Should I get a divorce?

Question

My husband has lied to me and I don't know if I can trust him. We have been married for 6 months now and he is in the Army. We were seeing eachother on and off for a year and he kept playing games with my head and sleeping with other woman. The other day I was looking at our cell phone bills and found out that he had been talking to his ex-girlfriend from the time he was stationed in California until the time I came here. I felt horrible, he lied to me. When I confronted him about it, at first he lied and then he told the truth. I told him that I have had trust issues and he told me that he has changed and that he loves me, but after that I don't know. HELP!

Answer 1

He was playing games with your head and you married him anyway ????? Did you think he was going to suddenly change because you got married ? The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior and he has shown his true colors.....he lies to you and he sleeps with other women. And you, my dear, are taking it. You are showing him that you are willing to let him treat you with this jaw-dropping disrespect and stay married to him. You need to set the bar higher and let him reach it or not. Go to the nearest Army post Legal Office and find out when they do Legal Assistance. Most Army Posts have fulltime legal assistance officers....lawyers who job it is to provide legal assistance and advice. (They can't represent you, but they can give you a clear overview of your rights. Take a pad of paper and take notes.) Take control of your life and your marriage - there is nothing in the world that requires you to endure this abuse. Get a job, move out, and tell him you are filing for divorce. With only six months, this may be a simple matter. He can either shape up and prove his mettle by courting you all over again and allowing his behavior to be examined in counseling together (the Army Post may well have marital counseling available through the Chapel - give them a call,) or he can sign the papers and you can start a new life. A life that you deserve because you deserve better than this.

Answer 2

Trust is a very tough thing to lose. But I can tell you from experience that it can be re-established. You married this guy, so there must be something good in the relationship. I know it will be hard, with him in the Army, but wait it out. Talk with him, not at him. Let him know how you feel when he lies to you. Do not attack him, educated him. Tell him what you want out of the relationship, the honesty, the trust, the passion, the companionship, the laughter and the great sex. He may not really know how you feel and what you expect. Be true to yourself. Ask yourself what it is that you want and be honest about it. Are you using these phone calls as an excuse to get out of an obligation that you went into without a lot of thought? Are you just now realizing that maybe you jumped into marriage with out thinking that he was going to be gone? Talk to him. Talk to yourself. Communicate. Way the positives and the negatives. Divorce is not the only answer. There is counseling, compromises and communication. Try those first. Good Luck

Answer 3

I have been married to my husband for 7 years(he's military, too). About three and a half years ago I found out through looking through his cell phone bill that he was talking to his ex-girlfriend. I also found some other stuff out and he lied about some of it until I told him that I'd seen the bill. I gave him another chance thinking he wouldn't betray me again. PLEASE go to my profile and see what I am going through right now and see what my giving him a second chance has gotten me. I never would have thought he would betray me the first time and surely not again after he begged me not to leave him, but yet here we are again only it's alot worse now.

Answer 4

Hear the little voice inside your head? LISTEN! You have two choices. 1) Let him see your behind walking out the door or 2) Give him a second chance. The second chance is a one time deal and if he breaks it, out you go with no look back. I feel that he is yanking your chain, I mean why did you marry him when he plays head games? He has had someone on the side for what seems your whole relationship. Seems to me you deserve better, someone who puts you first and will keep his love at home. Trust me there are men out there that do this. Good luck with your decision.

Answer 5

You knew how he was before you got married to him and you still chose to marry him. But you know what I've been there and all women have, just step back and look at your situation and make the decision for yourself and don't let know one tell you what to do or how to feel. Only you can make that decision for you.

Answer 6

sweetie...you need to get a life of your own outside of your husband who is in the army. if it is an issue of trust then you need to re-evaluate your marriage to him. do you want to live the rest of your life like this? then do something about it. for me...any sign of cheating (no matter how new the marriage is) is automatic grounds for divorce. he has made his choice and now you have to make yours. you can sit there and be misreable or you can do something about it and be happy.

Answer 7

Why on earth would you marry someone who couldn't even be faithful while you were dating??? You don't know if you can trust him? I know. The answer is no, you can't trust him. Please tell me you don't have any children with him! You made a mistake. Don't make it worse by prolonging it. Get out.

Answer 8

sounds like an AJ - army jerk - thats what we call them down under. let him have his ex let him play mind games with her, you dont deserve it, no body does. move on besides he tells lies so therefore he cant be trusted and get a DIVORCE

Answer 9

And you married him for what reason? Once a liar aways a liar don't walk run to the divorce attorney

Answer 10

Get a divorce and move on to a happy life!