit down and write it all out. Use specific examples, but don't be critical....I know that may be easier said than done, but this is the father of your children honey and what he's doing now is only hurting your children. Be the bigger person and suck it up. Ignore his bad behavior and encourage his relationship with the kids. As far as ending your current relationship? Don't. Not if you are happy. I understand the doing what is best for your children, but if this guy treats them well, treats you well, and things are working out....don't let the ex ruin that. Otherwise, he'll be pulling this everytime something new changes in your life that he doesn't like. He'll settle down and get back to reality once he realizes these tactics of his aren't working. And if he doesn't...it's his loss. I'm sure you have wonderful children that he is missing out on. Then just pray some day he'll wake up.
2007-03-13 23:15:10 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, and i thought things were bad with baby mama drama
but somehow the man you are no longer with seems to still have control over your life and you allow it
you are about to dump your boyfriend because of your ex
if your ex does not want to pay child support, then you take him to court and have it taken out of his check, if he quits so that you can't take it out then have a bench warrant drawn up for his arrest
seing as he has to pay child support then i can safely assume you have custody, if he does not want to pick up his kids then thats fine, who cares if he picks them up or not, he still has to pay
if he calls the cops on you for whatever reason, if you felt that you were not really endangering the children, then when the cops get there, claim that he hit you and he is harrasing you and have them arrest him for asault / harrasment / stalking / filing false police reports
if he annoys you and calls you alot or whatever then file a restraining order against him
if you have to call him for any kind of emergency pertaining to the kids then call him, do not email him or text him, just call and tell him what is going on and thats it
if he blocked your email then thats fine, who cares about his email
if he starts getting all goofy about things and starts making some wierd and strange demands then take him to court for harrasment and thats it
read and understand your divorce documents
read and understand your custody and visitation documents
they are there to help you
2007-03-13 23:39:41 · answer #3 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is jealous of u and your new love and will keep doing things till u give up and have no one again. u need to contact the child support and tell them he is not paying, u need to stop talking to your ex, distance from him. restraining order would work, if he is doing all this harassing. he is doing it so u will end it with the new man, don't do it, don't let him ruin your future, and run the show. u are the captain of your own ship.
2007-03-13 23:02:03 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation or divorced from your husband? If just separated file for divorce - it's obviously time!! He's sounds like a 2 year old child stopping his feet because he's not getting any attention - make it clear that you are not going to let him run your life!! He's just trying to manipulate you into getting his way.
2007-03-13 22:40:30 · answer #5 · answered by ms_debbieg 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your ex is harrasing you it is possible to get a court order restraining him and the courts will also force him to pay child support.
If he breaks the restraining order you can have him arrested.
Do not let anybody control your life in this way.
2007-03-13 23:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by John B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like the guy don't stop seeing him. You are only letting your ex "win". Take him to court over child support and anything else that is inconsistent with the decree.
2007-03-13 22:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
and your ex will succeed ruining your life - cause you are letting him. like the others have said - get a order against him to leave you and your new love alone, and of course he would be entitled to see his kids only when the order states and pref. not at your home for him to pick them up.
2007-03-13 23:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely not, you can't stop seeing this guy you have and let your ex get his way! that's ridiculous! you need to call your lawyer about the child support issue and re write the custody agreement if he's gonna be a jackass.
2007-03-13 22:36:16 · answer #9 · answered by Danielle 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
too many young girls think they have to have a love life.
just do whatever
2007-03-13 22:45:14 · answer #10 · answered by sadlonelylife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋