Would you want to talk to his ex directly before making the same mistakes she did? Would you want a "warning" about him? Sometimes people put on a good front. I'm wondering if I should talk to her first.
2007-03-13 11:09:06 · 15 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
only if you believe or have heard rumours about domestic violence.....other than that, then no! you have nothing to learn from his ex whatsoever....what may not have worked for them may well work for you.
He would hopefully have learned lessons, he may well love you far more than he ever did her, he may feel ready for marriage now but didn't before. Besides who's to say the marriage breakdown was all his fault?
Unless his last marriage broke up because of violence then she has nothing at all to help you with your new man.......besides how do you know she'll be giving you the truth, she's hardly going to say it was all her fault they broke up.....noooooo hun, stay well away from her.
2007-03-13 11:28:18 · answer #1 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to talk to her first , you've already found somethings that makes you uncomfortable with him. But, a ex has nothing but negative feelings toward him are they wouldn't be divorced.
I think in a situation such as you find yourself in, wait and find out more about him. Best thing is have a trial marriage and then you'll see all his good and bad traits. Then you will know for yourself if you want to be with him for the rest of your life.
2007-03-13 11:19:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they had an amicable divorce then she might talk straight to you. If it was not amicable then she will make up a load of crap to try and ruin things. Women tend to be very passive aggressive and there is nothing an ex would love better than to plant the seeds of dissent in her husbands new marriage. Why set yourself up?
2007-03-13 11:19:23 · answer #3 · answered by Pooky Bear the Sensitive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I his ex wife is willing to talk to sure why not, I talked to the soon to be bride of my ex husband, since we had a child is better to know the girl who will be spending time with your child too, I mind you me and my ex have a great friends relationship so it´s easier, but if she is nuts then don´t believe everything she tells you of course, but is better to keep all parties at peace.
2007-03-13 11:13:34 · answer #4 · answered by copita 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's crazy, she is an ex for a reason, she may still want him, believe me I know from experience. My husband would be like why in the world would you ask her questions about me, don't you know who I am. Keep your relationship between you and your fiance, seriously that is just insane!
2007-03-13 11:51:49 · answer #5 · answered by Vegas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I would have no contact with her at all. It's just gonna cause problems. You should really know the man that you are dating, and if you are questioning it, then you should hold off the wedding. I would stay out of their past relationship together and just go on with the experiences that you've had with him. When in doubt, hold off on the wedding.
2007-03-13 11:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you may be having second thoughts about him, if ou need to talk to his ex. but the more we know about his past the better we can determine what our future will be like with him. but no i would not6 talk to her about him, just get to really know him, how he handles stress, if he is kind, generous, has a good work ethic, good morals, wait until u really get to know him, and if there is something about him u don't quite like that would be your intuition warning u not to do it.
2007-03-13 11:30:08 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't...she is the one who will put on a good front...there are two sides to every story...if you have doubts about him then face them directly.....don't be foolish...you and she are not the same people...good luck
2007-03-13 11:16:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not - at least, not with the purpose of getting "warned". I trust my own judgement far more than a (biased) judgement of an individual I don't know.
2007-03-13 11:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be fine to talk to her, but I wouldn't make all of my decision based on what she says. If she sounds incredibly jealous and hostile, I would throw what she says out the window. If she seems calm and able to talk about things rationally, I would say that she will tell you pretty much what happened as she sees it in the divorce...
2007-03-13 11:19:26 · answer #10 · answered by It's Just My Opinion 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋