Can divorce be attributed to personality?

Question

I've been answering questions on Yahoo for awhile now, I find the forum very interesting...but depressing at times, as couple after couple seems to suffer through various trauma's, from infidelity to lying to abuse. However, a little personal research and various news items lately have suggested that alot of this can be attributed directly to the personality of the people involved...happy, upbeat and optimistic people tend to get married and stay together, perhaps because they see the good in people when times are tough. Depressed, angry, bitter people tend to get divorced, which simply reinforces their bitterness. I know this oversimples reality, but it still begs the question: Should we be looking for a specific marrying type of personality?

Answer 1

You're dead on! I'm happy, and I would definitely do whatever I could to save my marriage, and to put forth a good fight before throwing divorce on the table.

Depressed or unhappy people tend to give up, and mope around and not do anything about their marriage. When times get tough, they tend to lash out, and blame each other instead of getting real about their problems.

Good question! :)

Answer 2

I think personality has a great deal to do with it, but it's not the only variable. Another important one is compatibility - like backgrounds, beliefs, etc.

I will tell you that personality disorders do a great deal of damage in marriages. Those pesky little boogers are a veeeery good reason to date for at least a year before you become engaged, much less married. You need to determine, as best you can, if you'll be marrying someone with one. If you do, you're marrying the personality disorder, not the person. And PD's will tear your marriage apart before there's any recovery (recovery from PD is very difficult, because most don't/won't realize they even have a problem much less recovery from it).

Answer 3

Not always.Some happy upbeat people are selfish, but both groups can change for the better.The problem is most people arent willing to.The number one cause of divorce is selfishness"I want what I want and if you dont give me everything my way or accept me as I am no matter how miserable I make you then its over!"Or "Its my way or the highway" syndrome.The other thing is people do not see one another thru the eyes of reality most the time before saying "I do".They marry hoping the pther person will fullfill their fantasy and the ther person is hoping for the same thing,and neither have a clue as to what the other's fantasy is and if they did, they'd run for the hills.

Answer 4

I have to wonder how depressed, angry, bitter people end up married anyway. Who wants to marry someone like that? Yes, some of the questions on here are depressing. Many times after I was on yahoo answers, I looked at my husband and said "Some of these people are nuts!"

Answer 5

And how do people become angry and depressed? Family (so called single, or broken, or divorced, however you call them) has a factor in it but no guarantee. I am sure there are all kinds of statistical correlations here and there. People with higher education or better income might stay together, at least longer.

Fact of the matter, people come in all kind and their personality and character change in accordance to how their lives turn out. Don't forget, even our all too powerful elected representatives have affairs and some with rather ugly inclinations. Aren't these politiians very upbeat, smooth, and successful? How do you spot their weaknesses?

Answer 6

I think there are people that are the devoted marrying type and others that are not. I totally agree with your statement in the question. I think sometime the word "marriage" gives one a false security feeling or maybe they think all their friends are and they are afraid not to marry soon. I think that the love, honor and charish, death do we part thing is not taken serious anymore. I think marrying type personality should be a very specific factor when marriage is being considered. If one can not honor their marriage vows, they should not get married.

Answer 7

properly, i'm 22 and that i've got been scuffling with an ex for extremely almost 3 yrs. (and that i'm nonetheless waiting on him to sign the divorce papers!!!) I do think of that premarital intercourse performs a place interior the severe divorce fee, in spite of if, i think of the reality that this type of great style of infants rush into the hot fade this is marriage and young ones contributes alot greater. i replaced into merely with my ex husband for 1yr. and 4mths. In that element there replaced right into a 4mth. courtship, 11mth. 3 week marriage and a new child born of the mess that replaced into us. If it weren't for adverse impulse administration, i do no longer think of any of that could've exceeded off (nevertheless, i would not substitute it for a 2d by way of fact then i would not have my beautiful daughter) looking back nevertheless it replaced into very stupid, we did no longer be attentive to truly something approximately one yet another. extremely, i think of if the greater youthful technology, say 18-25 could merely decelerate and experience there life and relationships and supply up questioning that there is mostly a thank you to enhance issues, it could all be alot greater desirable. much less kinfolk batteries (probable, propose adult adult males are propose adult adult males, on occasion) and a decrease divorce fee.

Answer 8

I think you have a very valid point. But you also have to take into consideration there are 2 personalities, and they have to be compatible with each other first and foremost. But I have to agree people with a bad outlook in general are probably a lot more likely to divorce, if for no other reason than they drive their partners away with their negativity.

Answer 9

I would not think that someone who is happy, upbeat, and optimistic, would want to be in a relationship with someone who is depressed, angry, and bitter long enough to marry them. Or sometimes, people used to be happy, upbeat, and optimistic, and their partners depression, anger, and bitterness brings them to a depressed, angry, and bitter level.

Answer 10

Hell yes!!! And also people so often mistake sex for love, and think that "love" will get you through any adversity, that is simply not true. Both parties have to be mature enough to have a good relationship, to keep one another in check when needed, to make mature decisions regarding money, family matters (relatives living with you, having children, etc).

My hubby says "get along, or get along down the road", we do not waste our life bickering.