Why are humans so overcome when hey first start out in a relationship, but as time goes the feelings die down.

Question

The feelings die down and the its longing for a new exciting experience. Why is change a nessary part of relationships when we have someone who already cares.

Answer 1

The whole reason is to get humans togheter. When we fall in love, our brain floods with drugs we call neurotransmitters that control our mood. Serotonin and Dopamine are increased. These are the exact drugs that can cause depression in low doses or a high on illicit drugs. We get flooded to keep people togheter until they get to know each other. However, our brain can only produce these drugs for so long, and then they fall back to normal (within a few months to a year). By then we should not need them to stay together. We begin to see flaws and other things we were blind to. We move from falling in love to love. Its all in the chemicals makeup. Some people need the "high" so they bounce from relationship to relationship, usually within a few months when the drug starts to wear off. But they are lonely, and may have other addictions (to sex, you name it).
BTW, Anti depressants work in the same way but much more slowly. If you want I can tell you exactly how the chemical system works but I will leave that to another note.
Divorces, deaths, breakups can do the opposite, significantly lower these drugs for awhile. Usually they move back to normal. So sometimes taking a anti-depressant to get through the horrible times in life is just fine (it does not prevent healing, but decreases suffering.)

Answer 2

Good question. I believe that humans have this instinct in them that act only on wanting to experience whatever life throws their way or just to live freely. Feelings die down because as time goes on the two humans learn more about each other and when there's nothing more to learn, a person feels as though they really know that person or that they are that person, so nothing stays new forever. Change is necessary in a relationship because things can always change in a blink of an eye - anything can happen at anytime. I believe that if people establish a mental understanding (that can last forever) with someone who they care about or love from the beginning, there wouldn't be enough room for change or for something to die down no matter how old you get and no matter how much you know about each other. It's all about finding the right person and establishing a mental understanding because if this person is The One and loves/cares about you like you do about them, then it's mutual.

Answer 3

I believe that giddy, totally energetic on top of the world feeling comes from chemicals in our brains called endorphins which are secreted when we first meet somebody and fall head over heels in love. But it is only natural that it should die down as you must get to the basics of life and all it involves doing in your life. We wouldn't be able to physically sustain such a high forever, our hearts probably would give out. Also some people are addicted to this feeling so when things die down in a relationship, they are like addicts, they go looking for another person tomake the feel that way. Hope this was of some help.