my pre-teen?

Question

Is 12. PLEASE tell me this is a phase, or horomones, or something. The attitude here at home is enough to drive me mad, and its often over nothing at all, or things that just ARE. Perfect example, chores. He has had the same four chores for the last four years(trash duty, feed and water dog and cat, his room and getting his laundry from his room to the laundry room...so I can do it...) these things are suddenly up for negotiation, and he SWEARS to me he is the only child who has soooo many chores. Im not buying it, as he has a third of what I had when I was his age, he gets help from both me and his dad, and even if that were not the case, with this attitude, the only thing that has been negotiable lately is my help with them. LOTS of attitude, and no sign of any willingness to make good choices.....Im at a loss:((

Thanks everyone Im over myself now. Wasn't so long ago I was a teenager. Colleen I just couldn't resist coming back on that one, nothing personal...bad choices, by societies standards. He has been drug back by the cops twice this year for the dumest stuff(ding dong ditching, and egging of all things) and then last week, my friend honked at him while driving by, and he flipped her the bird....BAD choices. lol again thx everyone(specially you kids.....)

Answer 1

Ha ha ha, Boy do I feel you! I have an 11 year old son who is exactly the same way. Puberty has hit hard. Their poor little hormones are wreaking havoc on their little bodies.
I had months of screaming and fighting over taking out the trash, or taking a shower... finally, after hearing about how the kids at school have all this, don't have to do chores and get to stay up as late as they want, I took my son for a 3 hour volunteer session at the nearest family homeless shelter. I think it was a humbling experience, because now for the past couple of months, he has been a different child.

Answer 2

Well Mom as a parent I remember not long ago, oh who am I kidding more then 30 years ago, as a teen I felt like chores were piled on me and I had the same behaviors, well like Colleen said it's puberty and all the changed that boys go through that cause them to go nuts over little or dumb things. I assure you that he will grow out of it, it might be 20 or more grey hairs from now but I assure you in a few years you will look back on this and laugh. I also believe our kids will endure what we have endured in the form of their own kids and sweet news, it's a parents great revenge to send their grandkids back and let them drive their parents nuts like your kids did you. God Bless and good luck, also have your Youth Pastor talk to him if it's unbearable. Sometimes we can help. A YP in GA. I know.

Answer 3

Normal, hormones, phase, you pretty much answered it. Just don't give in, keep being consistant. Tell him to drop the attitude or be grounded! He will yell "that's not fair" and so on, but keep your cool and authority, you will get through it.. just don't forget to reward for good behavier and choices... he needs to know that he isn't doing it for nothing at this age... allowance is a place to start.. even if it isn't alot(it also gives you another priviledge to take away). When I was that age that was the ONLY reason I did anything... my mom stopped just handing me money and made me work for it. It also helped my attitude problem because i wouldn't get anything but grounded and no allowance for giving to much attitude. Just breathe hunny! he'll get the hint!

Answer 4

Gosh. I know how that exactly feels. I'm 12 right bnow (13 in October).

My mom just makes me mad so much. So I just say screw it. I'm doing chores, especially since she cut off my allowance. But the attitude is just feeling like your parents are just here to make your life a living hell and we get private and want you to stay out of our lives until we want you to come back in.

But coming from a 12 year old, we say we hate you and stay out of our lives, but really we want you in more than ever. I throw attitudes at my mom on a weekly basis and she just deals because she knows its just me growing up.

The best advice I could offer you is to just try to compromise with your son because that's what my mom did. Tell him if he does his chores and does them well, he'll get rewarded. Like computer time, $5, something. But if he slacks off he doesn't get it.

Then gradually cut off the tokens and tell him he needs to keep his responsibility for bigger things to come.

Kinda just hold his hand and let him know you're there. That's just what we want but leave it up to our parents to figure out.
I mean because parents work to get paid so why shouldn't we?
Chores are work so can't there be some compensation?

Answer 5

Yes It's a fase { sorry can't spell} most kids go threw it and the next time he complains make sure he knows it could be a whole lot worse. tell him he can start doing the Laundry if he wants to Tell him he is gonna lose prevligous and list off the chores you had to do and tell him if he doesn't stop complaning you'll give him more chores then follow threw with it. my mom does it to my sister and I all the Time and it works.

good luck and God bless

Answer 6

im 14 right now, but i can say the attitude is pretty much unavoidable.
the realy reason we dont want to do the chores... we're just lazy and we hate having to work, we dont care if its messy so why should we clean it if it doesn't effect us? tahst whats really going through the mind of the troubled pre-teen. but try giving him a reward, if he is motivated by SOMETHING he's more likely to have less of an attitude, trust me. even if its just going out to ice cream or getting money twards a new video game.

Answer 7

You only need to say, 'No negotiating' when it looks like it is going that way. I was in favor of negotiating until my kids were teenagers - now, I realize they will negotiate, all right, but it will never stop. It's not going to be like that in the real world, job-wise or in any situation where people depend on him. So now's the time to put negotiating in its place, which is nowhere.

Answer 8

These arent hormones. It's peer pressure. Its "cool" to be a lazy rebel nowadays. my grandma said that when she lived in Russia, she had to work 4 hours a day on the fields as a kid. She never complained ------ and neither did her friends.

Its not like the chores are hard or anything.

Answer 9

okay.im 13.so i can sooo help you on this.when i was 12 all i wanted to do was sleep.my parents grounded me alll the time because of my aditude.he is NOT the only child that always does chores.i have like 5 chores a day.i guess this is totally normal for him.my parents talk to other people about me & all the other people say is..'its normal..but it will just get worse.'...so i guess it is normal.good luck with him :]

Answer 10

lol dont worry its a (long) phase.. lol im going throught that right now... im 14. i hade like 5 chores but i could swear that i was the only kid on the planet that had that many and just stopped doing them... but then my allowence stopped ...lol but i still moe the lawn which gets me sum money lol :p ... well, ya dont worry ur kid sounds WAY NORMAL for hid age ... rude, selfish and not making good choices .. lol. ive kinda gotton better on the good choices area cuz im in highschool ... so ya lol.. but im just SO lazy which u will probably run into with ur child when he gets into highschool. well good luck. just keep in mind ur kids normal. lol