Tips to stop us getting tempted to have sex?

Question

My fiancé and I will be getting married next summer. We are both Catholic and want to try to be better ones. We both want to stop having sex but are finding it very very difficult having already 'been there'.

Does anybody have any tips to keep temptation at bay, and more importantly, for us to not be so frustrated and annoyed because we can't do it and help us focus on the positives?

Serious answers please.

Masturbation is not an option-I said I was Catholic!

Just because we've already done it doesn't mean we can't be good Catholics again...it isn't the 'I've waited' I want but the fact that I want us to be really close to God when we get married.

It's next summer because my fiancé will have graduated from university then.

The point I am trying to make is: I want to make a CLEAN START-forgetting what has gone on in the past. That is what confession is for. Surely it is better that I keep trying than give in?

Oral sex isn't an option-it's still sexual activity.

I can't give blood by the way-not allowed.

Answer 1

There is no magic here. You talk to each other about how important this decision is. It shows a real commitment to each other and your religious faith. Put it to each other this way. It is a test to see how you would be in marriage as far as keeping promises. You and your fiance ask each other if we got married and during our marriage(due to accident or medical reasons) I could no longer satisfy your sexual needs would you stop loving me and leave? Then decide this will test that promise. If you really want to prove it you will learn to take cold showers and remain committed to keeping that promise.

Answer 2

Masturbation is not an option-I said I was Catholic!
Hmmm....okay then....but you should not have had sex then right? Which is the bigger of the two evils? Anyways....what about mutual Masturbation...I mean if you feel God will forgive you for the real thing the mutual Masturbation should be a cake walk. I hate to be such a A ss but if you were so strong in your believes then you would not have had sex UNTIL you were married so your being a "Good Catholic" Really has nothing to do with this question. It does how ever have to do with....Gee I am horny but I want our wedding night to be special. So....keep doing what you are doing....two weeks before wedding you BOTH stop having ANY sex at all....INCLUDING Masturbation....then wedding night will be great.....and I am sure that God will understand. After all you feel he will forgive you for having sex before you where married already.....and he is a Loving and forgiving god.

Answer 3

Keep in mind that all sins are equal!

So you telling a little white lie is the same as getting it on....you know what I mean?

First you have to focus not only on sex, but on every aspect of your daily life. You can't just stop having sex and then become "good"; you have to live a consistently clean lifestyle (keeping a check on the language you use, what you consume, {alcohol, cigs, too much chocolate}, how you treat others, your thoughts), and then you will become not only a good catholic, but also a good person. If you are really serious about not having sex, then don't put yourself in a situation where it could happen.

Answer 4

First off, revenge sex / sex with your ex is a horrible idea. Not to mention looks terrible on you. It's a cold-hearted thing to do, and unless that's the kind of person you are, I'd recommend not doing it. Second, why do you hate him for dating someone a week later? Granted, that is a little sudden, but for one, that's not your problem. Two, maybe he's trying to get over you. Didn't think about that, did you? Considering the length of time you two were together, maybe the easiest way for him to let go is spend time with other people where his mind won't be focused on you. Dating someone would certainly help with that. Quite honestly you seem a lot more in the wrong than he is with your attitude. Maybe you should think about that.

Answer 5

You are trying to be something you are not. You are trying to be non-human and the fact is you are human. My suggestion is to move the wedding date to next week if possible. You are going to ruin what might could be a very successful marriage by playing with mother nature. If you and him can stop right now and not think about sex anymore then great. But other wise you need to get over being perfect Catholics and realize you are only human.

Answer 6

You have to love good old Catholic guilt. You make choices and you live with them. I really believe God is to busy to care if you have sex or not. If you want to be a better Catholic give more time to the Church and people who need help. Give blood. Read to a child. Say a prayer for someone sick. Or better yet bring them a bowl of soup and your time. If you still feel the need to abstain...... keep your pants on.

Answer 7

Why are you waiting so long to get married? Why not get married in the nest few months? An engagement is supposed to only be for the length of time it takes to get ready to be married. That can be on e week, or 6 months, etc. If you really want to wait till nest summer to get married, please do as the others have suggested, always have someone with you "chaperoned". Or be in public places when the two of you are together. You could even, if you both have your own cars, arrange to meet for your time together (dinner date), and go home right after in your own cars. If you can, though, please see about getting married sooner, rather than later. Take care.

Answer 8

Simple, you have to want to wait to stop having sex. It's a choice. It's obviously a decision that the two of you have taken very lightly. If you are serious about this, you need to act on it rather than make false promises. If you want to be a better Catholic, then you will stop.

Answer 9

If you are a sporty someone physical exercise helps when you feel the urge for it. It will also help to keep you in shape till your wedding day and God knows how it will be when you finally get to it with all that waiting and good health

Answer 10

No sex for over a year??? Wow, that's gonna be tough. (easy for me....I haven't had sex in almost 8 years....lol)
I would suggest you two try NOT to spend any time with each other where you may be tempted......try to stay in the company of others. If you are both sexual people, I would suggest you both master the art of masturbation until after you are married.