It has been a year since me and Husband had an affair?

Question

I had cheated on my boyfriend that is now my husband. But when we got married I had stopped missing around but about 2 weeks into my marriage he had an affair for about almost a year and made a baby.Me and my husband has 2 boys together and my daughter that he has brought up since she was 6 months. I had decided to be with him because we both made a misstake. And I love him but it feels like after an year I should have almost healed up by now. But it feels like it just happen it hurts that much. He is paying child surport but he is not seeing the baby. I don't now how I feel anymore. What should I do should I follow my mind or my heart. My mind tells me to move on because I deserve to be with somebody that has me and only me on their mind or follow my heart that tells me to be with him and take my vowels to heart and work it out.

Answer 1

No offense but this is the kind of problem you should go on Jerry Springer for.

Answer 2

Geesh.......your husband had an affair two weeks after being married. WOW that is not a way to start a happy ever after with each other
It sounds like the two of you have troubles keeping your zippers up. WHY bother getting married if there will not be any faithfulness.
You have been faithful through the marriage , he hasn't.
And geesh.,,,,,think about this....how many babies will he be supporting eventually. How many time will you let him hurt you and destroy the trust that should be between two people

Sounds like you are in a place where being faithful doesn't mean much. Scary. Move on. Choose a higher evolultled man. Or learn to live on your own. It is better for a kid to be from a broken home, than to live in a home that is broke.

And you need to raise your standards in guys.

Answer 3

As they say two wrongs don't make a right although you were not married when you had your affair it still showed little concern for the future of your marriage. Now why did he do it?.......was it some sort of revenge or was it because he wasn't getting what he needed at home? Downside for your husband is two fold first his affair was for almost a year and because of it he had a child which also means he wasn't using protection and that's nothing but irresponsible. You might consider marriage counseling and always follow your heart

Answer 4

If you still love him and want the marriage to work, tell him how you feel and GET SOME MARRIAGE COUNSELING! It will help you work through those feelings, it will help him to understand how you feel and what you two put each other through. FYI - sooner or later he might want to be a part of that other child's life and he has every right to. Do not come between him and his other child just because you are jealous of the other woman. That wouldn't be fair to the child or to your husband. Also, the child might want to know his/her father and come looking for him. It would be so much easier emotionally for your husband and the child, if they were to get to know each other NOW instead of later, when that child will have very hurt feelings towards a father that wasn't there.

Answer 5

I think you need to decide wether you can accept that both of you made mistakes and move on with your lives. If you realise you can't do that then be fair to each other and leave. I don't think it's worth throwing a marriage away for, especially if it's the only thing that is causing problems in your marriage. I think you should have a realistic think about just what you want from your marriage and your future and make a decision based on what you come up with.

Answer 6

I would leave the man if he married me and had a child by somebody else. You can find somebody better than that. Some men think it's okay to commit adultery once they do they never end up stopping. Go out and think about you and the children instead of that man. Like the old people use to say, "there is more fish in the sea out there".

Answer 7

Well you cheated on him, Im sure he didnt feel healed after 2 weeks after your cheating ended.You both need to realize you have done things to hurt one another.Maybe it was to try to control the other by jealousy?Either way seeing your kids are the ones paying the rpice, either forgive one another and get counseling or stay single until your kids are grown.Get in church, it can help.It wont mean GOD is going to change either of you "for the other person", or that yor troubles will magically disappear, but GOD will help you both to see yourselves as HE sees you and help you both to change to become good decent human beings HE is proud of.I like the united pentecostal church.

Answer 8

because there is a child involved it isn't ever going to be over with. so it looks as if u both cheated on the other, and as a result theres a child he is going to want to see one day. also he is paying child support, which is taking from your family, that is never easy, think theres going to be resentments for many years to come. you probably won't get over this unless u know that he knows how much this has affected and hurt you, have u and him ever sat down and really talked about this? not many do.

Answer 9

Well, they way you said it is that you cheated first. You were asking for trouble, sorry..!! I don't no why you can dish it out but you can't take it. Time to grow up, and carry on, you have 2 kids together. Get over it. Move on. For every second that you are sad, you will lose 1 minute of happiness. For your family sake, work it out..

Answer 10

i do no longer necessarilly agree that once a cheater continuously a cheater. have you ever asked him why he cheated?? Its no longer all approximately looks. possibly something on your courting is lacking, i'm no longer via any potential agreeing that cheating is nice, i'm only asserting that it in lots of cases has underlying motives like no longer being satisfied on your cutting-edge courting. try counselling, communicate, communicate and communicate some extra. loss of communique is a significant poison to a courting. in case you come across after attempting each little thing you are able to think of of you nonetheless can not forgive him then for the sake of the the two certainly one of you i might end it. good success.

Answer 11

I take it you guys got married strictly for financial dependence on one another and I'm gathering by the way you write that aint much.
Lady, you know what kind of relationship you have, it's a white trash, trailer park, ghetto asss relationship. I'm afraid even if you left the animal, you'd find another Harley Biker to shack up with.

Good Luck with that.