Going out for 8 years, You found out your bf has been using escort service for a year by looking through his e-mail and website and credit cards, it's legit. But because you as a gf invaded his privacy. Would you keep quiet and take it as the past as long as you work on the relationship now so he will not think of going to escort. Which is possible to accomplish. Or would you confront and risk exposing the untrust of both side and is calling an end to the relationship for sure because either will trust the other ever again.
advice?
2007-03-13 14:17:18 · 19 answers · asked by Confused 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes we are still having sex
2007-03-13 14:33:21 · update #1
I suspected something in August 2006, Then notice something again in November.. Not thought about it until now where I found alot of evidence and it trace back as far as may 2006.
2007-03-13 14:38:07 · update #2
I can forgive him but can never forget and will remember and think of all those girls he had and is thinking of having that he isn't having. He will also think about me knowing that I know and wonder if i'm still thinking about those girls
2007-03-13 14:43:18 · update #3
I'm turning 26 and he's turning 27, we are not financial independent for marriage
2007-03-13 14:44:29 · update #4
we were our first in everything
2007-03-13 14:44:58 · update #5
the reason I think he went for escort was no strings attach bj and sex because i was busy and tired and didn't furfill his needs.
But I can't believe he went and took care of it and still with me and expect me to never find out and him hiding it from me and butting me in harm
2007-03-13 14:46:22 · update #6
isn't sex part of love?
I think I can love a person and not have sex or have sex as extra, but it seems to him love is sex, no sex no love. But when i provide more sex I feel empty because I want emotional love, he wants that too. But we both aren't provide that emotional love and use sex as a easy way out to show that love.
2007-03-13 14:48:49 · update #7
Let the skeletons remain where they r.
2007-03-13 17:05:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really is doing that, then there are other things to catch that do not involve revealing your snooping. Instead of either taking a "all or none" attitude... do some more digging.
Because you deserve to get the truth out there. But you also want to control the situation. Do not give him a chance to put it back on you, like you were the bad guy. Bear with it a bit and look for the other signs that have to be there. Catch him another way.
Then you have proof that will give you leeway to leave out the other evidence all together.
2007-03-13 14:22:23 · answer #2 · answered by christiechritter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok,check this out;I knew a couple who had a similar situation-but instead of solving it by deciding to leave,the wife went out and screwed an old b/f that the husband was once friends with!They're still together-even after a divorce that almost went through and over two decades of infidelity and domestic violence on BOTH sides-still together and as miserable as ever-neither one being able to forgive the other for the ******' past.
Honestly,you have to ask yourself if you can forgive him and there are far worse things than breakng up after eight years...draw your own conclusions.
2007-03-13 14:39:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No amount of wrong can correct a wrong. You can cover it, alright. But a relationship founded on deceit or cheating will never go a long way. Stop the relationship, for it has no right direction. Correct me if I am wrong, but I have the impression that you mistakenly took sex as love.
2007-03-13 14:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by september 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would show him the proof and ask why. If the relationship is strong then maybe both of you could work something out. The next option would be to give some very straight forward hints that if you ever find out he is cheating he is going to suffer dearly.Make your concerns known. If he is worth keeping then he will clean his act up.
2007-03-13 14:28:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You found out something you "weren't meant to" that cannot be left hang. I think you need to ask him why he was doing that. If you are in so mellow and self-protective a mode that you do not have to ask this week or this month or even this year, you will one day NEED to know it. Bank on it. I must confess, I wonder why a guy would do something that stupid. makes no sense.
You need to confront. Take the consequences.
2007-03-13 14:22:45 · answer #6 · answered by Flubbadub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in a relationship without marriage...Never have kids out of wedlock..
Get a good Pre-Nup to protect both in case of death or divorce.
Never marry a man with personality or character problems, they
will just get worse after marriage and you cannot fix them.
No problem with confronting him about it...
Time to break up and move on...
2007-03-13 15:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you confront him!!!? I hope you're not having sex with him. Do you have any clue how many STD's you or your bf could have? Confront him for Christ's sake! Why not? I think you're trying to avoid a breakup, but why? This guy is a slime bag! Gross! I'd be visiting the doctor if I was you.
2007-03-13 14:30:07 · answer #8 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it with all you women going into your boyfriend's private stuff? I can't believe how many of you are posting this same information this week.
Do you have absolute proof that he has been cheating on you? So far all you are talking about is paper.
You'll need to decide how important he is to you. Do you own property together? Banking account together? I would check on those, too, if you're worried about his secret life.
Personally, I'd close out everything and move. But that's me.
2007-03-13 14:22:43 · answer #9 · answered by Blue 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
2 wrongs, don't make a right. You need to be the better person. Being that your not married, you have 2 choices, you can either dump him, or seek counceling for the 2 of you together. Because he can change, but he has to be willing to change.
2007-03-13 14:28:29 · answer #10 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him know I know because he is putting you at risk. You need to go get checked out. Regardless if the relationship ends or not, you need to think about your well being. Screw him! He's no good for you if he feels he has to sleep with strangers!
2007-03-13 14:25:58 · answer #11 · answered by Mrs. Hester 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋