I need a man's perspective on a miscarriage?

Question

My b/f recently broke up with me. We didn't have a fight or anything. He told me he still had feelings for the girl that carried his daughter. His daughter's b-day would have been this month. He told me that he had to try with her one more time to know for sure nothing could ever be between them. We live together and are very much in love. We never fight and he's my best friend. We were best friends before we got together. He sounds very confused. He still tells me he loves me and treats me the same as he did when we were together. We live together and he wants to continue living together. He told me that he wished we had a kid together, and that he wished he didn't have to leave me. He told me he was doing this for his daughter. I tried to explain to him that nothing could ever bring her back. We became very close when my cousin was murdered in October. I don't know how I could have made it through that without him. Is this just depression- do you think he'll come back

Answer 1

I hope I can answer your question.

I take it that his daughter was not yet born. It can really be heart wrenching know that your prodgeny didn't have the chance to live. You can preoccupy your mind with "what if's" and "could have been's". You think that this unborn person was your future and it was taken from you.

Sounds like he's dealing with guilt of not being there when the miscarriage happened. (My similar experience, I found out after the fact.) This is probably why he wants to go back to the mother and leave you. Too bad he does not see his future is with you.

Until he recovers from his mourning, and realizes how insensitive he is being toward you; he won't see that future with you. It may be better for you and him to part, and carry on with your separate lives. Don't let him persuade you that you need to carry his child until he is commited to you and you alone.

All the Best. You may contact me directly if you more insight.

Answer 2

I am not a guy but I feel compelled to answer. It sounds like an excuse to me, you are right nothing willbring back his daughter. He sounds like a man with some guilt. Has he ever told you the circumstances around the miscarriage? I b know it will be hard, but maybe you should move on. A real man would never have to use a miscarriage as an excuse to leave. I am sorry that things are hard for you now, but maybe things will get better. If you are not ready for kids, then dont let a man guilt trip you into it, it kinda sounds that way to. Good Luck!

Answer 3

I didn't even bother to read all of that. If he was still talking to and ex while he was with you, then you were just a rebound. He used you.

But before you get all sad about that, he's an idiot if he's going back to a relationship that already hit a brick wall, so you're better off if you can learn to recognize the red flags you should have noticed before you jumped into this wreck of a relationship in the first place.

You're gonna be ok. Just learn from your (and his) mistakes.

Answer 4

hmm I don't understand how you 2 can be very much in love when hes with her and not you . I think your having delusions of grandeur or something and what does a miscarriage have to do with them when the baby was never born it was just a blob of stuff that came out that woman not a breathing child . I think the guy is seeing how its going to go with her first because he loves her more then you and keep you there in case she dumps him like a rock . Stop being so stooped

Answer 5

sweetie...you need to leave him in his sorrows until he gets over his mourning. leave him alone. he broke up with you for a reason. and why are you living with him anyways? get your own place. it is obvious that he wants children. why else is he so focused on it? he's more focused on the fact that you are able to produce children than the person that you are as a whole. get it? a uterus on legs.

Answer 6

Well get yourself some ! and enjoy.