I'm in a role reversal marriage. My husband stays home and is a househusband. I am an attorney and go to work. He's running with the cooking and cleaning and for the most part I am happy. As an attorney, I'm trying to make partner and putting in 60 to 70 hour weeks. What do you think a fair percentage of the housework on his end should be? Right now he is doing about 90%. I think its fair and he hasn't complained - Yet other people think I am not doing enough. Thanks in advance...
2007-03-13 13:22:04 · 27 answers · asked by Claudia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think it's fair. i was a housewife almost all of my life.
THAT IS HIS JOB!!! to do the cooking, cleaning, dishes..... all of it!!! i did. and i didn't complain.
2007-03-13 13:27:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone else tell you that they don't think that you are doing enough. If you work 60-70 hours a week and your husband is a househusband and he is not complaining about the amount of work he does around the house then don't worry about it as long as the 2 of you are happy then don't worry about anything. I think that it is good if he is doing the cooking and cleaning while you are at work. You will not find many men out there that will do it even if they are not working.
2007-03-13 20:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by butterflybaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't believe your asking this. First ask yourself, how much housework would he expect you to do, if the shoe were on the other foot? If he had a job,I'd say go ahead and spilt it, and if both of you put in 60-70 hour weeks, no one is really getting it dirty anyway, and save your cleaning as a joint effort on your day off. As for those "other people" are they also married to you ? If not , ask yourself another question, " Do I live my life for me and my loved ones, or for other people ? If you can't truthfully answer that, don't bother trying to become partner. I'm not trying to be rude, so don't think I am, I want to see people use common sense, it seems it should be called "uncommon sense" with most people. I do hope I was helpful in some way, and I want to wish you well in your endevors.
2007-03-13 20:41:28 · answer #3 · answered by Diverdown13 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should be picking up after yourself daily. Helping out on weekends with housework, laundry and cooking. If you have children, you should help with them when you get home. Don't expect him to wait on you.
I don't think there is a fair percentage, I think you should both do as much as you can. Obviously you are not there during the day, but you can help a little when you are. Picking up after yourself is very helpful.
2007-03-13 20:37:58 · answer #4 · answered by QT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We can't judge, only the two of you know your circumstances, and have to come to an agreement.
I just know when my husband is working and putting in 70 hour weeks, he still does at LEASE 20 per cent of the housework/chores - and will do more if I ask him, or if circumstances warrant it (I have health problems, and sometimes can't do things like shopping or going up and down the stairs doing laundry - and he will do it willingly.)
2007-03-14 08:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's working for the two of you, then don't worry about what others think.
I suppose one way you could sort it our for yourself though is to think, if the roles were switched, and you were the stay at home Mommy, how much would you feel you should be doing?
Of course, taking care of kids is a huge responsibility, but you have your job on top of being a Mom, and you could just look at it as he has his job of cleaning, on top of being a Dad.
2007-03-13 20:33:29 · answer #6 · answered by anne33khan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well put yourself in his position, what amount would you be doing if the roles we reversed???? If he is only too happy to do 90% then let him at least you go home to home cooked meals, washed clothes, mopped floors, basically a clean home everyday. Dont worry bout what other people think, they are jealous cause they havent got a hubby like yours. consider yourself very lucky
2007-03-13 20:27:49 · answer #7 · answered by boonoora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The amount of work either of you do is entirely up to you both to decide. It is no one else's business what percentage that is or whether it is fair or not. If he is happy and you are too, isn't that all that matters? If you have doubts about the arrangement, talk to your husband and reaffirm what each of you wants. When someone else decides to voice their negative opinion about the situation, reply with, "I didn't see you standing between my husband and I at our wedding and I didn't hear the preacher asking you to commit to any involvement to our promises as man and wife!"
2007-03-13 20:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you are being generous doing 10% in light of your push to achieve Partner level. I hope that you guys are truly splitting up the housework so you get to do that 10% which he hates or that you love. Keep it where it is.
2007-03-13 20:34:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should be responsible for all of it!!! Trust me, if he was the bread winner and you were the homemaker you would be taking care of all the household things. You are putting in a lot of hours at your job and trying to make partner which will be a major career boost for you plus more money for your family. The people that say you are not doing enough at home are idiots!
2007-03-13 20:28:54 · answer #10 · answered by KoKo.Licious 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you are both happy with the situation then leave it as is.....but it always help if the working partner will get a few things done to give the other a break from time to time.....such as when I cook, my husband will get the dishes, and vise versa. Just don't take him for granted for what he is doing, always try to help out from time to time
2007-03-13 20:37:47 · answer #11 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋