we have been married for 9 years and a good 7 to 8 years when we arguee he thretens divorce he has said that i am a waste of time the marriage is a waste of time that he does not care anymore he has thrown his ring at me he say that he does not want to be my friend anymore I have caught him in several lies he has packed up his truck and i have begged im to stay I have no selfworth because he makes a good living and i keep thinking that things will get better but the past few years seem like repeats we have no sex life the last time we have had sex was before christmas and he does not kiss me intamently he does truck drives so this does cause some problems and he is a diabetic and he has difficulites getting hard we do not have kids i work for an airline were he could fly home for free when he does not have a load to drive but he does not even do that
i do care for him and i provide him with the health insurance and i dont want to hurt him but at the same time i want
2007-03-13 12:14:40 · 15 answers · asked by firecrackertx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
more out of life!
2007-03-13 12:14:56 · update #1
I am a big believer in making this work, but enough of his tough talk. Leave him. Tell him you are tired of him being so "mean" and heartless and maybe just maybe he will miss you and take YOU seriously.
You do not have kids so it's alright to go and try to find yourself. I think you can especially since you have a job!
If you can go home near family or just leave I would and say you want this to work, etc but can't take the abuse of him being so negative an dnot there for you - YOU deserve more.!!
2007-03-13 12:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by kelly e 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you choose to stay in a loveless marriage like that? It sounds like he is not in love with you anymore. If I were you I would quietly and quickly separate your finances from this man, then give him the divorce he has been begging for. If you still love him, if you think he might have any love left for you and you really want it to work, then it sounds like you both need to go to marriage counseling together. You shouldn't base your self-worth on how much money either of you make. Your selfworth should come from within. If you are a good person in your heart then you are worth more than all the money in the world!
2007-03-13 12:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to have self worth if ou feel like no one loves you.JESUS knows everything about you, all your faults,failures, bad haits, bad thouts everything youve ever said thought or done and loves you in SPITE of it!You are worth something to HIM, HE died for you.That being said, if you and your husband wnat to save your marriage, the money has to be 2nd , cut your expenses,get jobs that dont keep you from home.He can deliver parts or drive local and be home nights and week ends, you can find another line of work that'll give you the same.Im sure he has some legitimate gripes about you too, so lets not put all the blame on him.This marrige CAN be saved, but both of you have to want it and be willing to give up things for it.You both really need one another, but if only one is willing and the other isnt, then you'll have to move on with your life.
2007-03-13 12:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's abusive. It's time to stop being a doormat. You're a wife, not something he can treat worse than a dog. Ask him to go to counseling with you to work on the mess that your marriage has become. If he refuses - help him pack his truck. There are men that will be good to you. If he refuses to step up and be one, he needs to get out of the way.
That ought to send his BP through the roof.
2007-03-13 12:21:57 · answer #4 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you but you need to get out and make ur owen life forget about him you need someone that will take care of you and love you so just go get some legal advice and start the paper work is about time you start thinking about you and ur heart. Good luck
2007-03-13 12:23:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone will suggest: "Dump him, you deserve better" when they don't even know half the story.
Since you don't have any kids it wouldn't hurt anyone if you listened.
But, dear you mentioned "you do care for him". Read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schelssinger. It might just change your life.
2007-03-13 12:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by knowitall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone needs to tell you what you should do. It is one thing to love someone. It is another to put up with CRAPOLA, and that's what it is! You need to sit yourself down, and realize you DO deserve more. People will only live up to the expectations that we set...and nothing more. You don't expect enough from him. You have let him see that he can get away with this behavior with no consequences, so why should he give you any better than that? I can feel your pain. I know what it's like to love someone so much, and want so bad for it to work out, but I have realized something very important, FINALLY! You cannot MAKE someone want to do better, give you more, care enough about you to not put you through this, or change! In fact, get used to this if you stay with him. The tone is already set in this marriage. It's so hard to rise above this, but you can! You say you don't want to hurt HIM. That is your (and mine too) first mistake...placing ANYONE's value above your own. You are not hurting him by moving on and getting what you really need out of life. I know in my heart, I need to move on from my situation, because the man I'm with has proven what he's all about over and over again, just like your man. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of it. And many times, I've thought, "I know that once I do take the leap of faith to get out of this, I'm going to kick myself in the BUTT for not doing it earlier!" We only get one life. YOU are important. YOU are beautiful. YOU do count! You just have to DEMAND the respect you deserve. If he cannot get with the program, then he needs to get STEPPIN! You know in your heart that you can have all of those things. Just not with him. It's just hard to take that first step...but once you do, you'll begin to really live. Baby steps....one step at a time. YOU have to love yourself enough to make it happen. Good luck!
2007-03-13 12:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to marriage. This is how it is with millions of people. I say get the hell out of there. Divorce sucks but it is so worth it years down the road. You are just lucky you didn't have any kids with this dude. But if you did you would at least get child support. Pack you bags my dear. Sorry about that. Not kidding. Get going.
2007-03-13 12:22:07 · answer #8 · answered by Suzy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the kind of life you want? I think you deserve better. Split the property and make a life for yourself.
2007-03-13 12:19:12 · answer #9 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all...instead of living your life for him...you need to start living your life for you. if you are being neglected then you need to do what is necessary to take care of yourself. stop waiting on him to do for you when you can do for yourself. you sound fed up. then leave. your happiness is much more important than him putting you down and neglecting you. it is good that you do not have children. you need to start taking care of you. if you share a bank account, you need to get your own account. and your own place. leave him alone. he needs to learn his lessons that he cannot treat anyone like crap. you can stay there and be misreable, or you can do something for yourself and be happy. it's your choice.
2007-03-13 12:48:12 · answer #10 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋