What to do when you can't take anymore?

Question

I just don't know what to do anymore my boyfriend and I are not getting along anymore (after 8 years), heres the problem, he needs me to live with him, he got sick a few years ago and had to relearn to walk and talk and now has seizures and doesn't have anyone else (we also have 3 kids) I just want to cry all the time, dr put me on meds, didn't work I feel like i am going to explode any words of advice would be helpful how can i make this better we talk and talk and talk and nothing gets any better EVER my kids need me how am i supposed to keep it together i have been so strong for so long and now i feel like i am crashing PLEASE HELP

For those of you that keep giving me flack about living together and not being married please stop, I am caring for his children NOT MINE and we dated for 5 years before we moved in together and I moved in with him to take care of him not to live "in sin" please get off that subject it doesnt make me feel any better, I know this isn't the best situation but I am trying my hardest to do what is best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Sounds like there are lots of things going on and its all looking too hard. You might think this is dumb but you are really needed here, you have your partner and your three children who all need you and need you to keep it together. Its a lot of responsibility so you need to get help for yourself to help you keep strong and focussed. You will be ok in fact I am not sure why you are doubting yourself so much. You must be a pretty tough woman to handle everything that has already happened.. be proud of yourself! There is one thing you should be thankful for and that is that you can talk to your man. Even if you never get anywhere, that is such a good thing because it means you listen to each other, you do love each other and want to work it out. I wish I could tell you how to feel happier and better about the situation, all I can say is you need to try to look at it differently and see the positives. Dont worry about being on meds but be careful of relying on them to make you happy. And be really careful if they are not working, you might need to change what you take or get off them altogether.
You could get a carer to help with your partner if he is not mobile and you could get a family support worker or something to help you with the daily stuff. Can you join a mothers group nearby to get you mixing with other families? What about trying to organise some regular family outings even if its just out for a meal every week or for a walk.
You WILL be OK. When things settle down you might find you are ready to go back to work again but geez, dont be hard on yourself if you are not up to it yet.
Hang in there you have so much to look forward to.

Answer 2

MTV could desire to be renamed RTV : certainty television. They stopped enjoying video clips for good around 2003 (when I graduated extreme college). yet, previous MTV is the perfect! that's the place I observed the bands that could replace my existence continually. And, I omit Riki Rachtman on Headbanger's Ball, a hundred and twenty minutes, Kurt and Courtney Day, Video Countdowns... They was cool. Then, MTV2 got here out. They performed video clips for a jointly as, to get human beings to purchase the channel, then they positioned on the comparable textile that universal MTV had! They further Headbanger's Ball decrease back (the only ingredient the channel's achieved perfect in approximately 15 years). yet, i'm no longer a universal viewer. I watch VH1 classic for all my music desires.

Answer 3

This is why I firmly believe in marriage vs. living together. When you decide to have a family together it should be a complete commitment swearing before each other, your friends, family, and God that it is for better or worse. You now don't feel that commitment when he is at his worse because the promise was never made. The only commitment you have is that you decided to have children together and play house all these years without that firm commitment to hold onto. You need to make a decision now as to whether you follow through on finishing the life you started together or go your separate ways. You have no legal obligation so no court can find you accountable, but you are facing an emotional obligation that you both decided you would make. this cannot be answered in this forum. It needs to be answered in your heart and none of us knows what you have going on in there.

Answer 4

It is hard to advise you. Since you have had children but never married. You see, married means (or should mean) that you are not just dedicated to each other but dedicated to the marriage. In other words, I don't know if you have a vested interest in making this work for the benefit of the children or not. Married is for better or worse, sickness and health. You don' t seem to be that intersted in any of that.

All I can recommend is to do what is best for your children.

Answer 5

make substantial changes related to your daily routine that include things that you always wanted to do prior to the bad times in your relationship.

a caregiver and parent must keep themselves in good space in order to love others. self-love.

take 30 minutes of your day for strict " me time"

keep a journal and measure outcomes of "me time" see if resolutions are found to your ambivalence about change.

begin with a basic belief that you can successfully complete the change process.

without a sense of self-efficacy regarding change, you are likely to use defense mechanisms such as rationalization or denial in order to protect from emotional pain.

think, change, do.

never give up, I am sure you are a wonderful loving, caring human being.

Love yourself and then love others.

All will be fine.

Life is for living. Happiness must be brought into your life.

Ill humor is like a sick stomach, sometimes you need to sit and eat other things to make it go away. Eat what you want and what makes you healthy.

Mind food.

peace

Answer 6

You just need a little attitude adjustment. Start thinking more positive. You're not happy because you choose not to be happy. Happiness is a choice! The meds didn't work because you aren't addressing your problems. Meds just don't take the pain away. Your life could be a lot worse! Relationships have their rough patches, this is unfortunate that your boyfriend got sick, but everyone else is trying to adjust too! You'll be fine! Quit being so negative and see what happens!

Answer 7

It appears that you moved in out of pity and that pity is most of what still remains. He got sick and you fealt close enough and concerned enough to move in and help him through the problems. You now understand that what you are getting from this relationship is only more problems with no sign of a solution.
The brutal fact is that you don't owe him anything. You have given a lot to try to help through jis problems and have run out of energy to give more when he needs it.
I think it is probably time to start thinking about living your life rather than just living his.

Answer 8

What you need is some time by yourself once in awhile to take care of yourself. You have to find friends and/or family to come in and be with your boyfriend so you can get out for the day, the evening a weekend; with 3 children and a husband who needs your attention to are drained and need some time every week for yourself.

Answer 9

Takeing care of a loved one is hard. I know but I had a famile to lend a hand... If his insurance will cover it contact your country medicial services and see if you can get someone out to say with him so you and the kids can get out for a few hours several times a month. will take a lot of the stress off you

Answer 10

YOU NEED A BREAK ASAP. If you could get someone to come over watch the kids and your boyfriend for a couple of hours just to get out and relax it would help. Your under a tremondous amount of stress and no wonder u want to explode. You need alone time. You are giving all your energy to everyone else and there is no time for u.