We were best friends before, now it seems like there is big distance between us, we don't fight, but we don't talk like we use to, we become more secretive although we never cheated on each other, it's been 7 years that we together, how do we start getting back to beingf close again?
2007-03-13 13:01:44 · 11 answers · asked by happydial 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
EXCELLENT QUESTION! THERE ARE MANY WAYS, AS LONG AS YOU BOTH ARE STILL IN "LOVE" AND HAVE THE "TRUST" YOU HAD WHEN YOU FIRST MET. WELL, TRY GOING AWAY TOGETHER JUST YOU AND HIM EVEN IF ITS JUST FOR A WEEKEND. OR RENT A REALLY GOOD MOVIE ORDER A PIZZA AND RELAX TOGETHER.. MAYBE TAKE A NICE LONG DRIVE AND JUST TALK, TALK ABOUT FUN THINGS YOU USE TO DO, THINGS YOU AND HIM ENJOYED WHEN YOU FIRST MET. REMIND HIM OF THE FUN AND LOVE YOU SHARED WHEN YOU FIRST MET. AS LONG AS YOU GUYS DON'T FIGHT, YOU HAVE A GREAT CHANCE OF BRINGING THE SPARK BACK INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP. AS TIME GOES ON IN A RELATIONSHIP THINGS CHANGE, YOU MIGHT FEEL LIKE YOU BOTH HAVE GROWN APART, BUT ITS VERY NORMAL. WHEN YOU BECOME COMFORTABLE IN A RELATIONSHIP IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S A BIG DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU BOTH, BUT THAT MIGHT NOT BE IT. WE GET SET IN OUR WAYS. I'M MARRIED 6 YRS AND WE ARE KIND OF DISTANT, BUT WE LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH. WE JUST SEEM TO NEVER HAVE TIME TO BE TOGETHER LIKE WE USE TO, BECAUSE OF OUR SCHEDULES. BUT RECENTLY WE MADE THE TIME, AND WENT AWAY FOR A WEEKEND. IT WAS AWESOME, IT WAS LIKE WE FIRST MET..LOL ITS ALL GOOD.. JUST TRY DIFFERENT THINGS, AND FIND MORE TIME TO SPEND TOGETHER. GOOD LUCK HUN KATHY
2007-03-13 14:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by kathy p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't start talking about your "problems" all the time. That just kills intimacy if it goes on too long. The key is to plan something together (and start small). It could be anything that interests both of you: redecorating the house, changing things in the yard, going on a short vacation without the kids along, going to a free concert. You gotta keep growing. If you two can tap into a new common interest, there's all sorts of new stuff to talk about. And once you start talking....
meanwhile, get back in shape with a new workout routine and maybe a diet, take care of your appearance, improve your manners and attitude. Become a better, more interesting person.
2007-03-13 20:11:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try communicating with each other and talking and doing things together again. Be loving and try dating here and there as well. Do things like you did when you were first together and be the most loving person you can be and start all over again from scratch. Think of new and fun things to do together as well. You may also need marriage counseling and help as well. Sometimes you can grow apart because of life itself but make each other a priority and your marriage at the top of your list and you will see an improvement and change over time... Good luck and I sure hope things start to get better soon.
2007-03-13 20:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though the romantic ways have been forgotten. Try to bring some of that back into the marriage. You can get to a point of taking each other for granted and that is where many marriages begin to fall apart. The communication usually starts to disappear when that magic spark begins to fade. It is from the lack of trying to surprise one another like you did while dating. It's easy to relight if you want to make the effort. Try doing something really wild to shake that man up. All it takes is a creative mind and once you get the door open show him what you both have been letting slide away.
2007-03-13 20:13:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start talking again....have a conversation like you used to.
Bring up a happy moment you guys once enjoy talking about.
Spend time together and have fun. Take a vacation.
Let him know how much you love him because maybe he think you dont feel the same way since you guys barely open up anymore or maybe your feelings changed. So let him now whatsup and good luck.
2007-03-13 20:05:57 · answer #5 · answered by honeyy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes alot of hard work. You both need to sit down and discuss the issues that are bothering you, calmly. And try to work to resolve these issues. Rebuilding honesty & trust in a marriage after those have been broken are VERY hard to rebuild. But if you have the right attitude about it, it can be done. My wife and I almost divorced because of trust and honesty issues, also because I had become very selfish. But we were both able to change, and we have worked very hard to resolve those issues. It's not easy, but it can be done.
I would recomed going to marriage counceling, because that can really help alot.
I wish you the best.
2007-03-13 20:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys should start "dating" again,like go out to eat atleast once a week.At the restraunt you choose,be open with each oter,shar with each other the hardships/good things that happened in you're day.
2007-03-13 20:07:28 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it has to start now,.. and someone needs to start,.. so why dont you initiate conversation. keep in mind that there is nothing more that a woman wants than a man who will just listen.
Take your lover to dinner. share a kiss,.. nothing brings people closer than true love,.. some people never experience. waik up each morning and remember that you are one of the lucky few,...
2007-03-13 20:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try and remember what it was in the first place that got you two together and why you are best friends, open up more to him (ideas that is) - or is the 7 yr itch coming up????? try to find the same interests that you both had to be compatible.
2007-03-13 20:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by boonoora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on my experiences of not only myself, but everyone around me, you don't. Sorry. Counseling usually delays the inevitable. Good luck!
2007-03-13 20:07:39 · answer #10 · answered by dil7827 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋