we use to date or mess around with. Then today i came arcoss some old IMs to a girl he use to date, and from reading them it seems like he was watching here and her roommate mess around on a webcam. What should i do? Should i ask him about it or what? The IMs where date for after we made the agreement and after we got married.
2007-03-13 10:07:56 · 16 answers · asked by jenniferguelker 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ask him
2007-03-13 10:10:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kewpie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and ask him about the IMs, but don't fly off the handle about them.
It's pretty unreasonable for either of you to have made the agreement in the first place and shows a distinct lack of trust on both parts.
If indeed he's been watching this girl & her roommate fool around, then maybe it would be good to sit down and have a frank discussion with him. I don't know how old either of you are, or how long you've been married, or even the circumstances fo the marriage, which are all factors in a situation such as this. However, perhaps he's feeling that sex has gone a bit stale or you both have gotten into a rut and he's looking for a bit of excitement.
If this is the case, find out what things you guys can do to liven it up a bit so that he doesn't feel the need to live vicariously thru a webcam. Plan on doing one kinky thing a week for a couple of months. Really wierd stuff...you just might like it and breathe some excitement and trust into your lives.
2007-03-13 17:16:28 · answer #2 · answered by worldtraveller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him, and tell him you don't want that kind of relationship is he is not being honest, what can you expect from the relationship?
I have that kind of trouble with my husband too, it was a bad arguing but he understood that even if he did it as a joke, he was disrespecting me.
He said was sorry, and everything is fine now.
You need to trust him to be able to have a healthy relationship.
2007-03-13 17:17:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lolalola 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely confront him. Regardless of whether if was before or after you got married, as long as you were together, that is basically cheating. Don't let him get away with it, or he may do it again, and he may even go so far as to join in.
2007-03-13 17:11:46 · answer #4 · answered by srjmhottie17 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would certaintly ask him, but don't expect him to just own up to it. My ex-husband cheated on me for 4 yrs and lied about it every time I asked him, he only admitted to it because he was leaving me for one of the girls. Anyone, man or woman who cheats or is cheating is going to lie about it to cover themselves. I have found that the evidence speaks for itself and that if you believe he is doing this chances are he is. And watching another woman "fool around" on a web cam is cheating cuz you know he was taking care of himself while he was doing it.
2007-03-13 17:13:36 · answer #5 · answered by suzyalexisandgabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, silly, of course you should ask him. If you feel as though his involvement with this stuff is a sort of betrayal, how could you not ask him? Demand an answer, and tell him it better be a good one! Ask him this very minute....
2007-03-13 17:12:16 · answer #6 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the point.......Did he break the aggreement? If so, then you need to confront him or let it go and don't bring it up again. I, personally, could not let something like that go. But, that's just me. I would be upset and hurt by it at first. Then, I'd be really mad.
2007-03-13 17:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind him of the agreement and ask him to stop doing it..
Don't make it a big deal...
2007-03-13 17:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you might ask him if he feels OK knowing that you control his IMS, as well as is your agreement still valid?
2007-03-13 17:12:13 · answer #9 · answered by Vesna G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...Yeah, I'd be asking him about it!!! Not only did he break his promise, he's been hiding something from you. What else has he been up to that you don't know about??? Don't let him get away with treating you and your marriage like this!!
2007-03-13 17:12:20 · answer #10 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats sick. he could possibly be cheating on you. he'll probably deny it. i think you should probably leave him. same thing happened in my family. dad was cheating and looking at web cams on the computer. then, no more family. im thinking confront him then see where it goes from there i guess.
2007-03-13 17:12:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋