Husband diagnosed ADD and put on drugs turn him into jekyl and Hyde personalty, help!?

Question

After 28 years of putting up with a husband who I thought was Lazy..and may still be, because he could only get one thing done a weekend. He has been diagnosed with attention deficient disorder and put on drugs for this. While it focuses his attention he turns into a nasty, sniping, hyper, horrible type person to his children and me. They have adjusted the dosage of meds, changed meds even, yet he still remains nearly unlivable with. He is also sneaking vodka..has a partial bottle in trunk of car, putting booze in cranberry juice at home. His partnership at the office has come apart (20+ year business) due to his lack of patience with partner, he is starting another business but doesn't want me to help. Counselor says I'm the natural organizer and should be helping but husband won't let me. 2 kids. One Freshman college, one junior high school. Should I just tough out till she graduates and then bail this marriage?

Answer 1

Your husband might have been misdiagnosed. The medication should not be having this drastic of an effect on his mood or behavior. There are a few disorders with similar symptoms and stimulants can make them much worse.

Answer 2

It sounds like your husband was misdiagnosed with ADD. Some of the "symptoms" you mentioned sound more likely to be possibly bipolar rather then ADD. My husband was diagnosed with bipolar and acting in a similar way most of the time until he was put on meds for it. If I were you, I would try to get a second opinion. Plus the drinking along with the meds is not a very good combo. That could also be causing some of the problems.

Answer 3

Im sorry.First gte him off the drugs and tell the doctor he is an idiot and your husband wont be seeing him anymore.If your husband had ADD that BAD he could NOT have kept the bussiness going for the last 20 yrs.The problem is your husband is dealing with the stress thru drugs and alcohol and it isnt really helping him.The best thing to do is send him to rehab and also get him into church if he will go.United Pentecostal churches are the best and I know from experience there is nO feeling in the world when you are stressed out and you pray and you KNOW that you know GOD is going to see you thru ANY and EVERY problem!By the way I call my neice goat gal lol.

Answer 4

My finacee was diganosed Bi-polar and I went through the whole emotional hell that you are going through (without kids though) The meds he was on turned him into a complete a**hole. I was ready to leave. Finally I just broke and fell apart. It finally sunk into his head what he was doing to me and putting my through. You need to find a way to get through to your husband to let him know exactly what he is doing to you and your kids. If it doesn't help I would say to take your kids somewhere for a while so he can see exactly what it is like to not have his family around anymore. Take it from me, my parents divorced when I was 19, it's not easier on the kids to wait it out, if anything it is harder. Do what feels right in your heart. It may take several trips to the doctor to get the right meds and the right dose, but if he wants his family he will do what it takes for everyone to be happy.
Good luck, be strong!

Answer 5

Go to his counselor and tell them the truth about the situation. Drinking with his medication is a dangerous combination for him, you and others. If necessary, you can have him committed, but don't try to wait it out. It will only get worse if not stopped. You can take him to your local hospital immediately and they can help you. It is entirely possible he has been misdiagnosed so you may want to get a second opinion. Once he gets the help he needs, it is up to him to make improvements in himself. If he refuses to give up drinking, then you should consider leaving. Some people simply choose to continue into self-destruction and will drag down those near them.

Answer 6

Well come on there were signs... You just choose to ignore them... I say this out of expierence... I am a man who had a wife do this. The little indicators where there but i choose to look away be it the sex or other reasons. So don't put all the blame on him. If im wrong I apologize just going on my own Mis Hyde. Do what i did get out while you can and find someone who makes you happy.

Answer 7

Make sure the dose is correct. He may be taking too much.

ADD treatment includes various drugs, maybe he needs a diferent medication in that group, or a whole new drug group.

I would definately speak to his psychiatrist. Such personality changes could easily be a side-effect of the medication r overdosage and may be easily resolved.

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Answer 8

Sometimes with medication peoples thought patterns may change but if the change is that drastic I think hes just going through a midlife change. Maybe he thinks since his children are almost grown, he doesn't have to try as hard in the marriage. I think that however long you wait, your kids will still be shocked. If you do it sooner, it might make you happier.

Answer 9

Sounds like he has an addiction and is missusing his meds.Most ADD meds are amphedimines and are simular to cocaine and crystalmeth if abused.Treat this as a drug addiction.You can also make an appointment with his doctor and tell him about the situation and what it is doing to your family and ask if he could perscribe your husband a "non-stimulant."Good luck,i've been there.

Answer 10

don't stay with him just for the sake of the children. if you are unhappy then get out. your husband is capable of taking care of himself. my parents separated when me and my sister were still in high school. they finally divorced when i was in my second year of college. your daughter is capable of dealing and is capable of adjusting. but she needs to understand that what is happening between you and your husband has nothing to do with her and it is not her fault.